Anxiety is a work in progress

As someone who has dealt with anxiety for the majority of my life, I have had to address feelings of anxiety for the entirety of my professional career. It has kept quiet in some instances, but in others, it has screamed like a freshly dug Mandrake. Professional anxiety can make someone sharper and more committed to being their best. Still, it can also make them question every decision and be paranoid because of the inability to read people or assess fluid situations fully.?

I can highlight enough situations on both sides to fill volumes, as well as times when I allowed my anxiety to control my narrative and make me a better person in a professional setting but a worse one in a personal one. Being a workaholic is undoubtedly a characteristic that many with anxiety can manifest as a way to cover up that lingering feeling of inadequacy, but let’s be honest, that doesn’t work for long, nor is it even that successful.?

My anxiety has led to situations that resulted in less-than-ideal outcomes for myself, including losing roles where I was not at my best because of anxious feelings. It has also caused me to wallow in self-pity when these situations arise because one of the key things my anxiety craves is positive recognition. Positive recognition from those in roles superior to mine, as well as positive recognition from those who, my brain says, are “important.” Letting those people down is like stubbing my anxiety’s toe on the door. It is a pain that causes it to spiral and question everything that led to the outcome to help them rationalize things.?

It also doesn’t help most people’s anxieties that the place they have to see a lot of their validation from–their job– doesn’t always prioritize their mental health. It hasn't been part of their workplace strategy for almost all the business entities I have worked for. It’s not their fault. Until the past few years, it hasn’t been necessary to account for employee’s mental health when determining how to achieve success metrics. It took a global pandemic coupled with some needed reevaluations about culture generally for many to refocus on both the physical health of their employees as well as their mental health. Few are doing a great job, and more are doing an okay job, but most still fall into a generally poor response to the mental health needs of their employees. It will ultimately take many completely restructuring themselves to enact change, so we shouldn’t hold our collective breaths.?

To be truthful, for a lot of my adult life, I have not put the time, effort, and focus into taking care of my mental health in a meaningful or effective way. That lack of self-care has undoubtedly hurt me, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. While our employers and others need to do more to support mental health needs, WE all have to take responsibility for seeking help when needed and keep at it even when the road is tough. I can’t say that anxiety magically disappears after a set period, but it does get easier with support. While work environments need to evolve to meet the needs of their employees where they are, we, too, must continue to break down societal stigmas that say we shouldn’t be honest about the challenges we are all facing. If I weren’t willing to be honest about my struggles with mental health,? I wouldn’t have written this post, nor would I be as focused on what I can do to improve my mental health for myself, my family, and my future employer.?