Ambiguous and Subtle Bias: Camouflaged foe of Women in Leadership

‘Second generation gender bias’ – I heard this phrase for the first-time last month in the backdrop of International Women’s Day campaigns and posts. And my first reaction was what is this new jargon from organizational psychology. Upon further reading, I could only say that it is 100% true and infact I have experienced the wrath of this camouflaged foe multiple times myself.

Before dwelling further, I would like to add that the intent of this post is not to open a jar of complaints and portray women as victims, but rather to improve our self-awareness on this topic, acknowledging that this is a challenge and hopefully one day we can reverse this subtle gender bias that persists in organizations and in society at large.

So, what is ‘second generation gender bias’? It is an unconscious bias, action and behavior from our patriarchal society that subtly communicate a hostile, superior, or otherwise prejudiced attitude towards women! It is work culture and practices that don’t seem to be particularly harmful on their own, in fact - they sound like friendly remarks or open genuine advice but when you add them all up, it seems insurmountable. We could call these passive-aggressive behaviors as ‘microaggressions’ – and they imply disrespect and exclusion. Full stop.

Let me share few examples of these subtle biases faced by women both at work and outside workplace and how they are dangerous:

‘You are good at delivering results like a tenacious soldier, but do not have strategic vision or charisma like a general’ as if they were ever offered a leadership role to prove it wrong. Biased practices perpetuate the myth that leadership is men's domain and operational roles are for women. Men get promotion based on their potential and network and trust whereas women get it based on their past accomplishments. Perhaps the first roadblock for women is not the ‘glass ceiling’ but rather their first promotion to ‘manager’ roles.

‘Do you think you would be able to manage a promotion and move to new continent with a 6 month old kid’ as if it is a sin to share child rearing and household responsibilities with a partner. There are preconceived notions that young mothers will not be open to international assignments?and step-up. Instead of letting her decide what works best for her, organizational system assumes and impedes women’s leadership journey.

‘You should tone down and be more diplomatic – you are too aggressive and direct’. Results-oriented, articulate, transparent and decisive women are viewed negatively because these traits do not align with traditional expectations of femininity hiring. Traits commonly associated with competence and leadership are simply overlooked or criticized when displayed by women but rewarded and praised when displayed by men. Think of pushy wall street banker who is not venerated for such displays.

‘Really, are you working 100% with 2 kids?’ this is coming from your neighbors and pediatrician - as if women should be guilty about it. The social stereotype is that women lose their work commitment and competence after they have children and that mothers can’t commit to both a career and raising a family at the same time.

‘Oh you must be lucky to get this role’, coming from your peers as if the hard work and skills had no role to play for this well-deserved leadership role. Women have to provide more evidence of competence than men in order to be seen as equally competent – they have to prove themselves again, and again, and again.

‘VC fund denying funding to a start-up owned by a couple’ - why because they think women in that co-founder team is just for a name and doesn't deserve it?

‘You don't have commercial /marketing experience, so the path is GM or CFO of small country first and then big’ and yet again rules are different for men than women. We see men getting promoted to big markets right after being a function/division head but women needing to take on small markets as interim steps, decelerating their careers and taking them out of succession pools that feed executive opportunities.

‘If we allow flexi-work time option to senior women leaders, others in the organization will ask for it even more and will not set the right precedent’ rejecting the request of a senior HR leader who actually drafted the flexi-work policies and got it approved within the organization – which is a leading advisory firm. So, on paper the picture is rosy with friendly policies but not really in practice.

Unlike overt bias, where we can see the obvious discrimination and are likely to turn outwards in the organization to seek help, ambiguous bias leave women confused and frustrated. Struggling to make sense, we tend to turn inwards, start self-doubting, try to navigate by working even harder – but get stuck in this self-limiting vicious loop. We need to understand that when women are feeling ‘imposter syndrome’, such feelings do not exist in vacuum. Those self-deprecating and belittling feelings have been reinforced by the experiences we have had. Often times, there is a context and an environment and culture affecting our limiting beliefs about ourselves.

So, where does this subtle bias lead us to?

Unequal access to opportunities. Due to this prevailing bias that women cannot step up and network and lead, often times we lose out on accelerated career track and promotions that men would take up. In my view, no one is born leader. Leadership is a iterative process, we all have to practice it out and bluff it and internalize the leadership identity until we are finally there.

Dearth of female leaders at top as well as in the pipeline. Men and women think differently and have different preferences, perspectives. As a human, we tend to have affinity with people who are like us...similar background, culture, career trajectories etc and we tend to pitch for them or support them. There is lack of women leaders who see potential in other women and vouch for their promotion! There should be more of women sponsorship and mentorship to let them come out of their coccon and create a coherent narrative about where they are right now and who they want to become.?We need to provide girls with successful role models that ‘inoculate’ them, giving them a social vaccination to boost their motivation and protect them from harmful stereotype.

Double standards in evaluation.? Women are supposed to act in a certain way – they should avoid disagreements, shouldn't feel insulted, should say sorry, sideline self-time and their priorities. Because if they won’t – they will be labelled intrusive and difficult, as if they were jumping on to another person’s domain/functional area. We need to understand that women who speak up or are decisive are simply assertive, not aggressive; just like their male counterparts. Similarly, traits associated with leadership, more often displayed by women like navigating conflict, team-work, displaying vulnerability and authenticity can be as successful as other leadership approaches and need not be overlooked when displayed by women.

Work life balance expectations. Women who want to balance family or personal situations are penalized leading to their contributions being undervalued or overlooked compared to men. Pre-covid era, when women used to request work from home to balance childcare responsibilities, they were frowned upon and met with denial. Pandemic thankfully showed to the world that balancing work and life is very much possible – and it is not necessary that one comes at the expense of the other.

Who is stopping women? Is it ‘me’ or is it the ‘system’? These questions will always emerge, and it is very difficult to differentiate. But let’s pause for a moment and acknowledge that these biases and roadblocks do exist – whether conscious or unconscious. And let’s all strive to challenge and mend our own limiting beliefs and stereotypes.?

What’s your take on this?