The Answer to Alienation and Isolation
Do you ever feel isolated and cut off from the rest of the world? Do you ever have the feeling that the people around you don’t really understand you? Do you ever wonder why no one seems to know who you are? Why they don’t appreciate how you really feel and what’s in your heart?
If you answered ‘Yes’ to any of these questions, don’t worry. You’re not alone. It seems that pretty much everyone experiences these feelings today. It’s partly a product of the way we live - but it isn’t a new phenomenon. The recent months of confinement and social distancing have certainly exacerbated the problem. Yet, feelings of isolation have been a characteristic of urban life for a long time. The problem is that more and more people are being affected by this condition and that more and more people are experiencing a disturbing level of alienation. What is the source of this strange sense of separation from everyone else? And what we can do to make things better?
We are living in dystopia, in a world that is dominated by technology and disconnect, alienation, loneliness, and dysfunction.
-??????Steven Wilson
In one sense, we can attribute some of the problems to the modern obsession with social media. We’ve become accustomed to expressing ourselves in a strangely superficial manner, one that substitutes memes and emojis for meaningful conversation. In many ways, we can see the results of losing the immediacy of speech. We’re not as adept at listening as we used to be. Our attention span has shrunk dramatically. We miss all the clues that used to signal how someone was really feeling. We don’t feel as confident in our ability to connect with others. Social media add a layer of impersonality between individuals that offers instant communication but at the shallowest possible level of connection.
Behind the masks of total choice, different forms of the same alienation confront each other every day.
- Guy Debord
Another aspect of the modern descent into alienation and separation can be found in the roles that we are taught to perform throughout our lives. This could perhaps be described as social conditioning and it’s the well-recognised pathway that everyone follows from early childhood, the inevitable route to becoming socially acceptable. It’s the toolkit of behaviours that enables us to function more or less successfully as students, employees, parents, managers and friends. Yet, we should grant ourselves the freedom to question whether these roles are sufficient. Are they really enough to describe who we really are?
We live in a time where there's an alienation factor. There's a certain disconnection.
We don't have any real sense of community anymore.
-??????Alan Ball
The daily news doesn’t help much either. The revolving round of stories that emphasise the problems that beset the global community and the planet we share reinforce the sense of helplessness that underlies our feelings of alienation. The belief that we can’t make a difference to our own lives - or to the lives of others – feeds into our sense of helplessness. And this needs to change. Today. Right now.
One of the strongest responses to this pervasive sense of alienation and isolation is to discover more of who we really are.
This is a perfect moment to call into question all the roles we play every hour of every day and see what happens when we resolve to free ourselves from these layers of conditioned behaviour.
It’s a moment when we can breathe more easily and begin to accept that who we are at this moment is already enough. It’s a moment of extraordinary empowerment when we accept that we really don’t have to pretend anymore. It’s a moment of self-acceptance where we can be comfortable with who we are. It’s a state of mind where we can learn to accept that our authentic self is all we need in order to express ourselves.
This breakthrough represents a profound moment of personal freedom. As we connect to who we really are, it becomes easier to connect to others. This doesn’t mean that we should all immediately abandon our precious social media. It means that we no longer use social media as a substitute for the deeper connections that make life such a richer and more rewarding experience.
I used to think that the feeling of alienation that I would have was just me, but I realise that it's also a symptom of the modern world.
-??????Hilton Als
Being connected to others reveals our natural instinct for co-operation. We thrive when we’re connected to others and when we express concern for their welfare, happiness and wellbeing. It’s part of our heritage as humans. When we extend our concern for others and seek ways to understand their lives and circumstances, we discover our own lives from a fresh perspective. We experience commonality. We experience the humanity that we all share, even when our viewpoints differ. This sense of connection dissolves the illusion of isolation and opens our hearts to a new sense of belonging.
As we develop our ability to listen and understand others, we develop our ability to understand ourselves. We feel empowered because we’ve taken steps to change the way we see the world and the way we interact with its citizens. Setting ourselves free from the roles we’ve played allows us to choose more appropriately for ourselves. We appreciate that our destiny lies in our own hands and that the demands that our roles have called upon us to fulfil no longer apply. We are free to choose according to the subtle voice of our true selves, to hear the gentle words that seek no harm for ourselves or others. This is a pathway to personal freedom, empowerment, self-fulfillment and, most interestingly, a better world for everyone to share.
All separation, every kind of estrangement and alienation is false.
All is one
-??????Sri Nissargadatta Maharaj
Are you ready right now for a completely fresh approach to life’s great adventure? Get in touch with us today for a free session to discover how the growing global movement for personal growth, success, change and empowerment can enhance your life!
Greg Parry created The Wellness Foundation and the Cognitive Empowerment Programs specifically to help people master their stress, overcome their limitations and explore the power of their true potential.
If you enjoy these blogs, you can imagine how much fun it is to have Greg in the room as an inspirational and highly perceptive speaker. If you’d like to invite Greg to talk to your company or organisation or event, feel free to get in touch.
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