Appreciative Feedback: More than just Good Job!

Feedback can often be a little skewed to the "constructive". We're wired to notice the negative over the positive, often completely overlooking the good stuff. Worse, culturally we have tendency to reduce appreciation to minimum socially acceptable terms: "thanks", "well done", "good job"; essentially platitudes.

Not only do they convey very little about what it was that we did impacted, to fuel learning, but without a strong relationship premised on feedback, it can come across vapid or even disingenuous. We must do better.

It’s important to put the requisite sort of energy into appreciated feedback. In the last article we shared COIN , which will help you share appreciation with greater clarity, sincerity and in a manor they’ll understand what they did that had an impact.

Excelling appreciation needs practiced. A few weeks ago we set you up with scenario cards focusing on performance feedback . Here are some to help with appreciation :)

How to practise with these cards?

Each card contains a real-world feedback scenario that establishes some context for the giver and receiver. These cards refer to [SOMETHING] which allows us to use our imagination to expand the scenario. Lastly they all have a spice meter at the bottom, one being quite mild, 3 being rather spicy. Here’s how to use them:

Alone

Pick a card and imagine you’re the [GIVER] in that scenario. How would you go about it? Write down your approach, considering both the content and the delivery. Reflect, are you clear, respectful, and constructive? Find a mirror and practice giving it to your reflection. For bonus points use your laptop camera and record it. How was it, how did it come across? Reframe your perspective to the receiver. How did it make you feel? What are you curious about now? Find one thing to tweak or change and try again. Pick another scenario and try again. Doing this regularly will help you develop a feedback style that is both effective and compassionate.

In small groups

Find colleagues or friends keen to get better at feedback. One of you plays the [GIVER], and another the [RECEIVER], everybody else observes. Act out the scenario, have fun with it! Choose wild and silly things for the [SOMETHINGS]. To begin, stand apart and [GIVER]? approach [RECEIVER] to offer feedback. Use your best skills, approaches and techniques. Observers listen to the words that are and watch their body language. After each role-play, discuss what worked, what didn’t, and how the feedback could be improved. Take note of the brilliant things that others do and try them out for yourselves. Change roles, scenarios and go again.?

In big groups

The method for small groups (above) can be scaled to big groups, simply divide into triads and add additional rounds of reflection to share back to the group. Keep a chart of those brilliant things so that everyone can find something new to experiment with.?

Alternatively you use them in an improv theatre. In this you will have a [GIVER], [RECEIVER] and a director. Everyone else is an observer. The role of the director is to stop, start and restart the play taking regular opportunities to explore insight from the players and observers. Switch players and scenarios when the time is right and remember to keep it fun, lite and to celebrate the performance.

Make it a routine

Make feedback practise a part of your daily routine. Choose one card each day and think about how you would handle the situation. Reflect on similar scenarios you’ve faced and how you managed them. Did you miss an opportunity to give constructive feedback? How could you improve next time? Say the words out loud, Etc. Practice is best when done little and often.

Keep a journal

After using the cards, journal your reflections. What did you learn from practising this feedback scenario? What experiments did you try? How did they go? What areas do you want to improve? Keeping track of these things really helps reinforce your learning over time.

Putting It Into Practice

Feedback is a skill that can transform not just you but entire teams and organisations. The more you practise, the better you’ll get, and the more rewarding the process will become. Whether you’re reflecting on your own or working with a team, the key is to approach feedback with openness, kindness, and a willingness to learn.

So, print the cards, cut them out, pick a scenario, and start practising! You’ll be amazed at the progress you make.

Noel and I will be sharing weekly insights, images and tools to support giving and receiving feedback over the coming weeks.

#masteringfeedback