Is Anyone Happy? Where Has Civility Gone?

One of the many conversations we have had around the office over the last 6 months or so has been the destruction of civility in our work environment today. Generally speaking, people are stressed, worried, frustrated, uncertain, and fearful for the future and what it holds. Here is the kicker, I am not just talking about employees, but employers too. Many people are feeling pressure when it comes to the economy and their future right now, especially at the start of the holiday season.

At its root, I believe, nobody seems to know when this economy will get better, nor are we entirely sure it is going to get worse. As a result, this uncertain time is clouding our judgements, mood, and interactions in our business. ?As a result, many of the conversations we are having on both sides of this employment equation are nasty, brutish, and short (a rip-off from a Thomas Hobbes quote).

A Message Received

A few weeks ago, I attended the Clearwater Mayor's YMCA Prayer Breakfast that featured a friend of mine, Dev Pathik with The Sports Facilities Companies, and something he said during that speech hit me hard. Without going into the specifics of his speech, he really hit home the choice we all have to love or hate. He is right. It is a choice, and it is ours to make. With such a lack of civility in the marketplace today, and with the sheer volume of these conversations, it has made it more challenging to stay positive and give people the benefit of the doubt. But it is a choice we need to make. To a certain extent I can better understand the anger or frustration from candidates looking for work and being in a tough spot, but not from professionals representing companies.

To be clear, I completely understand the frustration from both employees and employers. I get why their tempers may be flaring, I feel the pressure they are under because I am seeing my own costs rise and our own orders slow. I get it! For many of the small businesses we work with, we have been told that they are struggling as much as the employees to make sure they keep up with inflation.

How Do You Want To Be Remembered Professionally?

Nobody, it seems, is happy today. There is plenty of anger to go around on a wide variety of topics. But, I would be remiss if I did not ask the rhetorical question: How does being nasty benefit you? I realize for some people it may be a power trip. I realize others may just be having a bad day. Regardless, you will be remembered for those actions. While you may not care that you are remembered for being nasty today, that can easily change tomorrow.

I cannot count the number of times we have had a bad encounter with a person or employer only to have them contact us a few months down the road with no recollection of ever talking to us. But the person they spoke to on the other end of that phone or side of that desk will remember that interaction and it does have an impact. I have no doubt that you can ask just about any recruiter their favorite story around this topic and they will have one.

As we move through the holidays, we will frequently see stories about good people and good families who may be employed or struggling to find employment that will tug at our heart strings. For those of us who are employed, it is a moment to be thankful to be in the position we are in. But those stories should also be a reminder that there a plenty of people, businesses, or individuals, who are struggling today. They may not be in the best place mentally; they may not be in the best place financially. How we treat them matters.

If I have one prayer for the rest of this year and to start 2024, it is for everyone to take a deep breath, take a step back, and think about their own actions. Does being rude really help you today, tomorrow, or next week? Does being civil to another person hurt you? ?If you are condescending or mean, what does it really get you? A 10 second ego rush?

In the end, Dev is right, we all have a choice, we can love on one another, or we can continue to hate.? Hopefully in 2024 we can start practicing being nice to one another again. It's time.

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