The Answer is No: A Professional Poem

Helping is in my nature, I enjoy putting others first.

My parents taught selflessness early on, and sometimes it's the worst.

When someone needs something, I'm the first to volunteer.

It's like I have some sixth sense, unlimited time, funds, or two bionic ears.

Then, the cycle begins - I tend to go overboard, proving my worth;

look at me - the best teacher, employee, friend, aunt, or colleague since birth.

I'll connect you to my network, discuss your career goals, or the like.

For me, saying "yes" to requests is as easy as riding a bike.

10 minutes reviewing a resume, 20 minutes talking on Zoom;

an hour picking up the pieces when a life plan goes kaboom.

I never thought twice about it - focusing on other people's needs;

Until I left my job, experienced trauma, and suddenly couldn't sift through the weeds.

I realized I didn't know how to help myself, because I had nothing left;

giving too much to others all these years left me listless and bereft.

So how do I change? How do I start focusing on me?

I took some time to think and suddenly, I could see.

I started saying no and set boundaries; it felt really good;

Soon came "I can't", "I won't", and no more "I should."

The result was unpleasant, and downright scary;

Friends who used to take advantage thought "What happened to Kerry?"

Professionally and socially, I used phrases that changed the game;

"I'm not in a position to", "I can't take less than" and "I'm not to blame".

My brain started changing; I felt like a new person.

I started to gain confidence that life wouldn't worsen.

The takeaway points are simple, so go get a pen;

I'm not sure I'll have the opportunity to say this in a poem again.

Put your needs first, and stand up for what's right.

If you have no energy left for the things you want, you've lost the fight.

And if you're reading this piece as the asker - needing from someone;

do not get angry if that person is suddenly done.

It's usually not because they are mean, selfish, or unkind;

it just means they are temporarily unable to continue the grind.

Respect the walls they've put up, and remember that reciprocity is key.

If they do want to help, return the favor for some mutual glee.