America still hates women

There may be many reasons why Trump won a second term, but it’s time to call out the misogynist elephant in the room.

Explaining complex issues to children - things like war, school shootings, the re-election of convicted criminal - is daunting. I often find myself trying to give hope that I don’t have. Muster optimism that I don’t feel. This morning I told my two young kids simply “The bad guy won, but there are still a lot of good people who want to help people and it’s our job to help, it’s our job to spread kindness.” I do believe that. I do want to still have hope amid my profound grief, disappointment, and fear. As a journalist I am proud to work for a publication that will continue to hold truth to power, and uplift and celebrate marginalized voices.??

But what I can’t muster is patience. I’m a white woman and a US citizen, I am fully aware of my privilege, but I can also hold profound anger with that privilege. Anger? for me, for my kids, for my country, and for all of those without my privilege. Anger is that we are here again. That we are always here.?

Anger that Kamala Harris knew she had to downplay both her race and gender. It’s hard to imagine a person less qualified to be president than Donald Trump, yet 71 million Americans gave him the job. There’s a laundry list of excuses for why he won: misinformed beliefs about the economy and inflation or jobs or trade wars or crime and even legitimate disappointments about policy on Gaza, but it’s hard for me to believe that we woke up to a Trump presidency for any other reason than misogyny and racism.???

Last night feminist writer Jessica Valenti shared a quote by another feminist writer Germaine Greer: “Women have very little idea of how much men hate them." By now though I think we do. I think it’s very painfully clear. It’s as loud and clear as it could possibly be as our proudly sexist president implored men specifically to get out to vote. It’s clear too, in Florida's cruel and dangerous abortion ban passing.

But it’s not just men who hate women, or fear women. It’s women too. White women in particular helped Trump win in 2016 and while the full numbers aren’t yet in, millions of women undoubtedly helped Trump win again this time. It’s one of the most difficult things to understand or explain, the way some women are often complicit in their own oppression, or believe that they are somehow immune. We aren’t immune. British journalist Janice Turner said “Women are never more than collateral in men’s wars, whether cultural or military.” Women, immigrants, people of color, poor people, education, healthcare, the climate crisis, will all be collateral in Trump’s second term.

When 2028 comes around, chances are Democrats won’t want to risk it again and a woman won’t be the nominee. Who knows how many years we will have to wait. But for now I think the least we can do is finally call a spade a spade.

Kamala Harris played by the unwritten rule book that women who want a seat at the table know they have to play by. She never lost her cool, she never stooped to their level, she took it all in stride and didn’t let the cracks show. She was qualified for the job and lost it to a wildly less qualified man. But she also refused to “know her place” - she defied the expectation to “be humble.”

She lost and for many of us that’s as unsurprising as it is disappointing but as much as it all feels futile I know we won’t give up.

I vote in every single election, even the small local primaries, in part because just over 100 years ago, I wouldn't have been allowed to vote. Women weren’t given the right to vote, they fought like hell for it. And today, on a day when it’s hard to feel optimistic about this country, one thing I need to believe is that we will keep fighting.?