On Ambition...

Last week was tough... I had 5 days of workshops. On the one hand this is very exhausting especially if you end up delivering courses in multiple different locations. But at the same time these workshops with various groups also result in many new connections and stories.

One of my course participants really enjoyed the content of our Agile Leadership course especially the way I described the role of leaders in organizations. From my perspective, leaders have the following key responsibilities:

1. Craft a vision of where we want to go... Roger Martin would refer to this is as "Where to Play"
2. Define a strategy on how we want to get there... this is what Roger refers to as "How to Win"
3. Create an environment where all the day to day decisions can be taken by teams or even individuals throughout the organization

That third point means that leaders shift from being decision makers themselves to becoming enablers of decision making in others.

Crafting a vision, defining a strategy, and ultimately creating the environment clearly requires a lot of work on the side of the leader...

The course participant - let's call her Jane - asked me: "What if my direct boss and the senior leadership of our company incl. the CEO do not want to embark on a journey where they do these three things? What if they just want to play it safe and continue with business as usual?"

I asked her, what would happen if they want to play it safe instead of aiming for meaningful change?

Her response: "Then we would remain like we are today... and maybe at some point new competitors will eat our lunch. But for now we would probably be fine."

I digged further: "What would that mean for you?"

Her response: "I believe I would be bored... as I would not grow in any meaningful way. Not grow in terms of creating new products with my teams, not grow in terms learning about organizational change, not grow in terms of developing my direct reports."

I now opened the conversation to include the rest of our participants by asking: "What is the fundamental issue here? What is the root cause of Jane's frustration?"

Silence... everyone was processing but for now, nobody had an answer.

So I started to tell a story...

You might remember the story I shared last week - if not, I recommend you read that article as well. I shared how my son's team had lost 11:0 in their season-opening football match.

Obviously my son was very frustrated... but he took a lesson from this which was to pull himself out of the victim mindset into becoming a shaper.

He also understood that he was different from most of his team members... Different in terms of their ambition.

His aim by playing football is to get so good so that he can become a professional player some day whereas most of his teammates just play for fun. That is a different ambition.

When he steps on the pitch, his aim is to win the game whereas the others - or at least some of them - just play to not lose or not lose too bad. That is a different ambition.

When he goes to practice, which he does five times a week - in various settings - he wants to push himself to full exhaustion whereas the others either don't show up or just want to play around. That is a different ambition.

There is no right or wrong in terms of ambition. But it is incredibly important to be aware that ambition can differ and that is in many cases the root cause of a interpersonal issue.

There is no way that my son will be happy in his current team unless he dials down his ambition or the others dial up theirs - which probably won't happen.

Accepting or acknowledging the fact that ambition levels differ is the first step to finding a solution... which might also mean that people part ways.

Mary Parker Follett described a conflict as "an appearance of difference - a difference of opinions". Once we identify that difference we can deal with the conflict in a non-emotional and thus constructive and pragmatic way.

For my son this means he will probably have to move from his current team to a team that is more ambitious. A team that plays to win. A team that practices hard to grow every single player. A team where everyone is committed and shows up for every training session.

Back to Jane...

After sharing my son's story with her and the rest of the class, I could see how she took a deep breath. She had understood that at the root of her frustration was a difference in ambition. It was not personal... it was just that she and her employer were aiming for different things in the long run.

One wanted to maintain the status quo... the other was hungry for more.

One wanted to stay in the comfort zone... the other wanted to push boundaries.

One wanted to play to not lose... the other wanted to play to win.

After that conversation with Jane, I had a revelation... I could see the different levels of ambition at many of my clients. This was probably the root cause of so much frustration and could be resolved if more companies and more people talk openly about what their ambitions are.

Two of the companies that I have studied extensively - Tesla and Netflix - are very open when it comes to their level of ambition. Netflix covers their ambition in the Netflix Culture Deck and Tesla has their Anti-Handbook Handbook.

The best professional sports teams are very clear on their level of ambition when they recruit new players to join their team... are we playing to not lose or are we playing to win?

I believe every company should state as clearly as possible what their level of ambition is towards their employees. Making this transparent is the foundation of finding good fit.

The story I want to close with today is one of the most important ones in my life. My wife and I studied at the same university but were in different departments... she wanted to become a dentist and I wanted to become a real doctor... this is our running joke ;-)

We had many shared lessons so we had seen each other, many shared friends so we had attended the same parties, but we had never spoken.

By the end of her studies (dentists finish a year earlier than the "real" doctors), I knew this was the last chance to get to know her. So I asked a shared friend if he could make an introduction so that I could ask her out.

We texted and finally agreed to meet at a cafe... I was there, 5 minutes early, making sure we have a nice table where we could hopefully spend a few hours talking.

When she arrived, I stood up to greet her... Instead of shaking my hand or giving me a hug, she said: "I don't cook, I don't wash, and I don't clean!"

That was is it... no hello or anything.

I quickly responded: "I love cooking, we will get a washing machine and a cleaning lady."

Her response: "OK... now we can sit down."

Why do I share this story as part of this article? She immediately set expectations. She knew she wanted to be a full-time working dentist. That was her ambition.

She needed a husband that understood what she aimed for and was willing to support her on that journey or at least not be an impediment towards her ambitions.

I knew from past experiences that I was incapable of reading between the lines. Based on her very clear communication style I knew I would never have to read between the lines... She would tell me straight.

I also knew we had similar ambitions in life.

Today almost 20 years later we built the life we both dreamed of. Of course we had our ups and downs, similar to all couples I know. But these were never due to us differing in our ambitions.

I believe that sharing ambitions is the foundation of every relationship... be it the one between husband and wife, between employer and employee, or between teammates on a football team.

So my advice to all of you... trigger that tough conversation on ambition and understand where each party stands. What do we aim for, what are we willing to do for it and what are we willing to sacrifice for it.

#FromNothingComesNothing