The Anxious Generation. HOW THE GREAT REWIRING OF CHILDHOOD IS CAUSING AN EPIDEMIC OF MENTAL ILLNESS

After more than a decade of stability or improvement, the mental health of adolescents plunged in the early 2010s. Rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicide rose sharply, more than doubling on many measures. Why?

In The Anxious Generation, social psychologist Jonathan Haidt lays out the facts about the epidemic of teen mental illness that hit many countries at the same time.

He then investigates the nature of childhood, including why children need play and independent exploration to mature into competent, thriving adults. Haidt shows how the “play-based childhood” began to decline in the 1980s, and how it was finally wiped out by the arrival of the “phone-based childhood” in the early 2010s.

He presents more than a dozen mechanisms by which this “great rewiring of childhood” has interfered with children’s social and neurological development, covering everything from sleep deprivation to attention fragmentation, addiction, loneliness, social contagion, social comparison, and perfectionism.

He explains why social media damages girls more than boys and why boys have been withdrawing from the real world into the virtual world, with disastrous consequences for themselves, their families, and their societies.

Most important, Haidt issues a clear call to action. He diagnoses the “collective action problems” that trap us, and then proposes four simple rules that might set us free. He describes steps that parents, teachers, schools, tech companies, and governments can take to end the epidemic of mental illness and restore a more humane childhood.

Haidt has spent his career speaking truth backed by data in the most difficult landscapes—communities polarized by politics and religion, campuses battling culture wars, and now the public health emergency faced by Gen Z. We cannot afford to ignore his findings about protecting our children—and ourselves—from the psychological damage of a phone-based life.

We need to institute 4 new norms:?

? No smartphones before 14

? No social media before 16.?

? Phone-free schools.

? More independence, free play, and responsibility in the real world.

?Download my free guide on Building Confidence to Saying ’No’ to Smartphones until 14 ?Tips and Scripts with things to say to your kids - when they say 'But everyone else has one!'

Delaying is NOT denying ??

Let’s Delay #TeensOnScreens

Are You A ‘Phubber?’ ??

The Phubbing Epidemic

I learnt a new word this morning??

The word “phubber” is used to describe a person who pays too much attention to their smartphone!

Phubbing, a contraction of the words “phone snubbing,” is the act of ignoring a person you’re with in favour of using your mobile phone!

Who knew? ??♀?

Are you a ‘phubber?’ ??

Are you ever guilty of ‘phubbing’ even for just a moment or two?

How does it make you feel if someone you’re with does it to you?

I know I get angry at being ignored – so what do you do if your kids are ‘phubbers?’

Here are a couple of questions to ‘pause to ponder’ ??

??Which times of the day are most important for our family to be device-free, such as during meals or before bedtime?

??How can we establish consistent routines and expectations around device-free times?

??How can we make meal times more fun & something we can all look forward to – chatting & connecting instead of just nagging about eating broccoli or getting off smartphones?

?? Eating together & chatting, laughing & listening is becoming a dying art yet simple conversations that revolve around personal wellbeing, emotions, and stories throughout the day nurture a child’s mental health, wellbeing, self esteem & feelings of belonging. A lot is happening when we put down our mobile phone & talk with ( not at) each other.

Undoubtedly, smartphones and social media are now necessary for us to go about our daily lives, but that doesn’t mean we need to be involved with them 24/7.

We just need to learn to separate ourselves from technology sometimes & model that for our kids don’t we?

How do you handle phones at the table?

Download my free guide around Tips and Scripts to help you start those tricky conversations with your kids around smartphones

Turn Off - Tune In - Unplug

If you decided to run a Marathon you wouldn’t just put on your trainers & run 26 miles would you?

You’d train. You’d plan. You’d build up slowly.

The same applies to incrementally turning off your mobile phone.

If we stop to think about what we look at most during the day, the answer would probably not be our family or friends, television or books.

It’s our phone.

The use of mobile phones has been growing exponentially in recent years, especially after the emergence of smart devices.

Smartphones are now our constant companions for work, social, leisure and even family life.

But excessive use can lead to problems of dependence, addiction and fear.

Have you ever lost your phone or couldn’t find it for 5 minutes & felt panicky? I know I have.

That small device forms a large part of our lives with work emails, instant messages, social networks or videos on demand.

In extreme cases, it can lead to what is known as "nomophobia", a disorder that experts have described as the disease of the 21st century.

NOMOPHOBIA

Nomophobia represents the irrational fear of being without a mobile phone.

The term was coined in 2009 in the UK and comes from the anglicism "nomophobia" ("no-mobile-phone-phobia").

The dependence on the electronic device causes an unfounded sense of panic in the user who doesn’t have the device, either because they have left it at home, the battery has run out or they are out of range.

A YouGov Real Time study in 2019 found that 44% of Britons surveyed were anxious if they couldn’t use their mobile phone to "keep in touch" with their circle.

Anyone can suffer from nomophobia. However, this disorder tends to affect adolescents the most, with the 14-16 age group being the most prevalent.

Younger generations are more at risk of becoming nomophobic for two reasons: they feel a strong need to be accepted by others and they are more familiar with new technologies than older people.

