Anxiety Is Our Problem.

Imagine, you've never walked a tightrope before.

You've seen it done, you understand, you just walk along that wire, but you've never tried it before. This wire, is 40 storeys up in the air. Suspended between two buildings.

The wind is blowing. Even though it’s a 'tight' rope, the wire still moves with the wind. You look down, and the worst that can happen if you fall off this wire; is that you plummet to your death. A long, long way down.

You are anxious. Anxiety levels are very, very high.

No one would consider this to be irrational.

If we add a safety net, a foam pit to fall into, and move the same rope to only a metre off the ground, those feelings of anxiety give way to nervousness. Certainly, it will be a challenge to walk this rope, but if you fall, you will be caught. You will be ok. You can try again, no harm done. You can practice until you are better, until you’ve mastered it, supported the whole way.

We live in a world where the worst that can happen, is that you can fall to rock bottom. Despite every advantage; technological, medical and economic that we have from the last hundred years, and the rope is still pulled tight across 70 storey buildings for many of us.

You can still be homeless, economically ruined, hungry, cold, unwashed. Your illnesses can be left untreated. You can be left isolated, with little to no human contact.

How it is possible, in this incredible age of human achievement, is beyond me. All of these advantages, all of these ‘advancements’ and we still have people dying of hunger, disease and living in squalor the world over.

People say that safety nets prevent people from trying. That raising the 'worst that can happen' encourages laziness. That people won't want to contribute if they know they don't have to. These same people argue that executives need huge, positive bonuses to incentivise them to do their best. Arguing for the carrot for them, and the stick for others.

We wonder why people are anxious.

People are anxious because everyone is aware of the worst that can happen. We are not nurturing one another. We are not guaranteeing that everyone will be looked after regardless. We are not ensuring that people get the help that they need, when they need it, for as long as they need it. We are demanding that people walk that tightrope, and we’re blaming them for falling off.

Support encourages risk, it provides space to develop into, and opportunities to become better. If you want to build better people, more skills and cutting-edge outcomes, you have to build it step-by-step, from the ground up.

We are anxious because living without a safety net creates anxiety.

We are anxious because the illusion of connection is actually demanding that we are each available to one another, through our phones and the internet, 24/7.

We need to introduce ‘no-phone’ times, because we are at the beck and call of other people’s demands on our time. How often have you heard; 'you should have messaged me back sooner', 'why didn't you answer my call’ and felt pressured to be available more and more?

We have to introduce meditation into our days, because culture and economic pressures demand constant forward motion lest it all falls apart.

External demands on our time, focus and energy abound, demands that are not productive or fulfilling. We are anxious because we can see that if we cannot tread water any longer, we will drown.

Demands and expectation are not connection. Understanding is connection, space and love is connection, support is connection.

We are anxious because we have traded expertise for attention. More attention = more influence, regardless of how you come to get attention in the first place. It is not enough to invest time, energy and application, our culture values the number of eyeballs you can attract far more than the amount of expertise you have.

We are anxious because the measures of success, failure and survival are dominated by the dollar. Economic output trumps environmental stewardship. GDP trumps the health, wellbeing and happiness of our countries. Wages trump excellence and contribution. Turnover beats creativity.

Get paid more, buy more, have more... But save the environment while you're at it, never mind the fact that to win, you need more stuff, new stuff, fancier stuff.

Run out of money? Congratulations, if the people around you are unable to pick up the slack, you are now homeless, hungry, sick and alone.

Anxiety is not your responsibility. It is our responsibility.

We need to do better, More support, more space, more equality of opportunity. More connection, more safety, less chance of abject failure. More understanding, more care.

We need to value contribution, effort, intelligence, hard-work, love, expertise. We need to laud those who we wish to emulate, not simply those adept at flashing shiny objects past our eyeballs and getting our attention.

We need to support those who fail and help them learn. We need to change our definitions of success, and help others live into those definitions.

It is little wonder that we are anxious.

We can be better, and we must.

Anxiety is our responsibility.

If you'd like to make 2020 the year where your impact is amplified and those who need help for any reason get it, don't hesitate to get in touch. Or support the Just Be Nice Project for the long-term here. In the meantime, consider making and extra effort to look after your family, friends, neighbours and those you interact with every day.