Apologizing to Yourself: Letting Go of What You Didn’t Know

Hey, Gorgeous!

One of the hardest things I’ve had to do on my healing journey is to apologize to myself for what I didn’t know any better. The truth is, we’re all doing the best we can with what we know at the time. But sometimes, our lack of awareness or understanding affects not just us, but the people we encounter along the way. This doesn’t make you or me a bad person—it makes us human.

For years, I carried guilt for the things I didn’t get right, for the mistakes I made, and for the ways I unintentionally hurt others. I held on to that pain, letting it weigh me down, thinking that if I just kept moving forward, I could outrun it. But that’s not how healing works.

The reality is, when you keep going without being healed, those unaddressed wounds only grow deeper. They show up in how we treat ourselves, how we interact with others, and how we navigate the world. And while you can’t undo the past, you can make peace with it. You can apologize to yourself for the choices you made when you didn’t know any better.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Forgive Yourself: Stop holding on to the weight of what you didn’t do right. You can’t change the past, but you can acknowledge it and offer yourself grace. You deserve the same forgiveness that you would give to someone else.

2. Acknowledge the Impact: Yes, there may have been people who were affected by your actions, just as you were likely affected by theirs. That doesn’t make you a bad person. It means we’re all part of this messy, human experience of learning and growing together.

3. Healing Begins with Honesty: The only way to move forward is to be honest with yourself about where you are wounded. You can’t outrun the pain, but you can face it, heal from it, and make better choices moving forward.

4. Growth Happens in the Apology: Apologizing to yourself is powerful. It’s an act of self-compassion that allows you to release the shame and guilt that have been holding you back. It’s a way to tell yourself, “I am worthy of healing and moving on.”

We all make mistakes along the way. But the moment we stop punishing ourselves for what we didn’t know, we create space for healing. Healing allows us to break free from the cycle of carrying past pain into our future. And once you let go, you’ll find the strength to keep growing, to keep evolving, and to show up in the world as the best version of yourself.

It’s time to stop holding on to what you didn’t know, and start embracing the lessons that came with it. You are not defined by your past mistakes—you are defined by your willingness to heal and grow.