Appearances and Feedback

I rarely talk about physical impressions or appearances other than body language however I was one of the Master of Ceremonies (MC) at a convention recently and I came home with a few key people skill reminders.

Some quick context for you:

When I MC I will dress according to the theme or to blend. Wearing according to the theme or a costume is obvious but to blend is a not so obvious strategy.

It was the annual Professional Speakers Australia (PSA) convention and I dressed from my 'professional and blend' section of the wardrobe. It's not something I spend ages thinking and strategising about, it's a quick yet deliberate decision.

So what?

1. I will always dress as professionally or more so than what is suggested for any convention and their attendees, even if they are a room full of my beloved peers, my mates.
2. When I dress to blend I do so so the attendees are even more focused on the speakers and the event rather than me. A great MC doesn't steal the limelight but rather help shine the light on the speakers, sponsors, (theme), client and attendees. Blend does not equal invisible, it contributes to a smooth and well run event. The visual element of an event is just as important as the seating, lighting, staging, food, swag bag, etc., and as the MC I have a role to play in making the visual right.

The 'people skills' gifts I received:

During the day lots of people told me how great I looked. Even more people told me how good a job I did. These people are my tribe so it was nice of them to say nice things about me.

• Flattery will get you ... - no, but my ego liked it. Praise will always be welcomed, how you deliver it is the key.
• The praise for how well I MC'd had a bigger impact on me than how I looked. I placed more importance on the performance than the appearance. To my way of thinking, I had appearance sorted long before the event started, therefore:
• Not everyone sees the same thing the same way: some noted appearance, some noted performance. Your people will have a different perspective than you, ask what their perspective is not just tell them yours.

One of the more experienced members of PSA told me what I was wearing was wrong for speaking. When I agreed and added that I wasn't speaking she invited me to explain what I meant.

• Stand out to speak and blend in to MC. As humans we will judge a book by its cover, judge people on first impressions, and that includes what they're wearing. It pays to think a little deeper about your clothing and appearance choice. Make your appearance match the impression you want to give.
• Growing up, Grandma insisted that I be dressed in my best if I was going to go into the city with her. That has always stayed with me when it comes to controlling the impression I want to give an audience.

No one asked me if they had my permission to give feedback on my appearance nor why I chose to wear what I wore.

• I loved the praise! I soaked it up! I'm human.
• These reflections only started to bubble up when I thought about the other / non-praise interactions from the event. And I thought about them a lot. Remember that what you say can have a lasting impression, make it a good one.
• As humans we will focus on the wrong, the less than, the missing piece, for a lot longer and maybe a lot deeper than the praise, the well done, the achievement. Don't be afraid to reinforce the praise and help the person move through the constructive feedback to a more positive situation [don't leave them sitting in the negative!].

This is a great reminder of how we need to consider our word choice, permission and the feedback we give to the people we work with.

When you are working with others:

1. Check that you have permission to give feedback.
2. Start with a question because the feedback you're about to give may not be necessary if you've got all the information.
3. Assess why you want to give the feedback: ask [and answer] yourself: who will it serve? and how will it be received, valued and implemented?

#Feedback #PeopleSkills #Communication #Success #DoNotJudgeABookByItsCover #Questions

For more on giving and receiving feedback, check Successful Feedback: the one simple formula for highly effective feedback.

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Sally Foley-Lewis works with Managers, Leaders, Team Leaders and Supervisors to help them master essential people management skills for increasing productivity of today's workforce.

She is a Speaker, Author and Mentor.

To book Sally for your meeting or conference: sally @ sallyfoleylewis.com or check sallyfoleylewis.com