Andrew Tate: Someone to Motivate or Someone To Hate?

Chances are a lot of you have heard this name. He posts motivational videos for men; he knew how to manipulate algorithms and stir up controversy, so he could go viral.

The issue with algorithms is that they drip information little by little, and then that perception is what people know (like how the flat earth theory became popular/feasible).

There's inferred trust by men, because lots of people don't talk about men's mental health or support for men, and Tate does. And while there are a lot of areas that men do have privilege (white men in particular), there are lots of areas where they don't, which is why I do my best to communicate and educate on all perspectives and stereotypes, so we can bring a greater sense of equality/equity and understanding for each being in each scenario.

What I do agree with, that multiple of Tate's fans argue, is that you can't fully trust the media/media is biased. I have personally done a news interview where what I've said has been 'directed', and also been rejected for a news interview when I wasn't willing to agree with the narrative they wanted to communicate. What you can trust is what people directly say and their patterns, and Tate has multiple misogynist quotes and allegations that communicate he is a very unsafe space for women. Keep reading.

Who does Tate speak to/resonate with? I encourage you to ask yourself this question. From my perception, he's speaking to men in survival mode - males who try hard, and don't feel as appreciated/recognized as they probably should; males who have been bullied or rejected; males who feel life is unfair or have had negative romantic relationship experiences they are in the process of healing/avoiding. The tricky side of this is that many, many male (pre)teens are being shown Tate's stuff through the algorithm, and who is more easily motivated or persuaded than a teen who is hitting puberty, and wanting to assert some sort of independence/control/dominance/power in their life, when everything feels out of control, is changing, or struggling with dating/identity/peer pressure?

When it comes to allegations/charges:

There are MULTIPLE conversations I've had with people, because 'it's the media/it's false/he wasn't found guilty' or the common trope, 'many women falsely accuse men'. Speaking from a legal perspective, statistically, it is way more common for people to not report their assaults or for guilty people to be let go/charges be dropped, due to challenge of convicting, than it is for innocent people to be accused, and even much less to be found guilty of an assault they didn't do.

I speak about assaults to/from all genders; I'm an advocate and an ally for men who have been assaulted as well. There are much more men who have been assaulted that never report/talk about it/recognize that they have been assailted/abused, due to societal stereotypes/cultural perceptions. There is also very few resources for men/single dads who have been assaulted/abused of any type than there are for women/single moms. I understand and emphasize with that. I know of two people who were falsely accused. I know of and have worked with many, many, MANY more who have been assaulted and not reported or got lost in self-judgment/blame.

As a coach who specializes in improving trust, confidence, and communication, I teach about recognizing patterns and subtext of what we're subconsciously communicating (either internally or to others). The patterns in Tate's communications are he puts just enough softeners/distractors (contradictory statements people can agree with enough to keep their focus on what he's actually wanting them to agree with). Ie. Some of the comments made by Tate, regarding women:

• "‘Next point, if you put yourself in a position to be raped, you must bare some responsibility. I’m not saying it’s OK you got raped. No woman should be abused regardless. However with sexual assault they want to put zero blame on the victim whatsoever. If you go out. Meet a guy. Take his drinks all night. Go to his apartment drunk. Start to kiss him. Then he grabs your tits. Not harassment"

• In a now-deleted page on his website, he said he brought women into the "adult entertainment industry". "My job was to meet a girl, go on a few dates, sleep with her, test if she's quality, get her to fall in love with me to where she'd do anything I say and then get her on webcam so we could become rich together," "I had 75 women working for me in four locations and I was doing $600,000 a month from webcam," he said in a podcast interview.

