Annette Parker and Jaina Gandhi on Assessing Personality to Discover Your Passion

Ms. Annette Parker

Specialist Coach for Empathic Individuals and Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) ? | Training people to SET BOUNDARIES and avoid BURN OUT so they can PERFORM with CONFIDENCE ? |

Business Owner @ Believe This Dream ? |

Gold Coast, Queensland | Australia

Just by meeting 10 passionate people I have started seeing commonalities -

• Growth mindset ? ?
• Optimism ?
• Compassion ?
• Attitude for giving back to the community ?
• Ability to take risks ?
• Curiosity ?
• Respecting time & energy ?
• Maintaining a beautiful state ?

Learning something new is easier than unlearning something you are hard wired with.

In many ways, I see in Annette my future self. Her journey from being shy, an introverted kid full of self-doubt to an emotionally independent, confident, and optimistic woman resonates with my story. For years, we both were on our individual life-long quests of becoming our optimistic versions and spent most of our time on personal development and self-help; constantly trying to remove the mental blocks of unconscious conditioning from our respective childhoods.

We both strongly believe that in order to change our realities we have to change our personalities to an extent. We have to be cognizant of our shadow side and consistently keep making progress towards the positive side of the continuum.

The clock showed 4:00 am PST. The tone for this conversation was set. Our energies were already in sync and my antennas were wide open to receive her passionate story.

How did your start-up 'Believe this Dream' came into being?

"I strongly believe in order to get the right job you need to work at it. So, I started my foray into corporate by winning an office manager job for the largest IT global advisory firm in the world at that time. Since then, I worked in multiple domains like health, operations, and client services for more than a decade. Although I enjoyed my work, I didn't like the corporate politics, favoritism, and hierarchical culture that came along with it. It didn't align with my moral and ethical values and I constantly felt like a round peg in a square hole. After a lot of self-reflection, I realized my interests are more towards psychology and emotional well-being and discovered my calling for becoming a holistic coach.

I discovered that coaches in my area were ripping off people and didn't have the required qualifications. To break this trend, I decided to get some training on understanding the clients' backgrounds. So, I went to University after 27 years and graduated with a counseling degree, studied a lot of courses, read a couple of 100 books, and also became a member of an academic society. All of this was extremely challenging but I did it. I have been corner crying my eyes out for a number of vacations thinking I cannot do this but I was able to achieve all this just by being consistent. Finally, I started my dream business on personality development and things have just been going up & up since then."

What is your mission?

"During COVID-19 we got smashed quite hard and so I decided to really focus on giving back. After learning a lot, I have realized that my strengths are empathy & compassion. When I am coaching people I am not forcing them to do things they cannot do but encouraging them to learn what their shadow side is? and what is holding them back?

There are always certain incidents in our childhood that sparked fear or anxiety in us. I believe everybody deserves to live their true self and have somebody walk along their side. So that pretty much is my mission - I want to coach and have that education to back me up so that I can help people through those convoluted and tough blockages."

It's a huge transition from IT to Coaching! How did you figure out your passion?

"I am a big believer that personality needs assessment. What I am trying to help people know is exactly what their strengths and weaknesses are?

If I take you as an example Jaina - you are really about helping people, about personal development, and you have a compassionate demeanor. So, it's a no-brainer to tell where you would go; you would obviously be going towards connection, compassion, community.

For me, it was really easy that I want to help people because I have been victimized a lot in my childhood and I would never want it to happen to other people - one of the reasons why I was being deeply affected in corporate environments where there were injustices done using power adversely against other people. I used to get mortified seeing this and I knew that I had a very sensitive nature and the best way to get through it is to learn more about myself so I can help other people as well.

Now, I get up very happy knowing that it doesn't matter if I help 1 person or 100 as long as I am creating that ripple effect of kindness, understanding, and compassion.

If I can help one person achieve their goal, it's been a great day for me ??"

I couldn't relate to her more. The lack of fulfillment and purpose in pandemic life motivated me to start Passionate Pebbles.

What is that one thing that holds people back from making good decisions in their life?

