Answering the Call

Over the weekend, I felt like I was imploding. It was the worst I’ve felt in a long time. My chest felt tight, I was restless, and I couldn’t control my thoughts. This is rare for me, as someone who spends a lot of time working on their wellbeing.

What caused it? A mix of things not going well that I won’t dive into... But at the core, I realised it’s wasn’t the challenges themselves. I’d had a few big weeks of keynotes and workshops with clients, which give me a real high (if you’re keen for a sneak peek, check out this reel ). Yet I hit a low when I returned home. And the things I had control over were where I was really struggling.

So what do you do when tough feelings show up?

I’m not sharing this for sympathy, because I know many of us have been there. And I have accepted that struggle is normal - a part of thriving.

But what I’ve learned is that we have to pay attention when tough feelings show up. ? ? ? ?Dr. Michelle McQuaid suggests we can think of emotions like an old-fashioned phone (remember the ones without voicemail or answering machines). They used to ring and ring until someone picked up. And that’s what our emotions do - they won’t stop until we acknowledge them. Both the negative and positive. They shouldn’t be considered as good or bad but as data points, giving us information about what’s going on and what we might need at that time. We can’t ignore them or hope that someone else will deal with them. And distracting ourselves with social media, food, TV or online shopping won’t help in the long run.

How do you check-in on your wellbeing?

One of the most helpful things I’ve learned over the years is to figure out what I need to feel good and function well. There are the basics – eat well, sleep well, move well – but they’re not enough. For me, it’s about smiling or laughing (even if it’s just at a ?funny meme), connecting with others, doing challenging work, using my strengths, aligning with my purpose, and making progress towards my goals. And that’s some of what I did on the weekend to reset.

If you’re unsure what your indicators are, wellbeing frameworks like PERMAH can offer insight. PERMAH breaks wellbeing into six pillars: Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Accomplishment, and Health. It helps you assess what ingredients you need to be at your best, based on what works for others.

This framework resonates deeply with me. I’ve reached a point where I can check-in with myself daily using PERMAH to figure out what’s going well and what’s out of balance.

It can help to think of our wellbeing like a car’s dashboard - there are multiple gauges and signals telling us if something isn’t right, needs attention, or is breaking down. Whether it’s the fuel gauge running low, a flat tyre warning, or a reminder for an overdue service, all these components are essential for the car (and for us) to run smoothly.

Are you checking in with yourself?

As we approach R U OK?Day, it’s important to check-in with others. Ask the simple question: “How are you?” and, if appropriate, “What do you need right now?”

But don’t forget to check in with yourself regularly too. Are you answering the calls your emotions are making? What’s your dashboard telling you? And how can you prioritise those needs?

In my workshops, we always start with a wellbeing check-in. We’ll be doing the same in my Masterclass happening this Thursday. It’s a way to assess how people are feeling - from burning out to thriving. Because how they’re showing up impacts not only them but also those around them as we’re all part of the same system. This isn’t just about prioritising wellbeing for the sake of our businesses, but when we’re working in high-pressure, fast-changing environments, we perform better when we’re well. And focusing on these factors leads us to long-term, sustainable success.

So, how are you feeling right now? And what is your response suggesting you need?