Is Anybody Home?

?The older I get, the more I’ve come to believe that I should’ve joined the Army. Oh, I came close. How close you ask … sitting in the recruiter’s office with my father about to enlist close. Yeah, I was almost a done deal, but at the last minute, I decided I wanted to give that college thing a chance and the rest as they say is history.

But while I didn’t go military, two of siblings did including my brother Rodney. Rodney had always dreamed of being a soldier and shortly after finishing high school, he set out to make that dream a reality. The morning he was to depart, the family gathered for breakfast as my mother prepared a meal worthy of soldier’s sendoff. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage … if you can name it, chances are it graced our table that morning.

We had plenty of food, but we had even more love. With six kids and parents who were the true embodiment of being made for one another, smiles, good-hearted joking, and laughter were heard from one side of the table to the next. It truly was a special morning. Then, out of nowhere my father said, “well…” Well meant the moment we had all been dreading had arrived – it was time for Rodney to leave. So, with that, we hugged, kissed, and stood at the door watching as he and my father bounded down those four steps leading to our driveway. They got in the car and backed out to a chorus of tearful goodbyes as we stood waving until they were finally out of sight.

When they were gone, everyone went their separate ways to process what had just happened. He was the life of the house and no matter the situation – rain, shine or somewhere in between, his presence made it all feel better. Per my usual, I made my way to my mother’s room where she sat sobbing. I crawled up on the bed and leaned in close. I locked eyes with her and said, “I wish Rodney didn’t have to leave” to which she replied, “don’t say that baby.” For some reason I said it again at which time she wrapped her arms around me and began to gently rock back and forth.

Days turned into weeks and we began adjusting to his absence, but he was never far from our hearts. We dealt with whatever the day brought and did it with a smile because that’s what families do. Then one night as we were all sitting together watching television, out of nowhere a familiar voice yelled through the window, “is anybody home?” Before any of us could respond, Rodney was walking through the backdoor! Basic Training had ended, and he decided to come home to surprise his family and what a surprise it turned out to be. As long as I live, I’ll never forget my mother exploding off that sofa to greet him. In an instant her arms were lovingly wrapped around his neck, expressing love as only a mother could. It was one of the most beautiful sights my heart has ever seen. All was well, our brother was home.

***

Early Saturday morning, my brother Rodney finished Basic Training again. Yes, he tipped into Heaven, crept by the open window of my parent’s home as he did so many years ago and yelled, “is anybody home?” When I got the news, I imagined my mother bolting toward the door, embracing him the same way she did that night he paid us a surprise visit. It was special that night, but this time, I imagine it was even more special because this time … she never has to let him go. I see my father pulling the glasses off his head, fixing them to his eyes and saying, “I know this ain’t who I think it is…” before doubling over with laughter when he realizes it really is … who he thinks it is.

I wish you didn’t have to leave. I’ll miss calling and asking your opinion on this or that and you giving it to me with no filter in sight because in your words, “that’s what big brothers are supposed to do.” I’ll miss talking to you about football during the fall, but I’ll cherish the memories of us tossing a football back and forth whenever you made it to town. I wish you could’ve stopped by for dinner, but in all my years, I’ve never tasted any better than the ones you made for us after Mom got her wings and Daddy was wishing he had his too. And from this day forward, whenever I hear a motorcycle roar, I’ll close my eyes, smile as big as I know how, and imagine it’s yours.

I wish you didn’t have to leave, but when God says well …

So, rest peacefully big brother. I wish you could’ve stayed just a little longer as there was so much more that we all wanted to do. But now that you’re gone, I’ll find peace – the kind of peace that comes from knowing that until we meet again, there’s one more set of eyes watching over us. I’m sad, but I’m happy because I know in my heart … all is well …

My brother is home …