Amicable Divorces!
Amicable Divorces! - it was music to my ears.
This is what I have been working on since I started my law firm in 2003.
What is amicable divorce?
When a spouse wants to end the marriage with his spouse by reaching a settlement on the divorce, maintenance and division of assets before going to Court.
Why an amicable divorce?
Protect the children from the negative effects of divorce, lessen emotional stress, start the next phase in life peacefully and save on lawyers' fees.
How to achieve an amicable divorce?
Negotiation:
- Often referred to as the kitchen table negotiation, spouses sit together and discuss on the terms of settlement.
- in the thick of marital conflict, clients find it hard to detach emotionally and discuss rationally.
- clients are unable to strategize, be effective negotiators and lack legal know how.
- parties are in control and create their outcomes.
Negotiation undertaken by lawyers:
- Spouses engage their own lawyers and negotiate through them. Often, lawyers negotiate through correspondence.
- Feelings, reasons and thoughts behind the negotiation cannot be expressed in letters.
- Often the tone and language of letters convey unintended messages.
- It takes a long time to reach an agreement through correspondence.
Collaborative Family Practice (CFP):
Popular around the world, it has been used in Singapore since 2013. Lawyers and clients have face to face negotiations. Collaborative trained mental health and financial professionals can be called upon for help, if needed.
Settlements can be reached in shorter periods of time.
- Not very popular in Singapore yet. Difficult to get buy-in from other spouse.
- If CFP fails, the clients have to engage new lawyers to represent them in Court.
- the most effective form of negotiation..
Private Mediation:
The clients engage an independent person to help them to reach an agreement.
- Costs is an hinderance as the couple can file for divorce and obtain free mediation in Court led by Judge-Mediators.
- However, private mediations cut down on time, effort and emotions spent on filing for divorce, recalling past incidents and stating them in divorce papers or responding to such allegations.
What is the best way to reach a settlement?
Personally, I would say CFP. At the end of the day, what works out best for parties is all that matters.
Achieving amicable divorces is hard work and only 10% of my clients reach a settlement through their own or lawyer-aided negotiation.
Clients are undeterred. They always want amicable divorces.
60% of divorces filed in Courts are amicable divorces as shared by MSF.
Next, look out for my post on getting amicable divorces in Court.