Annoying Co-Worker (s) !

Co-workers can be your closest confidantes, or they can be the people you dread seeing in the morning. We all know a few of both.

When you start a new job, you inherit more than a desk and a docket of responsibilities. Unless you’re freelancing or working solo, your job will also include a cast of colleagues (a.k.a., characters) who you’ll be working with day in and day out.

Ideally, you’ll bond with your new team. Sure, you might find one or two people grating, but overall, you should have a few people you like to talk to each morning. However, that’s not always the case. My friend recently started a new job and felt like her co-workers just weren’t that into her—personally. No one was hostile, but they weren’t pausing at her desk to chat or asking her to join their social club either.

We’ve all had to work with those colleagues who never pull their own weight. Instead, they seem to skate by with the bare minimum—all the while relying on their team members to carry them over the finish line. While the rest of your team is working away, this person seems content to just coast.

Those sorts of co-workers are undeniably frustrating (tips for dealing with them). But, have you ever stopped to think that you might be one of them?

Other people’s annoying habits, from taking personal calls all day long to consistently forgetting to copy you on important emails, can ruin a workday or—worst case scenario—your success within the company.

So, if you’ve got a co-worker that’s driving you crazy, should you tell them?

Yes if: It’s interfering with Your Ability to Do Your Job

A co-worker showing you endless pictures of their labradoodle isn’t worth a tough conversation, but slacking off on projects and taking credit for your work definitely is.

Yes if: It’s Something They Can Definitely Fix

Maybe your co-worker has not –great body odour, or they blast their music at an insane volume.

If it’s something you know they could solve with something as simple as deodorant or the volume button on their phone, it’s OK to ask (but, in the case of body odour, speak to HR and see if they’ll handle it).

Yes if: There’s No Way to Avoid the Annoying Habit

If you’re trapped in a cubicle together and there’s nowhere else you can work, you can definitely bring it up. Whether it’s their messy desk or their unnecessary PDA with their significant other that’s taking over, remember: It’s your workspace, too.

Yes if: You Can Find the Right Approach

To get the best possible outcome—the person quits their annoying habit—you should be polite, direct, and respectful. Don’t let things get to the point where you’re so irritated you blow up at them or get personal. That won’t solve anything.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensue discussion or debate.    

Thank you … You’re on the Receiving End of Passive-Aggressive Comments

As you make your way out of the office at 4 PM, you pass by a colleague and offer him a friendly smile. He waves, says he’ll see you tomorrow, and then tacks on a comment like, “It must be nice to leave early every day.”

Is this passive aggression?

You bet. But, if your peers don’t feel comfortable approaching you about your supposed lack of effort, these sorts of comments might be some of your best clues into how you’re being perceived.

Constantly hearing things from your co-workers about how they wish their to-do lists were as short or their inboxes were as empty as yours might make you think they’re just trying to be condescending or snarky. But, these muttered statements can actually be symptomatic of something deeper going on.

They Make You Feel Poor

It’s disconcerting when you feel like you’re the economic outcast of the group. Your co-workers go out to eat practically every day, but you can’t afford that. They want to celebrate a win at a fancy restaurant, order lots or drinks, and split the check, while you don’t really want to drop $75 for your $12 app.

So, you keep saying no for financial reasons. But your colleagues interpret it as you not wanting to spend time with them. After a period of time, they eventually stop asking.

However, a permanent disinvite is not the best solution here. In fact, your best bet is to be more involved socially, by offering to pitch in with planning and suggesting alternate (i.e., less expensive) options. Ask if everyone would be up for eating outside, somewhere they could buy lunch and you could brown bag it.

Want to add word or two? 

There are the co-workers who are constantly interrupting you in meetings. There are the ones who don’t seem to pull their weight. And there are even the ones who blast their music or chew their paan masala/”vimal “ –with  disgusting mouth odour.

Whatever their annoying habits, these co-workers obviously aren’t all that self-aware. After all, if they knew how much of a nuisance they were, they might actually be embarrassed and put an end to their obnoxious behaviours.

Of course, you’re not one to be blunt in these scenarios. Speaking up to a co- worker who’s annoying or disruptive isn’t just a courageous act—it’s a risk in itself. It can either go over well or backfire on you, or—in the case of someone who’s not in tune with themselves—your feedback just doesn’t stick.

Your comment ….?

“It’s not my job” has become a phrase commonly used in the workplace. But that doesn’t mean it should be. Sure, this attitude may help you avoid doing extra work, but it’ll probably also prevent you from advancing in your career since you’ll be labelled as someone unwilling to go above and beyond. Not to mention, it could also get you labelled as lazy and unaccommodating (say goodbye to your happy hour invite).

But—hold the phone a second—just because I’m saying you shouldn’t make regular use of those four words doesn’t mean I think you should always say yes and automatically pick up the slack for others. What I am saying is that, rather than letting these words slip out of your mouth, you should learn how to say yes or no in a way that works for both parties involved.

Obscure feedback isn’t helpful, even when it’s good. For example, when clients tell me their boss said they did “a great job,” I ask, “What part of the job did they think was great?”

Often, the answer is silence. Although it’s nice to think you’re doing a great job, that’s a vague piece of feedback. How do you know what, specifically, you did right?

If you don’t know, you won’t be able to keep doing it, earning those gold stars.

Imagine how awful it must be, then, to receive vague negative feedback! “Jillian, that wasn’t a great meeting.” That comment gives the receiver nothing specifically to work on. Instead, test your comments by asking yourself, “Will the person know exactly what behaviour I’m talking about?”

Was Jillian unprepared for the meeting?

Did she not manage the timeline well?

Did she not facilitate the conversation appropriately?

If your feedback isn’t clear enough to you, it definitely won’t be to the receiver.

A standard thank you may not be extraordinarily creative, but it works—and that’s the important thing.

You want to make sure your co-worker knows you appreciate her?

Walk up to her desk and give her a genuine, straightforward thank you. To make the most impact, mention what you’re specifically grateful for

“Christine, thank you so much for jumping in and helping me with my presentation yesterday. I know it was a late night; I really appreciate you taking the extra time to make sure it was perfect. I couldn’t have done it without you!”

Face-to-face, specific, and full of appreciation—it’s sometimes the only thing someone wants to hear.