Another Excerpt From My Juke-Box Play, Perdition Rhapsody

This is a scene from Perdition Rhapsody where Judge Millan, Darius, and Lorne (Darius’ bud from Special Forces) get together at the Millan’s home to celebrate Hazel Millan’s 60th birthday. Lorne has all the prerecorded music set up; he has with him a slide electric guitar, and two microphones, while Darius has his bass.?Hazel is not at home, but the judge is curious as to what the boys have put together to perform for his wife’s birthday. They are all gathered in the living room. Incidentally, it is a testament of love for Hazel for father and son to put their differences aside….

Judge: Can I have a taste of what you boys put together?

Darius: With all due respect, dad, be patient. We have it covered. We want you to be as surprised as mom is going to be -- hopefully, pleasantly so. We even have a present for her (Darius points to a plastic bag in the corner) Where is mom, anyway?

Judge: The ladies at the church are throwing her a little e party, then she’s coming home for supposedly a quite dinner with me.

Lorne: Mr. M, we put something good together-nice, uplifting, spiritual lyrics, Pentecostal Jesus praising music, mostly courtesy of your son (looking at Darius)

Judge: Ok then, let’s sit down and enjoy a drink or two till she comes.?They follow the judge to the bar area. Judge goes to the cabinet, takes down three drinking glasses, and gives one each to Darius and Lorne. You guys still sing the same cadence when you were doing PT (physical training) like when I was in the Army?

Lorne: what you mean (Lorne starts singing the Army Cadence): like C130 heading down the strip, airborne daddy on a one-way trip (everyone now joins in the cadence), mission untold, destination unknown, we don’t give a damn if ever come back home.…

Judge smiles, enjoying the bond among the ex-soldiers borne of singing the Army Cadence…

Judge: Nothing never change. By the way, the mark of man, husband is that he controls the television remote in his humble abode…. (Darius and Lorne laugh) But I have to tell you/ fess up that I don’t control it in my own bedroom. Your mother (looking directly at Darius) has the TV programmed to all those victim’s channels….

Lorne and Darius are laughing and curious

Lorne: MR. M, victim’s channels?

Darius: Yes, dad, what is that…?

Judge: You know -- Lifetime, Oxygen, Women Entertainment --WE-- they play all those movies that just kill us, men. Anything that’s negative about men… you see on those channels. Take the movie Fatal Attraction, they want you to concentrate on the bad man cheating on his wife, but not about that crazy bi-atch who boiled the rabbit, who since childhood should have been hooked up to jumper cables; look at the Burning Bed movie, where this woman burns her abusive husband, while he’s sleeping. Hell, the flagship movie for all these men-hating channels is Thelma & Louise. Both Darius and Lorne are laughing louder now. You believe that shit, Thelma and Louise killed themselves at the end of that movie-that feminist bull... You notice how they were carrying on over Brad Pitt, going “goo-goo gogga,” yet later in the movie portraying themselves as this feminist, female version of Butch and Sundance.?Simply put gentlemen, Oprah must die!

All three toasting and are laughing….

Lorne: Mr. M, I never get over the fact that you’re so funny.…

Judge: What did you think of me before (Judge with a coy smile looks at Darius) Guys, when you were in the service, did you guys still maintain the tradition of “cracking” on people, without any of this political correctness nonsense they have now-a-days?

Darius: Yes, we do/did, mostly on ourselves, though, dad….

Judge: Let’s do it, who is going first?

Darius: It is your humble abode, dad -- you go first….

Lorne: I agree. You get first dibs, Mr. M.

Judge: Alrighty then. Katie Touric it is. What a fake phony bitch! Darius and Lorne are dying with laughter, without the judge starting. Judge continues: That shite-eating, fake smile, accepting the most asinine of stories… from these Hollywood idiots… without challenging them. One of those celebrities actually told Katie that she remembered her father molesting her when she was six-months-old, six-months-old!? Cattie didn’t even challenge that Hollywood has-been about remembering something so young… in the meantime, I’m there with my mouth open like the Aflac duck (judge is trying to imitate the facial expression of the Aflac duck) -- of course, I was not yelling, Aflac, but you fake phony bi-atch! Lorne/Darius are dying with laughter…. You noticed that it’s always these has-beens’ actors going on her show talking about why they’ve acted like a-holes when they were on top. All their lives, perfecting the art of being idiot savants -- savants of perversion; always blaming some dead uncle or an alcoholic father for why they engaged in bad behavior…?so now their careers have faltered… so now they write books and the public buy that crap, and you’re left to ask, were they happy that their dead uncles molested them that gave them the motivation to write the books that making them tons of money, or moreover, that it put them back in the spot-light -- it’s like the chicken and egg query… and they are always crying… forty years after the alleged fact… I wonder during those forty years -- did they cry every day, too… these so-called stars take away from legitimate victims of incest/pedophilia? Oh God, I would like to peel Katie Touric’s face like it was an orange….

Lorne and Darius laughing: So, Mr. M, why do you watch Katie Touric… if you hate her so much?

Judge (shaking his head): Well, Darius’ mother like her, and as I’ve said, she controls the remote (all are laughing).?So, who turn it is to crack? Lorne? Jr.?

There is a noise at the door… keys jingling… it is Hazel returning from her church

Darius: Save by the bell….

Judge: Indeed!

