Another Cuppa MaternaTEA

My little Oscar arrived in April 2021 and I returned to work in November. I intended on writing an article, but it has taken me 5-months to actually do it! Life is just on fast-forward at the moment, right?

My piece on my return-to-work after my first Maternity Leave in 2019 helped establish new connections to like-minded people, and I think that comradery is exactly what we all need now!

I've always encouraged people to let their guards down on LinkedIn. I am certain that none of my connections are only interested in the success of their respective companies, or the latest trends in their industries... You have passions and hobbies and imperfections that personally I LOVE to get a sneak-peak into sometimes. It makes us human!

So, let me start with the obvious... having a baby in 2021 was VASTLY different from having a baby in 2019! My gosh, I have never been more deeply connected to my priorities than I am right now.

And I'm not the only one of course... The Great Resignation is a movement created out of both certainty and uncertainty: Uncertainty in regards the world right now, certainty in regards our time being precious. Flexibility and purpose have become deal-breakers.

Having a baby during a global pandemic, with a very energetic and attached toddler, amid terrifying headlines, while also trying to progress, adapt and learn as a professional woman, has unearthed some reliance’s that I never needed as much as I do now. They are as follows:

My Big Picture (BP) and my Bottom Line (BL)

• “Why am I returning to work at all, let alone earlier than planned?”
• “What kind of life do I want to create?”
• “How do I keep them safe and happy?”

These are just some of the questions that have kept me awake at night. I reflected, and used those exhausting questions to create a crystal clear vision of the kind of mother, wife, friend, employee, daughter, sister and woman I want to be, and the life I want to give my family.

Any task or thought that does not directly enhance that Big Picture (BP) is not worth my time, and my Bottom Line (BL) is non-negotiable.

This challenging exercise enabled me to make tough decisions regarding my career, friendships, my parenting style, etc. It also helps me accept that some days in the office are easier than others. It’s a rollercoaster driven by different circumstances (and personalities!), so having my BP and my BL helps navigate the tilts.

Do you have a BP and a BL?

Mind, Body and Soul

When I'm up breastfeeding 3+ times a night, doing creche runs, working full-time, running a household, walking two doggies… it is dangerously easy to let myself feel like a hamster on a wheel.

In the words of Daenerys Targaryen: I'm going to break the wheel!

(Although that didn't work out too well for Dany and I am STILL BITTER ABOUT THAT soooo moving swiftly on...)

I will ruthlessly find time to relax with my husband, to be silly with my kids, to go to the gym, get my nails done, watch RuPaul’s Drag Race and drink champagne, because NONE of that is frivolous and ALL of that is good for my Mind, Body and Soul! No one is going to prioritise that for me, it is up to me.

My Girls

I have always needed strong women in my life so, this isn’t a new reliance, but the frequency and potency of the reliance certainly is! Some women in my life are mothers, some are not, some work outside the home, some don’t. And although our lives are different, the pace and balancing act is the same.

Funny that, eh?

There are tiers of support we give each other. Sometimes it’s just a chat, sometimes it’s wine and a calorific feast! Sometimes it’s hype on social media, other times it’s a “GIRL! I am drowning and the world is on fire! How the hell do we do this?!” type-of-WhatsApp-voicey at random times during the day and night! I. Need. It. All!

With International Women’s Day less than 24-hours away, let me use this article to make my pledge for 2022:

I will build the women in my life up and remind them how incredible they are at every possible opportunity! #BreakTheBias

I am hyper-aware that I have won the lottery of life: I have a roof over my head and food in the fridge, my family are healthy, safe and happy, I love my job, I have a fulfilling marriage and meaningful friendships.

Nevertheless, it’s fun to share these insights! ??

If you’ve made it this far, THANKS for reading and please share your insights back in the comments or DM's. ??