The Ambition Trap: How to Stop Living for Approval and Start Living for You

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Maybe it's just me...

I’ve always loved the idea of ambition. To me, it’s been about drive, purpose, and striving for something more. Which is why I was taken aback when a younger colleague—a 35 year-old woman, Hayley, who is hugely successful here at LinkedIn—recoiled when I used the word. Literally, she drew back her shoulders and scrunched her nose. “I don’t want anyone to think of me as ambitious,” she said.

What? I thought, has ambition become a dirty word?

I started to ask other young women I knew, and most of them rejected the term. They saw ambition as this heavy, unattainable thing that just led to burnout, pressure, and chasing approval instead of fulfillment.?

And that got me thinking… what are we talking about anyhow when we talk about ambition?

That’s the subject of today’s conversation. I’m sitting down with two accomplished women from LinkedIn—Ahyiana Angel (who considers herself post-ambition) and Hayley Saltzman (who, as I said above, does not want you to call her ambitious). Together, we challenge the conventional wisdom around ambition and tackle the hard questions: What if we stopped living for others’ approval and started living for ourselves?

Here’s what you’re going to get from this episode:

• The Tension Between Extrinsic and Intrinsic Ambition – What if the ambition we’ve been chasing isn’t ours to begin with? We dig into why external validation might be holding us back, and how to find true motivation from within.
• How Society Limits Women’s Ambition – Let’s face it: the way ambition is framed in our society is often gendered and restrictive. Ahyiana and Hayley share how they’ve navigated these biases and found their own paths.
• What Happens When You Quit the Dream Job – Ever felt like the “dream job” just wasn’t right for you? We talk about what it’s like to walk away from what you thought you wanted, and why personal growth is worth more than any title.
• Fear and Ambition – Spoiler alert: fear is part of the deal. But what if we leaned into it instead of running away from it? Fear can be a powerful force when it’s used as fuel for growth.
• Reconnecting With Your Ambitions – Practical tips to help you reconnect with your own ambition and self-worth, and start living a life you actually want—not the one someone else has designed for you.

And I should say here that I think of you as the fourth person at this table. You’ll have your own perspective on ambition, and I hope you’ll give yourself space to examine it. If you’re so inclined, please share it with me.

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Office Hours!

We’ll be taking this conversation to Office Hours this week. Senior producer Sarah Storm and I go Live from the LinkedIn News Page to chew on the episode’s ideas with you. You can find us right here on Wednesday afternoon at 3pm EST.

Hello Monday is LinkedIn News’ weekly podcast about the changing nature of work—and how we must change to keep up. It's hosted by me, Jessi Hempel. Subscribe to the show's newsletter.

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