"People are settling for a life that is mediocre. Statistics show that over 80% of people are unhappy in their jobs. This is because we are taught from a young age - go to work and earn money. We are not taught at school to follow our dreams, our passions, and commit to personal development. You want to live a life that gives you the satisfaction that you are making a difference in the world.

If more people trusted their intuition the world would be a better place. We need more people to express their individuality.

I am high on the emotional intelligence scale and that is not something valued in an IT climate. They needed people who are very logical, precise, working 11 hours a day looking at the screen. It wasn't something enjoyable for me.

Emotional Intelligence is the new black in leadership. I see COVID-19 as a pinnacle, a tipping point for people to start realizing that we as humans are not designed to sit in front of the computer screen 8 hours a day unless we are doing something where we are connecting! It's very important to connect with others. Human beings are designed for connection and if we don't have that something is going to suffer and quite often that's our mental health."

You have mentioned your Network is your Networth. So how do you choose your friends?

I have a beautiful group of friends and I love them dearly. When I created my personal development company I felt like I was home because I was around people who had the same mindset as me and all of a sudden people were actually celebrating each other's success. There was no jealousy, there was no envy, there was no tall poppy syndrome.

You do realize that there is more value to life than just going out and partying over the weekends. It is fun and I have done plenty of it myself and I love a good party. However, there is a point when you remove yourself from the hood and start focusing on what you want to achieve.

It is easy to find your tribe. You just have to be willing to get out of your comfort zone. You do need to surround yourself with people that will propel you forward.

Our conversations sparked my curiosity in digging deep. I went ahead and asked personal questions because I could sense a rapport building between us.

How much do other people's opinions of you affect you?

Well, I will be honest it used to be a lot! I spent most of my life being a people pleaser because when I was younger it was very hard to get acceptance. We were a very poor ethnic german family in a community that had a lot of Italian and Aussie folks. I had a brother who was intellectually impaired and I also faced tall poppy syndrome in my childhood. So, there have been years as a teenager that I struggled with low self-esteem. I didn't want to say anything that might offend someone. But now I have learned that I have a voice and that I am 100% within my rights to express voice. There is a difference between being a people pleaser and just trying to keep respect and integrity.

I firmly believe everybody is entitled to have an opinion as long as it doesn't hurt the other person and doesn't shame the other person then go ahead! If people can't value your opinion, your individuality then they are really not meant to be around you. They are not your tribe.

Surround yourself with people who respect your opinions and find value in what you have to offer. Something we should ask ourselves every single day -

Is this Kind? Is this worthy? Is this necessary?

If not, then just don't say it. If it's important to you to get the message across then by all means do it but just remember to do it with respect. Express your opinion and make sure your words heal and not harm."

What is one piece of advice you would give to a 26 yr old?

The biggest challenge for the younger generation is really to have independent thinking.

"In Australia, we have what they call the tall poppy syndrome. If you are talking about your achievements it's considered bragging. That's something I had to work on over the last couple of years because I am achieving, I will continue to achieve and I will also help others achieve. It's just the stigma that we need to break across the world. We need to celebrate success no matter how big or small. The one really big takeaway for me is to give yourself a pat on the back every time you achieve. It doesn't matter if it's writing a paragraph or drinking an extra glass of water.

As long as you are moving forward in your chosen area it doesn't matter how fast or slow you go. People have to realize Rome wasn't built in a day, your business isn't going to be built in a day, your vision is not going to be realized in a day. You just have to consistently keep putting in the effort. You are going to fail many many times along the way just get back up on that horse and keep going."

I could feel a transaction of uplifting words and positive energy between two strong women with independent thinking and I felt proud to celebrate my achievement through her words - "Jaina, I am a big believer in mastering your own destiny. You are obviously a person with high emotional intelligence so you obviously have so much to offer the world. You would be doing a disservice to the world if you are not promoting what you are doing. Your idea is wonderful and I can't wait to help promote your work cause it's so much about connection and passion."

That night while gazing at the stars, I recalled a humble question I had asked myself during school days - do you want to live a life of mediocrity or a life of passion and purpose? I am excited to see where this quest leads me :)

What is an extraordinary life? A life of meaning, a magnificent life, a life of joy, happiness, success, and fulfillment. Life experienced on your terms. - TR