Anxiety, Depression, and Working Moms in a Pandemic

“I don’t know how you do it.” Whether it comes at the start of a videoconference or a call, this is one of the most frequent comments I hear from clients, colleagues, and even friends these days as we’re doing our usual pre-meeting check ins.

The statement always surprises me. I am the mom of three girls: the oldest is twelve; the youngest is four years old. When I hear “I don’t know how you do it,” my answer is “I don’t!” — at least not perfectly and sometimes not even well.

I’ve come to believe that the difference between going to bed feeling content or disappointed at the end of the day has a lot to do with the expectations we set for ourselves. Let’s lower our standards. Better yet: Let’s use this moment to shift them to something more reasonable.

Here is how I’ve done it, by focusing on four simple principles.

• Go for happy, not perfect.

Instead of aiming for perfection, we need to aim for happiness. I remind myself that this its ok if not everything is perfect and if I take more time to finish some tasks. Its ok if am late to a meeting because am dropping my kids to her gymnastic class and its totally fine if cancel one playdate because of urgent meeting came up.

• Release yourself from guilt.

Instead of calling your self the worst mom because you were not able to play with your son/daughter, think that am human! There are millions of working moms who try to be the best parent possible. It's not easy to always be the best version of yourself when you're stressed and tired.

• Change way of thinking

I am a bad mam because I leave my kids to go to my work but the reality is am trying to teach my girls a very important lesson about understanding how to strike a balance between your personal and career ambitions – at a crucial moment of a woman’s life. I feel so proud when I hear my daughters saying “We want to be like you when we grow up”

• Find time for laughter.

Despite all the negativity in the today’s news, it shouldn’t take much to find something to laugh at, (my daughter painting on my face instead of canvas while am on zoom call!)

So many situations are out of our control. But we do have choices about how we approach each day and the expectations we set for ourselves.

About me: I'm a mom of three. I’ve been working at AWRostamani since 2013, leading the Talent Development division across the group, When I'm not working, I'm either spending time with family, and do exercise and hang out with my kids.