Another Life Stage

He left home yesterday.?

A new chapter begins. Another life stage.?

Another new normal beckons.?

He's moved just 40 minutes down the road.?

It feels way too far.?

It’s just down the road.?

I bought him tea towels in Asda and nearly cried knowing I was going to move him into uni. Tea towels!! Like he’s ever going to use a sodding tea towel.?

I cruised the aisles of Home Bargainos finding all the essentials for university life; the pot noodles, the super noodles, the cereals. The beige.?

We packed on Saturday morning; packing away his life in Manchester just for a bit.?

When his mates bobbed in to say goodbye, watching him pack, arranging nights out to come and they hugged and said ta ra, my eyes had already started leaking.?

We chatted as we loaded the car ready to greet his new adventures.?

The car loaded with promise, opportunity, fun and nerves.?

He asked me to make his bed for him. I did it without telling him it was time he did it himself. These mum acts of making sure their bed is made on their first official night living away from home feel so significant.?I made his bed in his bedroom managing to hold it all together. Just.?

I may have added a few home touches that may not be remembered.?

When we said goodbye and left him in Leeds to start his new adventures, it broke me a bit. Emotions wrapped up in joy, pride and waving goodbye.?

Hoping he makes friends, washes his pots and actually eats. Knowing he is about to embark on some of his biggest adventures of independence and learning.?

Knowing this is his path to take now.?

Sitting here today making a roast for three, setting a place for three just doesn’t feel right. There’s something missing. (And it’s not the Yorkshire Puds.)?

And then having a word with myself because he was rarely here anyway.?

Loving the text from him telling me how much he is loving his independence, wandering round a new city, finding him.?

Sitting at home with a brew wondering what he’s up to.?

I never found the chapter in the parenting manual on how to let them go, how to let them make their own decisions, how to deal with all the emotions of being a parent.?

Well, let’s be honest, I never found the parenting manual.?

His room feels so empty. And is still a complete pit.?

The house aches for his noise.?

I miss the trainers in the hall. ?

I miss the sunshine he brings with him.?

I’m more happy than mad Jack McHappy that he’s getting to experience university life.?

I’m excited for all the adventures he has ahead of him.?

I love how he loves life (even when he decides to go to Ibiza for one sodding night in the middle of Fresher’s Week).

I’d also like to wrap him up in bubble wrap to protect him and keep him safe.?

I’ll never stop saying ‘be safe, I love you, have fun’

I’ll not stop texting him good night.?

It’s breaking me watching him go.?

It makes me so proud watching him grow.?

And I remind myself that I’ve been here before.?

I remind myself that the bonds we have only grow stronger.?

And that he’ll be back (because United is playing at home next weekend.)?

Mumming never really gets any easier. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.?

?

Turns out you never stop wanting to bubble wrap them. Turns out it is possible to cry when buying tea towels in Asda.?

Time to Crack On (again).?