Adam Alter, a psychologist at New York University, has extensively researched the impact of nomophobia on teenagers. The author of Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked conducted a study in 2017 in which he asked a sample of these young people whether they would rather see their mobile phone fall and break into a million pieces or break a bone in their hand. Adam Alter found that older participants prioritised their health over replaceable comfort??

In contrast, around 40 to 50 per cent of the teenagers preferred breaking their bones to having their mobile phone broken. In addition, Alter observed that these young people asked questions such as which hand would be affected by the injury or whether they could continue to use the phone and scroll with the broken bone??

So, armed with another new word I started pondering how about turning off and tuning in to real life but doing it incrementally?

How about switching off your phone on a Sunday for an hour or two as it’s not a working day?

How would that feel?

Or how about leaving your phone behind when you go to the park with your kids, pop into the supermarket to pick up a loaf of bread or take the dog out for a walk?

Short bursts of being disconnected.

Cold turkey in bite sized intermittent moments.

If we feel like this - how do our kids feel brought up on a diet of constant connection?

To help them how about making a ‘I’m Bored Jar’ or a ‘Turn Off - Tune In’ Jar or a ‘Switch Off Sunday’ Jar or a whatever you’d like to call it in your house Jar?

Find a lovely jam jar and decorate it with glitter and other crafty things and then get your kids to write on some slips of paper lots of fun, simple, inexpensive ideas for things to do to pop into the jar.

So when they moan. ‘I’m bored’ they can pick out something from their jar and voila – they have something to do, make or play - that’s a pleasant alternative to using their phone. ??

You can include – building a den, going to the library, playing badminton in the garden, go mini beast hunting, painting a rainbow, planting potatoes in the garden, jumping on the trampoline, going for a bike ride, having a picnic in the park, baking biscuits, playing with Lego, reading a book, climbing a tree, making up a puppet play, making an obstacle course, feeding the ducks, to walking the dog.

You get the idea!

So it makes coming off devices fun not a punishment ??

As with all addictions, prevention is the key.

There are some simple actions to prevent excessive use of mobile phones from leading to extreme dependence them.

Among the most effective are:

???Uninstall some applications that you consider to be time-wasters such as games.

??Don’t use phones at mealtimes.

??Mute notifications. ?Set specific times to check your phone and increase the time gaps ??Never look at it if we you are chatting, eating, sharing leisure time with other people ( remember phubbing?) ? Don’t use it as an alarm clock, as it can interfere with your sleep cycle. ?? Keep it out of the bedroom.

?? Go out without a mobile for short periods

?It is essential that we accept that we shouldn’t have our mobile phones at our disposal at all times and that we create our own commitment to the healthy use of technology

Download my TIPS AND SCRIPTS: BUILDING CONFIDENCE IN SAYING ‘NO’ TO SMARTPHONES UNTIL AGED 14 ??

Check out World Digital Detox Day

Before Giving Your Kids A Smartphone Ask Yourself These Questions

Giving a child a smartphone without guidance is like giving them the keys to a 4×4 without teaching them how to drive – it can lead to terrible accidents and enormous dangers on their digital journey??

97% of 12 year olds now have access to a smartphone and 45% are online ”almost constantly”

So the task for parents is to move from a mindset of ”protect” to one of ”prepare”

Through research we’ve learned that relevant, regular, consistent conversation, adds an extra layer of protection around your kids online and taking the time to?understand (not just monitor) the ways your kids use new apps, is the best way to equip them for digital life.

Here are some questions to ponder:

?? Is my child mature enough to handle the responsibility of having a smartphone?

?? Have we discussed and established clear rules and boundaries around smartphone usage?

?? Am I prepared to actively monitor and supervise my child’s online activities?

?? Have I educated my child about the potential dangers and risks associated with smartphone use?

?? Do I have the necessary tools and resources to implement parental controls and restrictions on the smartphone?

?? Is my child emotionally ready to navigate social interactions and digital communication platforms?

?? Am I willing to have open and ongoing conversations with my child about their experiences and challenges with the smartphone?

?? Have I considered alternative options or compromises, such as a basic phone with limited capabilities, before giving them a smartphone?

?? Do I have a plan in place for managing screen time and ensuring that my child maintains a healthy balance between online and offline activities?

?? Am I ready to lead by example and demonstrate responsible smartphone use to my child?

It’s hard resisting ‘Pester Power’ around giving in to giving your child a smartphone because ‘everyone else has one’ but our job is to be our child’s parent – not their friend! We know the dangers as well as the benefits to having a smartphone.

So don’t give in too early or too easily.

Delay #TeensOnScreens until 14

Delay Social Media until 16

Nurture your screen free relationships – have fun, connect, chat & prepare your child for this important milestone in their life.

Download my free guide about how to handle what to say here

Navigating the Digital Jungle with Sue Atkins and Friends Podcast ??? ?? ??

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?? Dive into the complexities of raising tech-savvy kids with my new podcast series!

?Join us as we explore the challenges parents face in the digital age and uncover strategies for navigating the ever-changing landscape of online safety, screen time management, and digital literacy.

?Hear from fellow parents as they share their experiences, concerns, and insights on raising children in today's digital jungle.

?Stay tuned for expert advice, real-life stories, and practical tips to help you guide your family through the digital wilderness.

?Don't miss out on essential conversations to empower your parenting journey in the digital era! ???? #DigitalParenting #OnlineSafety #TechKids #DigitalJungle

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