Anger

When somebody is getting very emotional, esp. angry, I can imagine what’s the result might be, which is definitely not helping him or her. In such case, sometimes, I myself have tried to be calm down and lower my voice. But I saw people on whom I was angry see it as my weakness… So I don’t really know how to manage these situations of conflict. I saw my brain just can’t avoid of jumping into the fight mode.

It turns out that when we are triggered by someone’s words, behavior or situation, our brain is flooded with cortisol, our stress hormone. This shuts down our higher faculties that ordinarily enable us to respond smartly. We then respond from our most primitive brain. This causes us to fight. A few people, who have the best skills a diplomat should have, can manage such situations by freezing and shut down. People who (most people is as such, including myself) fight back or exchange heated words cause irreparable damage. Some people, often spouses, keep the peace at their own expenses. And, of course, some withdraw them rather than deal with the issue depending on the status (and strength) of their opponents. 

I understand that a few people can control their emotion during a tussle and employ strategies which could help them release the feel good hormone oxytocin. They, certainly are, the smartest, and can become good managers, diplomats and leaders. We can only hope to cope with those strategies…