Appreciating team or noticing positive behaviour of team can energize happiness and engagement - resulting far higher result - My experiment

Back in 1980- when I was studying in one of small govt school in  remote place, 80 km from state capital Lucknow in rural hinterland Of UP, where mainly son/daughter of farmer were getting their education . I was son of farmer , hence my dressing sense use to be   worst as i was really poor. I had crush on girl from rich family , whose attention I needed most . She gave attention to some guy from rich family, whose father was in govt job. I was topper of class but she never paid attention . I realized  power of wealth, which I  did not have   - which can enhance your  significance/importance they way other look at you  and how each value you. Our valuation in other’s was not based on wisdom but wealth of parent. This  was big lesson I learnt in early part of my life.

I pledge my self to get wealth by being best  in studies( only means available to me) and getting  wealth  through best job by better education so that stigma attach to me for being farmer son can be removed . Some one told me about NTSE exam ,which can take me to city from rural , once I realized , I  studied day and night - got 15th position in state . I  came back to district head  qts  in best Govt school – set  my direction to IIT by 16 hours daily hard work – waking up 4 am and sleeping 10pm in night without any holiday to get attention of girl, where she denied me for being son of farmer . I cracked the IIT in first attempt and I was first one to go in IIT  in entire tahseel of my district . – I took revenge not marry same girl , who gave attention to wealth rather wisdom . I am also grateful to her for denying me same to give me energy - Learning from my  child hold - we do every  thing toget attention for our existence .

When I was helping  prepare my son for same exam , his hunger was no longer wealth . Being single son , he had every thing except his pride in class to be popular with his mark. I kept on appreciating every incremental marks and bringing his focus on being top. He also cracked for IIT in first attempt. Hence appreciation his game changer .

If we look at our   childhood – we all crab for our love from one of  our  parents, when we grow up in adulthood . Knowingly or unknowingly - all of us   will adopt a character of person, whom we  were crabbing for love during adulthood . For example one day I was interacting with one of sales guy , who told me one network  engineer  help sales guys immediately  to find solution  for customer, when ever there is complaint. While  probing further to find out, why he is best in helping sales, I was shocked . He use to crab for love from his father in childhood,  who was working in Powergrid ,where he use to solve customer  issues even during day n night . Many of our behavior  is shaped by our parent to get their attention and we are not aware of same   . This is precise reason why  in interview/marriage   focus is more on upbringing from parents /value/type of friend we keep or roam with .

In 2005 – I did experiment to find impact of appreciation in our performance in sales  . We did not have   whats up  then  and hence ask each leader to appreciate his team as many times as possible  – you  can send appreciation though  office portal   and it will be broad casted to entire hyd sales team. There is no limit for appreciating but it must be genuine and fact based ,when one observed there is improvement in any  key performance area of sales guy. Experiment opened my eyes - best performing manager appreciated   maximum . I showed  data to entire team along with result . Weak manager does not have time to notice any change /improvement . They set very high goal and keep on troubling his team .

Best performing manager is highly engaged guy – who  have sharp   focus on people development  and notice any incremental change or development – goes  all the way to convey either calling his people or giving some gift or stating  what is right behaviour he has seen . They always appreciates lavishly  and focus on positive strength  of people .This improve happiness of team. They listen  to people, how they are progressing in their goal.

Over 2 Years - if I Look any  my   top performing  direct reports - person who is best and number one - I track their number of appreciation they do  - Best performing manager is one ,who appreciates maximum and vice versa is true

Over last week – I started appreciating in   unique way - who ever came first in front line – I  was singing for him” aap jaisa koi meri jindagi mai hai – bat  ban jai “- impact had been transformation of their personal  energy over next day – daily  performance went up by 50% and they work extra Sunday without even asking .

Costly bike /car and Ladies buying diamond /gold – even though borrowing money from outside indicate strong human desire to be  noticed by society let us exploit same for our gain in getting what we want our team to do.

Why  Manager do not appreciate

Most of us  set high expectation and are not engaged with team. we  do not  see incremental development . 1000 steps journey start with first steps . we have seen  parents - when child comes with 80% mark - parents do not appreciates his loving kid,but  asking why not 100% mark from child  killing child confidence instantly permanently  . we all have been victim when we grew up . If we are lavish on genuine praise - u will develop one of  happiest team and all tgt will be met.

How to exploit our power of appreciation

1) Power of Focus

Vivekanand says – difference between  ordinary people and extra ordinary is only power of concentration  of mind . Many time , when we go and meet some one in their room , they are busy with phone /laptop and we do not get attention, feel frustrated  . Most of meeting – people come with lap top and they are engaged with laptop or phone paying hardly any attention ( they called themself multi tasker) - Our Brain have got memory of 126 bite/second and if we divide in many activity - we are not doing justice . when we talk to some one over phone , while  working on same time on lap top over mail  - even other end guy will not feel  happy and will able to sense disconnect . When we  focus on people with whom, we work – we will notice people  feeling/improvement and we can appreciate with feeling attached to it.  

2. Decision

We  always think/say and do - most of decision is driven by subconscious mind . we always procrastinate decision making . we always set long expectation . we see progress but blind to appreciate . Best leader are fastest decision makers .always ask heart for judgement and u will not be disappointed .

3)Being Unselfish  

Most of decision is driven by our selfish approach hence does not make us happy, which never brings happiness. Prof Martin saligman , who wrote book on positive psychology  . He did experiment . He gave student one day leave for watching movies and another day  for  helping street poor children . After 6 month - he asked his students – which event they remember – Profound answer was helping poor guy- he was surprised – when  student helped poor guys – that made more impact on them . Our brain get more satisfaction for helping other

When  we appreciate other  and subordinate feels happy – it  bring more energy and life within us . Happiness is viral factor . More happy people will create more happiness  in society .

We often see our colleague  bearing new shoes/shirts and new style - we must appreciate them . 

When we see our kid doing good job in grades - we must appreciate  them by hugging /calling them /sending some gift .

More we make people happy – our happiness will thrive . we are social animal . Most unhappy people are those who have all wealth and totally cut off from society.