IT Application Developers' Rules of IT Systems Architecture: Inspired by the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition are a collection of sacred business principles used by the ultra-capitalistic Ferengi race in the "Star Trek" universe. They're often cited by various Ferengi characters in different "Star Trek" series, especially by Quark in "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine."
Once you've deployed the code, you never roll it back. (Just kidding, always have a rollback strategy.)
Never spend more on a framework than you have to. Open source for the win!
Family or not, never let anyone merge without a code review.
Keep your log files open and your error messages verbose.
Opportunity plus a solid MVC pattern equals scalable software.
Documentation is eternal. (Until the next version release.)
A deal with a vendor is a deal until a more efficient cloud service comes along.
It never hurts to suck up to the system administrator.
Microservices are good for business. Monoliths are good for job security.
Cache like latinum. Treasure it.
Good programmers are as rare as comments in a minified JS file. Appreciate them.
The only true universal constant is SQL queries will somehow become more complex.
JSON today, YAML tomorrow. Flexibility in data formats is key.
Artificial Intelligence will replace all things, except a misplaced semicolon.
If you think it's time to refactor, it's already too late.
Never put business logic in the database. Unless it's a stored procedure, then maybe.
Hardware problems are always network issues, and network issues are always hardware problems.
Machine Learning is good for prediction; Human Learning is needed for understanding why.
An API endpoint is an endpoint until a new frontend requirement comes along.
Invest in quantum computing like it's a promising stock. It will either skyrocket your capabilities or remain an enigma.
A programmer without Stack Overflow is like a Ferengi without profit. Unthinkable.
Parallel processing is the path to power. Multi-threading is the path to madness.
The best code is self-documenting. The next best thing is... well-documented.
Never trust a developer who says, "It works on my machine."
A deadline is a deadline (until the next sprint).
Git Blame is a tool, not a weapon. Use it wisely.
Service-Oriented Architecture (SOA) is like a good meal. Easy to digest when properly divided.
When in doubt, cache it out. But remember, cache invalidation is one of the two hard things in computer science.
An algorithm in the lab is worth two in production. In other words, test thoroughly.
AI won't fix bad data. Garbage in, garbage out.
Always code as if the person who ends up maintaining your code is a violent psychopath who knows where you live. Because they might be.
- JSON is human-readable. Until it's not.
- The only thing worse than no comments in the code is wrong comments in the code.
- Machine Learning is as transparent as a black box wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma.
- To err is human; to debug, divine.
- If you're not breaking anything, you're not moving fast enough. But do test those breaks.
- If it's not on GitHub, it doesn't exist.
- The cloud is just someone else's computer. Choose wisely.
- Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway. (Thanks, Tanenbaum.)
- SQL or NoSQL? That is the database question.
- Always be yourself. Unless you can be a Python programmer. Then always be a Python programmer.
- If the requirements are unclear, the code will be too.
- Python is the new Latin. All languages are eventually translating to it.
- Artificial Intelligence will take over the world. But not today, it's stuck training the next model.
- The customer is always right. Except when it comes to tech specs.
- If you don't know what the code does, neither will the compiler, or the AI Prompt.
- A programmer's best friend is not a dog, but a well-defined API. But it is still a dog.
- When your code fails, just remember: it's not a bug, it's a 'feature'.
- Big Data isn't about the data size; it's about big headaches in data management.
- Your favorite language will be replaced. But not today.
- Klingon Rule of Programming #1:Code does not crash; it merely battles to the death.
- Holodeck Simulations for Testing: If it works there, it might work in production.
- Data's Rule: Emotion chips are optional, but empathy in UX design is mandatory.
- The Prime Directive of Coding: Do not interfere with the native functionality of legacy systems.
- Warp Speed is for Spaceships, not Development Cycles. Quality takes time.
- Klingon Rule of Programming #2: Debugging is a good day to die. Fight valiantly.
- Tribble-Driven Development: Avoid multiplying issues by addressing them promptly.
- Vulcan Logic in AI: It's only logical to use clean data and clear algorithms.
- The Borg Rule of Cloud Computing: Resistance to updates is futile.
- Scotty's Law of System Administration: Always overestimate your delivery time. That way, you can be a 'miracle worker.'
- Klingon Rule of Programming #3: Honor your ancestors' code but be ready to kill it when it's time to refactor.
- Transporter Protocols for Networking: Ensure seamless data transmission, but watch out for that pesky Heisenberg compensator.
- Picard's Rule of Leadership: Surround yourself with a diverse team for the best solution. Engage!
- The Ferengi Way of Tech Support: Outsourcing may lead to profit, but quality control is the key.
- Worf's Security Measures: Strong like Klingon armor, flexible enough for diplomatic missions.
- The Starfleet Guide to Open Source: Cooperation and collaboration lead to greater exploration and innovation.
- The Universal Translator for Programming Languages: Cross-language libraries, making the galaxy a smaller place.
- Klingon Rule of Programming #4: There is no honor in stealing code without giving credit.
- Quark's Guide to In-App Purchases: Exploit human emotion, but don't forget Rule #1: Always provide value.
- The Tricorder Principle: Always have the right tool for diagnostics.
- Kirk's Guide to Problem Solving: When logic fails, try an unorthodox approach. It usually works.
- The Temporal Prime Directive of Database Management: Ensure consistent data without time-travel paradoxes.
- The Romulan Way of Cybersecurity: Be ever-vigilant and trust no one.
- Spock's Law of Optimization: The needs of the many threads outweigh the needs of the single core.
- The Red Shirt Rule of Deployment: Someone's code has to go first. Make sure it's not yours!.
These rules should bring a smile to Star Trek fans and provide some insight into programming and IT concepts.?
Enjoy the journey through these star-studded software principles!
