APOCALYPSE SCENARIO: The Pirates' Bible

Since the dawning of my religious education through the local community church, it has been beaten into my head- for lack of a better way to describe this lesson- that it is NOT, NEVER, NO MATTER WHAT: the first one that comes. IT'S A TRICK. EVERYBODY WILL FALL FOR IT. You have to hide. Head for the hills if you want to worship Jesus. No Bibles: illegal. One world nation. Do not believe, no matter what, in the one who comes first claiming to be Jesus. FALSE messiah. OK.

WHAT'S THE RAPTURE? One day you are going to wake up and people all over the Earth will be missing. If you aren't missing, you are fucked. That is, until your Lord and Savior ascends. Do your best to do your part. You will be saved.

PLOT- A filthy rich, sinister group [black market, world controlling-shot callers] has access to alien technology (...oh crap...I cut out the part of this essay that preps you for this part- hold on!!!), uses fear and murder to shape the world's disposition to the public, unbeknownst by the public or to the public. If I told you I had a credible source, [Dr. Steven Greer], as far as this concept deserves the light of day, you may be more inclined to hear me out.

Fake alien invasion takes over world. Sounds totally like some apocalyptic bullshit I can draw a parallel to my religion with.

The end days are a pretend alien takeover that fools everyone. I'm certain a being will hail as messiah. Then Jesus will have to come and kick his ass.


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