Entitlement of women's bodies:

• In an interview with another YouTuber, he said he was "absolutely a misogynist", and added: "I'm a realist and when you're a realist, you're sexist. There's no way you can be rooted in reality and not be sexist."
• “If you’re a 55 kilo female, I will pick you up with one hand, by your titty.”
• “One of the best things about being a man is being territorial and being able to say ‘that is mine.’”
• “I will never apologize because I don’t make mistakes.”
• “You can’t be responsible for something that doesn’t listen to you. You can’t be responsible for a dog if it doesn’t obey you, or a child if it doesn’t obey you, or a woman that doesn’t obey you.”
• In a video clip: “This is probably 40 percent of the reason I moved to Romania, because in eastern Europe, none of this garbage flies. If you go to the police and say ‘He raped me back in 1988,’ they’ll say ‘Well you should have done something about it then’.”
• "Sexual harassment is disgusting and inexcusable. However. A man looking at you or whistling at you or asking your name isn’t harassment. This belief does discredit as a whole. Stick to the serious definitions and stop pretending normal male behavior is rape.
• "Secondly – harvey. Creep? Obviously. But women have been exchanging sex for opportunity for a very long time. Some did this. Weren’t abused."
• “They’re like, ‘you’re under arrest for a suspicion of assault of this dumb hoe.’”

Text/voice note to a person charging him with rape:

• “You were my whore when I had my hands on you” “Are you seriously so offended I strangled you a little bit. You didn’t fucking pass out. Chill the fuck out, Jesus Christ, I thought you were cool, what’s wrong with you”
• "I love raping you," "Monsters are monsters. When ur under my control, I do whatever I please."
• "You didn't like that I was thinking I can do whatever I want to you," "That's what it is. I'm the smartest person on this fucking planet."
• "I am one of the most dangerous men on this planet. Sometimes you forget exactly how lucky you were to get fucked by me."
• "Am I a bad person… because the more you didn't like it the more I enjoyed it"

• The first night she went over to Tate's apartment, she said a switch had flipped after she told him she did not want to have sex that night. "I got up and looked at him and went, 'What's wrong?' This guy (Tate) literally laid there and went: 'I'm just debating whether I should rape you or not.'" She told that outlet that Tate strangled and raped her after that moment, calling her his property and asking "who do you belong to?"

Voice notes/video of some of the previous quotes: bit.ly/AndrewTateAudio

In resolution: He's neither someone who motivates or someone to hate. People can be a multitude of things - someone can be a great parent, and a horrible spouse; someone can be extremely knowledgeable and successful in their career, and promote questionable morals/ethics; someone can be an addict that takes advantage of family members, and still has a caring heart. He's dangerous, absolutely. He knows how to manipulate and persuade people to do what he wants, no matter their gender identity. Every person lives their own story and acts according to their internal values and justifications. Him being who he is doesn't mean he's worthy of hate, as he genuinely believes he's trying to positively impact males, however knowing that he would wish harm or lack of autonomy for your loved ones (sisters, daughters, mothers, friends, etc), is this really a person you want to emulate as a role model? Is this really a person you want to identify as or align with? These are the questions to ask ourselves when we share content, because what we internalize can shift our beliefs and personality, especially if it's through social media, which is designed to analyze and keep you on their platform.

There are many other amazing men who advocate for other men, who have not been accused of assault, nor have they encouraged such aggressive and misogynistic ideologies.

At the top of my head: Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, Arnold Schwarzenegger , Keanu Reeves , Terry Crews , Sabastian Enges , Trevor N. , Chase McDaniel, Matt Rife

These are men to emulate and to listen to. They are successful, strong (physically, mentally, and emotionally), have experienced a variety of life and still hold compassion to all.

Who a person lives from survival mode is not their true identity. If you are living in survival mode, if you are living in or with pain, it does get better. Surround yourself with people who are at peace and create peace/joy in their lives. You might have some internal beliefs that you don't deserve it, so you self-sabotage, but I promise you you do.

Much happiness, love, healing, and peace to anyone out there struggling. If confidence is something you struggle with, private message me, and let's turn it around for you.

#tate #motivation #culture #communication #relationships #rolemodels #society #perception #boundaries