“Anytown, USA”

It’s taken me a few days to gather my thoughts, but after the countless work emails received this week starting with “hope you had a great 4th” it’s time.

Like many in my community, I was at the parade in Highland Park on Monday.?I am relatively one of the lucky ones – we were sitting ? way down the block ~175 ft from the shooter and not directly in the line of fire – all by happenstance.??Like many others, we had just finished the childrens’ bike parade and were excited for the main show that we had not had for a few years due to COVID.

About five minutes into the parade, as the vintage HP fire truck rolled by, I thought to myself – “Man, I live in small town America, Anytown USA” which came with a little smile and chuckle.?Less than 10 minutes later we heard the popping, and I found myself running for my life for the second time (I was in lower Manhattan on 9-11), this time with my wife and 7.5 yr old in tow.

I am devastated by the events of Monday, for my community, and this country.?I have been amazed and encouraged by the kindness shown and willingness to act over the past few days within HP and from our neighboring communities, and I know from past experience that things will get better in time – but “normal” will never be the same. ?

All week I have been asking myself the question, ”what have we come to as a country, as a society?”? It was not like this when I was a kid in the 80’s and 90’s and wish this was not what my children have to know – even the disturbing fact that my daughter knew herself before we said anything that after the loud noises, running meant there must be a gun.??

It’s such a regular occurrence now that we’ve all become desensitized to it.?2-3 days of news headlines and anyone not directly impacted moves on.?I myself am guilty of that.?But remember, we all live in Anytown, USA. ?While many not directly affected may have had a “great 4th,” the reality is that we as a people, as a country did not.??This could have easily been your 4th of July parade.

And as my emotions continually shuffle between sadness, disbelief, shock, fear (especially for my children), anger and guilt, I keep thinking to myself that there are things that could have been done that might have mitigated the shooting from even happening:

• I am not trying to be political, but no one should be able to legally own and purchase military grade assault rifles for civilian purposes / personal use.?That is not the intention of the second amendment (they didn’t exist then).??We need to change this as a nation, period. ?Can I go buy a battle tank at my local Ford dealership??Of course not.??
• Social media needs to be held accountable for not being more proactive to identify potential threats.??If there’s one thing Highland Park, Uvalde, Buffalo, and Waukesha have in common (just to name a few of the recent ones), it is that each of the killers had a trail on social media highlighting their intentions.?Social media knows everything about me, what I am thinking about (not even searching for) a new pair of shoes, what I ate for lunch, where I am– even my iPhone photo reel now tags my pictures into groups (food and drink, sunsets, etc..).?This is a simple algorithm and it should be a civic duty of all social media to identify something horrific like this before it happens.?If we can stop even one of these tragic events before it happens, it’s meaningful.?If you think it’s an invasion of privacy (which in some ways it is), don’t go on social media.??
• Background checks need to be tighter, and include social media.??One of the most frustrating things to me about what happened is that in no way ?the shooter should have been ever granted a FOID Card.??If someone is reported to authorities as “Clear and Present Danger,” how can they ever justify giving him a gun permit??To me that is no different than a parent buying a keg for underage kids and handing them their car keys.

These are just a few of what I think are important fixes.?I’m upset.?You should be too.?This has to stop.??We can’t just move on, things need to change – and we’ll all be better if we can make that change happen.?The lives lost in my community on Monday, in Uvalde, Buffalo and Waukesha cannot be for naught.?We owe that to those lost, their families and friends, and to each other.

As I start to begin the healing process – which does not happen overnight (21 years later there are still times I feel the impact of 9-11) – I want to leave you with another picture of the parade that is now incredibly hard to comprehend.?This is a picture of my wife and younger daughter taken six minutes before the shooting began.?Ironically my daughter is sending us all a message – of peace.?This is what a parade memory should have been, and hope will be one day again.??