The American Tipping Culture

When did generosity become an obligation?

I was about to argue with a self-checkout machine last time I visited DC in 2023. It had just asked me if I wanted to leave a tip. "Tip who?" I thought while stabbing the "No Tip" button as I felt personally offended. I did all the work. Who am I tipping? Has the world finally gone mad? Those were my thoughts.

Maybe it has. Tipping used to be an act of gratitude. Now, it feels like a toll booth at every turn.

Order a coffee? Tip.

Pick up a takeaway? Tip.

Book a massage? Tip.

And don't forget the extra for "energy alignment." I’ve observed this as a tourist, watching Americans tip machines, counter workers, and even people who haven’t actually provided a service yet. It’s as if they've agreed to subsidise wages while pretending it's still a choice.

In Amsterdam, John Oliver spoke about watching a bartender chase down a tourist who had left a few euros on the table. "You forgot your money," he said, puzzled by the idea that anyone would leave extra when the bill already covered everything.

In Japan, tipping is sometimes seen as an insult, implying that the worker needs charity rather than being paid fairly in the first place. Even here in Dubai, a city driven by expats from all around globe, we only tip when the service given is extraordinary because there's a service charge that is already added to the bill.

The contrast is striking. In the United States, tipping has become an obligation, not an option. It caused Emma Baddington a trauma.

The Tipping Domino Effect

People tip in the states, because they know workers depend on it. But why do they depend on it? Because their base pay is often shockingly low. The federal tipped minimum wage is still stuck at $2.13 an hour, a figure that should be displayed in museums under "Artifacts of Corporate Indifference." Employers legally pass the burden of fair wages onto customers, who are left staring at a screen, feeling guilted into filling the gap. I don't know how at that rate, Americans call those paid little in poorer or other countries, "enslaved". I feel like... America, the joke's on you.

And if you think tipping is optional, try refusing to tip a waiter and see how quickly you become the villain of the evening. The social contract is clear. You tip, or you’re rude. But should it be this way?

The Cost of a Broken System

In most states, tipping isn’t just a bonus. It’s survival. Some workers get payslips that literally say "THIS IS NOT A CHEQUE" because taxes eat up their entire base wage. They rely on tips not for extras, but for rent, food, and the ability to turn on the heating in winter. Meanwhile, customers navigate an ever-growing maze of expected tipping percentages, unclear on whether 15% is still enough or if 25% is the new norm.

There are solutions. States like California and Washington require employers to pay full minimum wage before tips. Workers earn more, and customers tip knowing it’s truly extra, not a necessity. The restaurant industry hasn’t collapsed. In fact, studies show tipped workers in these states often make more.

Compare that to Amsterdam, Tokyo or even Dubai, where service workers don’t expect anything extra because they are already paid a fair wage. It’s not that people there don’t appreciate good service. They just don’t believe workers should have to rely on the kindness of strangers to pay their bills.

Who Benefits from the Current System?

It is easy to assume that tipping culture exists solely for the benefit of workers, but that is only part of the story. The biggest winners in this system are employers who get away with paying less. By shifting the responsibility for wages onto customers, businesses cut their labour costs while appearing to keep menu prices lower. In reality, consumers still pay the same amount, just in a different way. Instead of seeing a higher price on a menu, they see a tipping screen at checkout, nudging them to cover the wage gap.

This creates an illusion of choice. Customers believe they have the power to decide how much a worker earns, but in many cases, the expectation is built-in. If someone does not tip, they risk being labelled rude or ungrateful, even if the service was mediocre. The reality is that the responsibility for fair pay should never fall on the shoulders of customers. It belongs to the employers.

The Psychological Pressure to Tip

Tipping has evolved into a social expectation rather than a genuine act of generosity. Studies show that most people tip out of obligation rather than appreciation. Digital tipping screens, often pre-set with higher tip percentages, take advantage of this by creating psychological pressure. Many feel guilty selecting "No Tip" while a worker watches or when other customers are nearby.

Research has also found that customers are more likely to tip when the lowest pre-set option is high. If a screen offers 18%, 22%, and 25% as choices, people are less likely to go below the lowest option, even if they normally tip 15%. This tactic increases total tips, but it also warps the idea of voluntary tipping, making it feel mandatory.

The Real Problem: A System That Assumes Everyone Can Afford to Tip

The American tipping system is utterly broken. It operates under the assumption that every customer has the disposable income to subsidise wages that businesses should be covering in the first place. Instead of paying staff properly, many employers shift that burden onto the public, turning tipping from a courtesy into a social obligation. The expectation is universal, regardless of whether the person paying can actually afford to contribute extra.

It is an unfair, poorly designed model that punishes both workers and customers while allowing business owners to pocket the difference. Some people can barely afford to eat out themselves, yet they are still expected to cover wages on behalf of multi-million-dollar corporations that refuse to do so. That is not generosity. That is exploitation wrapped in a veneer of social etiquette.

Is There a Better Way?

Some restaurants and businesses have attempted to eliminate tipping by raising wages and adjusting menu prices accordingly. The goal is simple. Workers receive reliable, liveable pay without depending on the unpredictable nature of tips. While some consumers resist the idea of higher prices, this approach leads to greater financial stability for workers and removes the social pressure tied to tipping.

This shift has worked in several places. In Denmark, service workers in restaurants receive higher base wages, and tipping is rare. People still enjoy dining out, and businesses continue to operate successfully. When workers are paid fairly from the start, tipping becomes what it was always meant to be. A thank you, not an expectation.

A Better Way

If tipping is to return to what it was, a reward not a requirement, the base pay problem needs to be fixed. That means eliminating the subminimum wage so that every worker starts at a liveable income. Tips should be what they were meant to be. Appreciation, not obligation.

Until then, people remain stuck in this awkward dance, pretending to have a choice while a screen asks them, ever so politely, to make up the difference.

The man at the self-checkout had the right instinct. "Tip who?" is the wrong question. The right one is. "Why are we still doing this?"