The anger is within you, just control

I get angry very fast and with one mistake of someone on the road or in the traffic I tend to blow my top. I don't know why is this anger coming out every time I am at the wheet. But I need to relax my mind. When expectations are not met it seems devastating. I believe your have high expectations in life and every thing around you including your relationship. Expect less and work on achievable dreams.

Anger is normal emotion ,human nature ,some times healthy for your mental health.The problem a raises when we cannot control it. If you are bad at controlling we have to face the consequences of it or problems at relationships, at work,at very environment. General techniques like take a deep breath, count 10–1 that makes us to concentrate on counting. In my point of view imagination solves most of the problems in the real world. I follow technique and I jave named it as hamming it weard to hear but I will explain what it is?

I will Imagine like I had an hammer and I hit the opponent with the that and I see the entire animation in my brain. After feeling that hamming movement of the opponent and I will go by laughing at his face. Because most likely you have a lot of anger inside you because there are too many individuals whom you are still angry with and you refuse to forgive them for their past bad behavior. Forgiveness is for relieving the stress of holding onto resentment. Anger and resentment usually have no consequence on the person whom you are angry with.

There once lived a boy who had a bad temper. He would get angry at every little thing. One day, his father gave him a bag of nails and told him, "Every time you get angry, hammer a nail into that front wall." And so the activity started. On the first day, the boy hammered 50 nails. The next day, he hammered 40. Each time he used to go there, he repented being angry - it was quite a challenge to hammer a nail into that damn brick wall! Slowly, he discovered that controlling anger was easier than hammering, and the number of nails hammered started going down.

Eventually, a day came when he didn't get angry, and he felt the joy of it. Now his father gave him another task, "If you do not get angry the entire day, remove one nail from the wall." After several days, all the nails were removed. Now his father took him near the wall and asked him what did he see. The boy replied that he can see holes in the wall. The father then explained to his son: "These holes are like the scars that you leave on people when you get angry. No matter how many times you say sorry, the scar does not go." So I suggest you two things:

Realize that words once spoken cannot come back. Your anger hurts others and leaves a sour impression that lasts forever. Each time you get angry, "hammer a nail". Simplest thing you can do is to carry a pocket diary and put a line each time you get angry. Then at night, count the number of lines for that day. If you make this a habit, each time you would get angry, you would be reminded to note it down. Indirectly, you would also realize that you getting angry. And because you are conscious and aware at that time, you would find it easier to control your actions and subdue anger. I hope the day comes soon when you don't have any line in your diary.

Here is a lovely poem by April Bernard published in 2014. "The anger is within you"

I miss my anger. Decades go by

when all I can muster is absent-minded invective,

you know, directed at the news;

or a brief fantasy

of shoving someone in front of a bus. Yesterday

I slammed my fist on my desk

and then apologized, to the desk.

Consider the tapestry of the seven deadly sins, at Saint-Denis:

Anger, wild-haired and half-dressed,

picked out in blue and silver thread bunched

against the crimson,

rough against the fingertips, she

rides a black boar dappled with blood

and waves her double-headed axe —

Yes, I remember her.

I always lie when I always say

I didn’t know the gun was loaded.

Cheers!