Appraisal time again: Can it be more sweet, than sour?

It is that time of the year again. Appraisal time. It almost appears that other than the HR function, everyone would be happy without going through this experience. Indeed, does this have to be that painful a chore, for either side? Agreed, an assessment psyche has more the tinge of failure, anxiety and remorse but does it have to be all so negative? Maybe managers need to just try a different recipe!

It is thank you time: Remember that we are sitting to appraise someone who has worked for you for twelve months. The least way to start a conversation is to thank the person for choosing to be with you and to do whatever he did. This always works to put the appraisee at ease.

Possibly avoid a very formal setting: While this is not always practical, it again is a useful technique. Sitting across a table almost always to me signals a power distance. Sitting at a right angle or on a round table or even doing a conversation away from your typical meeting room is a useful relaxant and sets the stage for a more relaxed conversation, which helps ease defensiveness of the appraise.

Always begin with compliments: Unfortunately appraisals are seen by many as pure inquisition exercises. The reality is this is to take stock of how the year went. And one needs to be really terrible or unfortunate to have done nothing that would be useful. A positive start is very useful to help the other side understand that the manager is not there to be the hangman.

Let the appraisee speak in equal measure: Many appraisers choose to use this time to deliver sermons. This is so out of step with the purpose of a good appraisal conversation. Allow the person in front to share views on what went right and what could have gone better. A good manager will encourage reflection and introspection by the appraisee. That is the best way of building ownership, not a one sided preach session.

Learn the art of paraphrasing: Many times the choice of words or the tone of communication could misrepresent the intent. It is always useful to play back what your understanding of the message is. It could either confirm or clarify what really was meant. There is no point in assuming and later sorting out a much bigger misunderstanding.

Get comfortable having a difficult conversation: This is as much a reality of life and many managers fight shy of it. This is unacceptable. A good appraisal discussion has to be honest, howsoever, unpleasant it may seem. There is a need to call a spade. One must share feedback, if something was not done well enough.

More likely, there is a behavioural dysfunctionality that needs to be flagged. One must have done enough stakeholder conversations to know exactly what the issue is. The manager must not mince words but must not be insensitive in tone or pitch. Always look the person in the eye at this point. It conveys you are being deliberate and straight.

Remember how a good coach would speak to his players? Tough, straight but always forward looking. Giving specific examples is always useful. The appraisee can connect the feedback with the instance and finds it less subjective.

Allow for questions and clarifications: If the appraisee has questions, you must encourage them to be raised. It conveys that you are committed to a level-playing field. Some clarifications may be legitimate and gives you crucial data points. More importantly, that you heard him out is far more a signal of credibility. However, this is not a time for filibustering. If the appraisee continues indefinitely, politely but firmly put the issues to an end. Something like "I have heard you. I would stay with my inputs. Please reflect on them" typically works.

This is pure appraisee time: A good manager must ensure that there are no distractions as the meeting proceeds. Calls, even from a bigger boss, is not acceptable appraisal etiquette.

Communicate your decision firmly: As a manager you have the final responsibility of conveying the organisational decision. Typically, a bell curve is the reality of life from school days. Why should we suddenly baulk in our work life. You have to make your decision. You cannot pass the buck to someone else, and surely not hapless HR.

Thank and close: Politeness always helps, even for the "Hari Sadus". Thank the appraisee for putting together a summary, for the time for this conversation, for actively participating in the discussion and seeking the support for the next year. Try the recipe in your appraisal kitchen. The dish is bound to taste better.

(Prabir Jha is President & Group CHRO at Reliance Industries He writes and tweets extensively on Leadership, Career, Organizational Culture & Transformation. You could follow him @prabirjha).

This article was published in The Economic Times on 28 February 2014