Anorexia and Me

Anorexia and Me

Today marks the start of Eating Disorders Awareness Week which aims to fight against the misunderstandings that surround the illness. I would love to think that my posts, videos and podcasts can help educate colleagues and bring those much- needed conversations to the forefront of people’s minds.

The Facts

Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate for any mental health illness and unfortunately, anorexia nervosa is at the top of that scale. Over the last 30-40 years, the prevalence of eating disorders has increased to become a widespread problem across the UK and worldwide with around 3.4 million people in the UK being affected and around 25% of those being male.

Statistics show that most eating disorders develop during adolescence, although there are cases in children as young as 6. Research also shows that the earlier that an eating disorder treatment is sought, the better the sufferer’s chance of recovery.

This is why educating and promoting an understanding is so important.

So, what is anorexia?

According to the NHS, anorexia is where a person tries to keep their weight as low as possible by not eating. They have a distorted body image, and this makes them very ill as they are starving their bodies of nutrients and their brain of oxygen.

However, what the NHS don’t say is that anorexia is actually about CONTROL. This is where the medical professionals often go wrong and don’t get the treatment right. They treat the weight as the issue and then fail to address the mind. It usually stems from a person’s underlying sense of powerlessness in the face of life’s stressors.

It is a means of exerting control over your eating. This is seen by that person as a success in a world where they view themselves as a failure in other areas.

For me, I developed anorexia at age 11 and many of you will have read about my story already through yammer.

For those that haven’t, the anorexia started when I felt that my eating and my weight were the only things that I could exert control over. My Daddy’s health was worsening, and I knew I couldn’t do anything about it. This is really when I started to feel uncomfortable around food and my body.

It then escalated when Daddy died. This created a sense of loss and guilt especially around things that I should of but never said.

My whole world fell apart when I lost my Daddy and the only thing that I could control was what I ate and how I looked. It was almost like it gave me a sense of safety.

The more weight I lost and the better I felt about myself. This serious weight loss meant that I could not think straight, and this skewed any judgment I had.

Things spiralled and within 4 months I was down to just 2 and a half stone. My body started to shut down and my organs stopped working and I was quickly admitted to hospital with anorexia nervosa. This is when my life stopped, and I ended up in a continuous cycle of multiple hospitalisations and stints of being tube fed. This process continued throughout my childhood and adolescence. I often don’t think people realise the extent of the illness or the long term effects on the mind and body. Its hard to put into words and so I’ll just leave my pictures below. ?They say that pictures say a thousand words and I’d say these do a lot more.

My last hospitalisation was just before I went to university, and I was essentially left with no aftercare. At the time it was almost like I was being given free reign to do what I wanted and to lose as much weight as I could. Sadly, that is exactly what I did and ended up spiralling with no way out.

Despite all of this, I survived University… A miracle right! I don’t think I expected to be here, let alone anyone else. I would say that many people wrote me off and deemed it self-inflicted when it was actually a serious mental health condition that I couldn’t control.

So, what are the effects of anorexia on the body?

When the body is consistently starved, a myriad of health problems occur due to the malnutrition. Some effects may be reversible, but many are long lasting and can even be fatal. Organs will shut down as the body cannot cope and that’s only the physical. There are so many mental health effects too and this is what usually gets left by the wayside when Doctors are just trying to keep you alive.

Treatment

When I was first diagnosed, the GP turned round to my Mum and said:

“You just need to make her eat”.

They clearly had no understanding about anorexia or how to treat it.

When I did get help, Doctors and nurses had no clue. They treated the weight side of things and focused on tube feeding. Issues around the mind were not properly addressed. As such, on release, I went straight back to how I was before.

They used a Reward and Punishment type of treatment and that too has left me with trauma all these years later.

In terms of recovery; anorexia is so complex, and the recovery process will look different for each person.

It also has long lasting effects due to the trauma a person has faced. It will impact on your career, relationship, friends and family and that’s only the start.

I’d say this is why it’s so important for us to educate people. I think it’s a good reminder to us all that you don’t always know what is going off with people inside and to just be kind.

Please keep your eyes peeled throughout the week for lots more posts, videos and of course… The Podcast that I have recorded for Places for People with Gemma Oaten ?? !!!

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