Apology Rejected: Why It’s Time For HR To Stop Saying I’m Sorry
Ben Brooks
Founder & CEO, PILOT | Let’s Elevate Your Employee Development Together | Empowering Your Staff Through a Balanced, Innovative, Engaging, Metrics-Driven Program for Talent Development, DEI, and Retention
Each month I get to put pen to paper and encourage other HR professionals in my column for HR Executive Magazine. Recently, I felt inspired to urge our industry to put down their “sorry shields”.
For years, I was an over-apologizer. However, I’ve been learning just how much saying, “I’m sorry,” when we’re not can damage both our impact as HR professionals and our confidence in our jobs. I’ve come to notice that many of my colleagues in the Human Resources field seemingly share this same bad habit of leading with an apology when one isn’t even warranted. It happens in meetings when we’re bringing up ideas or asking questions, in emails when we need confirmation of status, when we need to give difficult feedback, and in countless other circumstances when we are just trying to do our damn jobs. Today, though, I’m here to assert that we are cheapening the HR function, holding back our own careers and severely limiting our impact with our insincere apologies.
So let’s all make a pact as professionals, to check our impulses to apologize when we don’t really mean it and to reject the unnecessary “sorry” statements from our colleagues.
Read my full article here.
Learning Strategist | Doctorate in Organization & Leadership | DoorDash
3 年The biggest key takeaway from your post that I resonate with is that intention matters. I have been reflecting on this too as I continue to lead with empathy AND reflect on how I show up in power dynamics (as I identify myself as a person of color, Latinx, and part of the LGBTQ+)... AND I've learned that I need to advocate for myself, and saying "sorry" does not help. Here are some of my practice: (1) knowing what I should and should not apologize for.. I ask myself, "what this out of my control?" if it was not out of my control, then no need to apologize. If it was in my control, then I apologize, but I am very intentional with my apology (e.g., I get specific and explain why) (2) getting comfortable with saying "no." This one is tough for me but I have learned that my energy and time matters too. I do not need to apologize for something that I can not do. (3) celebrating my mistakes... when someone calls me out on something that I have done — my immediate reaction is to apologize BUT I am changing this narrative by being grateful and learning from those mistakes. And learning to say thank you for my mistakes as they are an opportunity for growth. I hope this helps!
Owner, East Side Staffing: HR Recruiter specializing in the placement of experienced HR/People/ Talent Professionals
3 年Fantastic article, Ben! You’re such an extraordinary writer. Agree completely with your writing —it holds HR pros back on a personal and professional level. We need more confidence in the field, not less! Catching when we say Sorry is a perfect place to start.