‘APPRECIATIVE’ PEACE

One of the most pressing challenges of recent times, that requires our timely attention, is maintaining long-term human relationships! Problems shake us up at work, at home, in our extended family circles, community, society and nation; all the way to those of our global relationships!? At the crux of this huge, complex issue, lies individual thoughts, behaviours, feelings attitudes, perceptions, our likes & dislikes, prejudices, biases, egos and others, all having an impact - favourable or unfavourable.

"Appreciative Relationships", thus, is what could be aimed for, and as an idea, worth spreading.? This is to ensure, effective tackling of situations before they get blown out of proportion; reaching warring levels.? Every factor of peace building, needs to be examined at individual, family or organizational levels of cordial human relationships which are worth emulation.? These factors could then be considered for cross-pollination amid conflict zones, as it is ‘peace’ and ‘only peace’ that can make wars cease!? It is not the other way round - that is to say, conflicts or wars as formulae to bring about peace or any kind of settlements could never be the panacea. As experience has it, even seemingly successful attempts with respect to the latter, are invariably only at the cost of huge losses along several other fronts. Peace treaties, empathy and mutual respect go a long way in ensuring the much longed for ‘peace of mind’ and salvaging many a conflict situation or the plight of those parting ways due to sheer incompatibility.?

So, where do initiatives of such a huge, daunting task of peace propagation begin?? One may tend to imagine this to be an impossible task but is actually not at all so, especially in this era, when we are blessed with technology which helps reach out to trillions of us, with the bat of an eyelid or the click of a finger! There are umpteen Technology based platforms offering videos, talk-shows and others, through which transformation through peace propagation could happen ‘’en masse”. Translations of these, into as many languages of multi-lingual countries especially as in the case of India, could happen using ‘technology’, as one impactful way of ensuring this.

Tough to implement though strongly advocated, are “Peace Dialogues”, which could be pitched to achieve ‘Appreciative Relationships’.? These could be moderated by experts or experienced seniors/mentors within groups or units and are ideally, ‘Consistent’ and ‘Appreciative’ in nature. Needless to say, ‘Consistency’ when it comes to persistent and perseverant efforts, holds key to success, with no room for impulsive tendencies’ especially so, in the domain of inter-personal relationships. ?

Such moderated deliberations could creatively introduce ‘’silence spells” or “Maun Vrath” (a Hindi term referring to silent introspection) - of ??just 2 minutes or so, to set the tone and help conflict-ridden minds to get started in a calm and composed manner.? Others include exercising of non-judgmental observation/listening by mentors which helps win the confidence of the parties seeking such mentoring and guidance.

At a parallel level, an “Appreciative” outlook encourages us to refocus, take cognizance of “what works” or “what worked best in the past”, for using these effectively in place of frequent, repetitive recalls of “what had gone wrong” in the past.? Making objective notes of mistakes or unfavourable actions or moves, however works a great deal, helping us swiftly move back to the position of our ‘’here & now” which, in turn helps us move on, and take constructive decisions related to future-oriented actions.

There are very many institutions doing a great job of training the human mind, instilling EQ (emotional Quotient), SQ (Spiritual Quotient) etc., but great would it be to subsidize such workshops by expert institutions propagating peace or its basic tenets.? Sponsoring or offering these absolutely free-of-cost would help aim at a far greater outreach for instilling the desired PQ (Peace Quotient) among the masses! Interestingly, we could unleash our collective ‘Appreciative Intelligence’ for attaining global peace, synergistically, while alongside, we would do well aiming at raising our individual ‘’AI-Q” (Appreciative Intelligence Quotient)!

There are institutions par excellence, spreading their wings across the globe, with their peace missions, meditation, yoga, music sessions and spiritual knowledge dissemination programs and publications.? Hopefully, their coverage would become exponential in the times to come, bringing about a sea change in the current scenario. All of them are doing their best to instill human values in society and guide seekers gently through the spiritual route to peace with their interactional prowess in the worldly domains where they seek happiness, peace and prosperity.? Our choice of choosing the right ones, though, need to be based on tactfully sifting the genuine ones from fake, or those laden with vested interests.

Yet, all these still seem to be falling short of the overwhelming challenge of promoting peace at a global level while helping everyone attain - both inner peace as well as amity in the external atmosphere, where they live and operate in.? This is for averting the ‘war for survival’ looming large as an eventuality.

Let us humans therefore, wake up to the fact that each one of us, beginning from ourselves, within, need to address this issue, reform ourselves and at least our immediate neighborhoods to begin with, by showing exemplary leadership skills and qualities.? These include a profound sense of responsibility towards every other human being on Earth.

For this, a simultaneous, thorough inner scrutiny of oneself, each moment of life, is not only ‘need of the hour’ but as one, now surfacing as top priority for attainment of peace; promoting individual and collective welfare!??

Support systems in terms of guidance, role models, seminars, webinars, discourses, mentoring, coaching, self-help books, libraries and so much more offering a plethora of solutions are available aplenty - no dearth!? However, how accessible or affordable or even practical are these to the general populace is the question. Moreover, the gain through the above modes, by a comparatively miniscule section of society, needs to be sustained through the processes of self-reflection, rumination and application of knowledge gained in and through the course of ‘’daily” lives led.

Conscious and Responsible Behaviours, Compassion, and a long-term vision are the attributes that need to be cultivated at individual level and made ‘intrinsic’ to one’s nature creating scope for positive ripple effects impacting the family and wider concentric circles of society. ?If this were not so, the wide gamut of self-help books and external methods of inculcating these would have already made a huge difference, making all the above ponderings redundant!

Each one of us could propagate peace! The concept of “Appreciative Peace” is to replace the very word VIOLENCE by using the word PEACE which then becomes our ‘’buzzword”.?

Peace is indeed a priceless gem for women and so also, ‘’peaceful women” for the whole of our globe. After all, it is only when women thrive, that we could aim at achieving, at a collective level, the ‘’wiping away or mitigation” of mass strife. So let us take the wand of Peace in our hands.

Wishing the whole of ‘humanity’ the best of what is in store for us all, in future!

“Appreciatively”

Vaidehi Krishnan

The author is also the founder of a non-profit Trust called Women's Synergy, (WS) which facilitates empowerment of Indian women. For knowing more about WS’ workshops on Appreciative Parenting/ Appreciative Thought Management, (which uses her book “Poetic Reflections – A Participatory workbook on Happiness, Health & Relationships’ as a tool), or other programs, please get in touch through - www.facebook.com/womensynergy or [email protected]

Bengaluru, August 2024