?Everybody sat up anticipating Hazel Millan’s appearance. Darius and Lorne emptied their glasses and placed them on the counter, bottle of scotch is placed back into the bar cabinet. The Judge, with his glass still in his hand, goes to meet his wife, while Darius and Lorne collect themselves and prepare to perform.

Judge: Happy birthday, honey. (kissing Hazel on the cheek) I have a surprise for you….

Hazel (Sighing): I told you I just wanted a quiet dinner with you, baby

Judge: You gonna like this surprise, honey. (Judge leads Hazel to the living room where Lorne and Darius are now waiting to perform. There is a cumbersome smile on Hazel’s face when she sees her son).

Hello, mom -- happy birthday….

Lorne: Mrs. M -- happy birthday!

Judge (joking): Sixty, is it honey?

Hazel: Don’t remind me, come here baby, (gesturing to Darius Jr.) give your mother a hug....

Darius obliges.

Hazel: You, too! (Pointing at Lorne. Lorne comes forward along with Darius and both kissed Hazel on her cheeks and hug her).?Darius runs back to a corner and brings back a plastic bag.

Darius: Happy birthday, mom. This is a little token. Hazel takes the bag, and curiously takes out its contents.

Hazel: Thank you, baby. She takes out the tee-shirt. Ooh, a tee-shirt. What does it say (looking at the writing/caption)? She reads it aloud -- WHAT IS IT TO YOU THAT I AM A FOOL FOR CHRIST JESUS! ?I l-o-v-e this. Can I make copies for my church sisters…?

Darius: You like it that much, uh, mom?

Hazel: Yes, I do. It’s beautiful, unique… and right up my alley. Hazel, smiling, holding and admiring the tee-shirt, repeats reading the caption aloud. “WHAT IS IT TO YOU THAT I AM A FOOL FOR CHRIST JESUS!”

Darius (joking/laughing): Well, you can make more, mom -- no need to give me pay me for the copyright. ??

All present, the judge laughs. The judge, looking at Darius and Lorne, winked and motioned to them to get ready to perform. Both go to an area of the living-room where the microphones and instruments are set up.

Judge: Honey, the main surprise is yet to come -- He guides Hazel to the living-room/couch

Hazel: Another surprise -- what is it??Darius, with bass, is in front of the microphone, along with Lorne on electric guitar in front another microphone….

Judge: The boys decided to write a song for your B-day….

Lorne pointing at Darius: It’s all the Lieu -- he wrote it, Mrs. M!

Hazel: beaming with pride, puts an arm around her husband, and sits down on her husband’s knees. When did you guys plan this? Judge smiling and lovingly places his hand to Hazel’s mouth: Shh!

Lorne and Darius cue the music for John Mellencamp’s, Thank You. Darius draws closer to his microphone and starts singing (drill down into the hyperlink for song): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLefCQOdfHk

Let me say thank you to those who love many

Let me say thank you for those who still play fair

Hallelujah the meek shall inherit

Let me thank you to all the [mothers] out there

All the [mothers] out there

Let me say grace for those who feel they don’t matter

Let God look down on the soldiers of this earth

Trying to find peace in this world that housed so many

Let me say grace for those who feel lost and burned

Lost and burned

Let’s hear a smile for those who feel they have nothing

Let’s shake the hands of Johnny-do-well on the streets

Let’s give a wink to those girls who don’t feel pretty

Let’s find some water for those who need a drink

Need a drink

And when I see so many broken

Soon to be heading to heaven’s door

Let me count the ways, let me count our blessings

That no man should feel lonely anymore

Let me thank you to the people raising families

Let me say thank you to those who build the bridge

And here’s to dreams to bigger brighter future

That we all have someone to protect us from all bad things

Let me say thank you to those who love many

Let me say thank you for those who still play fair

Hallelujah the meek shall inherit

Let me say thank you to all the [mothers] out there

Out there

Let me say thank you to the [mothers] out there

Let me say thank you

The Millan’s are beaming at Darius’ flawless performance. Hazel has tears in her eyes. She clapped all through the performance, along with the judge. The Millan’s stands and gives Darius and Lorne a standing ovation -- Hazel runs over to kiss her son and hugs him, while the judge admires from the couch still clapping

Hazel: That was great guys. Those are your words, baby?

Lorne gives Darius a wink, with the reverence he had for Darius when they 'Served' in the Special Forces : It’s all the Leu’s, Mrs. M

Darius: You really like it?

Hazel: I really do. You guys are good together. You guys stick around for some cake

Darius: Ok, Mom

Judge: Guys you have to let me bankroll your music-I’m not just saying that because you’re my son.

Darius: Thanks, dad, but you should talk to Lorne-he is the one serious about music

Judge: That’s what’s so amazing, especially since you guys just whipped that song up in such a short time. Look, I’m serious. I could bankroll your music, and I know people who could help in promotion, etc….

Lorne: Mr. M, I’m definitely gonna take you up on your offer….

Hazel comes back with two pieces of cake wrapped in file paper for Lorne and Darius.

Hazel: Here guys (giving each a piece of cake) she also slipped some crisp hundred-dollar bills into Darius Jacket, and some to Lorne, too, of which the judge observed.

Hazel: I’ll call you guys a cab…

Darius: Thanks mom….

Lorne: Thanks, Mrs. M....