Angela Kelly's journey as a mentor

BLOG ON MENTORING AT BOLTON LADS & GIRLS CLUB

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If there was one thing I learned from having two daughters and a stepdaughter it was that children need someone to talk to.

They need to be able to talk about their feelings, their ambitions, their fears. They need a non-judgmental sounding board for their lives.

I always felt that BLGC’s mentoring programme provided this, but it was hearing a staff member at a networking meeting seven years ago talking about what mentoring actually meant to the young people they dealt with that finally prompted me to apply.

The training was comprehensive, helpful, and honest and I was full of hope and expectation when I met up with my first young person, Olivia (not her real name).

She was 14 and spent much of her time caring for her mother whose health was poor. She lived in a nice home with her parents and brother, her father had a good if absorbing job but the brunt of the caring and housework fell on Olivia.

She had lost much of her childhood and her mother, Linda, both appreciated that fact and regretted it. She had put her daughter forward for mentoring.

Olivia was not chatty initially and found it hard to open up about her feelings and fears. But during our regular outings to the shops, films, bowling, and walking, she gradually felt able to share.

Bright and academic, her schooling had already suffered from her home duties, and she had little ambition in that direction. Gradually, though, we talked about possible future options, a life away from caring.

?Sadly, Linda’s health deteriorated. She was admitted to hospital and after a couple of months she died there. Everything once more fell on Olivia’s capable shoulders, and she had to put aside her grief to both sort out a funeral and support her father and brother during this sad time.

I felt she’d gone backwards here but, again gradually, we worked through possibilities in life, explored options, continued our enjoyable outings when sometimes she didn’t want to chat at all, but we still had a companionable time.

She returned to school for her exams and even continued for her A levels as our outings changed in nature to in-depth discussions about her studies and her life. She had a life again.

When our time together was over, Olivia had applied to a local university and gained a place. She had moved forward and, hopefully, was stronger.

The experience reinforced my beliefs in BLGC mentoring, and it made me realize that I had also changed and grown. This mentoring wasn’t like parenting; it was something quite different and, quietly and gradually, very enriching.

I was happy to become a mentor again with three more young teenage girls before meeting my current young person, 17 year-old Mohammad.

Has mentoring fulfilled that early motivation of providing someone for young people to talk to? Absolutely. ?And it shows individuals can make a difference, just by being there.