Amber, Johnny and Mona Lisa: having their cake and eating it.

Amber, Johnny and The Mona Lisa:

Having their cake and eating it!

Sadly, the war in Ukraine rages on and continues to pose a threat to us all, but this last week’s big news stories, in the media at least have been all about the defamation trail between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard and the attack on Da Vinci’s?Mona Lisa, in the Louvre art gallery in Paris.

I’m an art lover. My life has always been enlivened and made better by art – of all descriptions; whether a painting, a ballet, a sculpture or some other form of moving art, which one review of the attack on the Mona Lisa, suggested it could be considered to be….I loved that!

All credit to the attacker who, (hear the music from The Thomas Crown Affair in your head at this point) evaded security to reach his goal by posing as an old lady in a wheelchair. He reached his target unmolested, launched the cake and hit the enigmatic, half smiling lady with a full body blow. I believe if you look closely you will see that her smile has improved slightly – after all, who doesn’t like cake?

The painting was in truth unharmed, as it is well protected behind bullet proof glass. The motives of the attacker seem unclear, but his brief sojourn in the media spotlight has been well earned and I hope the authorities don’t come down too hard on him. All in all, I think I’d like to buy him a beer and I complement him on his inventiveness and audacity.

Mr Depp and Ms Heard clearly both sought to have their cake and eat it and I cannot find favour with either of them in their audacious, artful and thoroughly unappealing efforts to harm the other. Lying was what I believe both indulged in ad nauseam and in a fashion that presented a very ugly canvas of their relationship to the world.

I followed the trial piecemeal, picking up the salacious titbits on offer in the media, but always believing that, although far from innocent, it was Mr Depp who had truly suffered more: at the hands of a scheming, manipulative, perhaps violent woman who, at the end of the day, wasn’t as good an actor in the courtroom as her adversary. Amber fluffed her lines too often and her overly emotional defence appeared contrived. Apparently, there is a possibility that she will face further legal action on the basis that she perjured herself during this trial. Oh wow, really…because of course no one ever does that do they?

I think people do. I believe that the legal process here and in the USA – and probably everywhere in the world is undermined consistently by people lying in the witness box. After all, the very fabric of western society and culture is now seemingly balanced between combatants who lie continually, believing that whoever lies best is best for us. It’s a sickening society we are in, well represented to us by this trial. Don’t condemn Amber and Johnny too harshly, they were just doing what so many do now, in a world increasingly lacking in simple human decency, honesty and forgiveness.

I have to admit though to being pleased with the outcome. The very fact that it has been determined by the jury that Amber Heard is guilty of defamation and, by association and on the basis of?the evidence presented is possibly herself an abuser, could and should have immense repercussions for the way male victims of domestic abuse, both physical and emotional, are treated in future. At the very least, more men might now have a chance to at least be heard (no pun intended).

In the UK and as I have experienced first-hand there is, at least in the Family Court, a pre-determined prejudice against men when it comes to resolving domestic disputes. That prejudice is rooted in the idea, which dominates our culture today that – with rare exceptions - a mother can do no wrong.

During the Depp vs Heard trial I read an editorial that appeared in The Independent newspaper (whether just online or also in hard copy I don’t know – I saw it online) on 27th May. It was written by Charlotte Proudman, whose Linked In profile identifies her as a barrister and in her introductory bio explains that: “Charlotte is known for her campaign work to change the law to ensure the better treatment of vulnerable women and victims of domestic abuse”.

I support that and it seems that Charlotte has done a great deal of very good work in advancing support for vulnerable and abused women. Her article on 27th May seemed to me to be centred on the view that Amber Heard was being misrepresented and misunderstood by the legal process and that this had been exacerbated by her being less popular with the public than Mr Depp. The following are quotes from her article that struck a real chord with me, (my brackets):

“Post separation coercive and controlling behaviour is one of the most insidious and corrosive forms of abuse”

and

“(Victims are) labelled with sexist diagnoses such as “histrionic” and (having) “borderline personality disorders” rather than (any) understanding that they are suffering with trauma caused by domestic abuse”

Charlotte was suggesting Amber Heard was a victim of the above behaviours and default thinking and perhaps she was. However, so was I. I was falsely dubbed emotionally unstable and a drunkard and even at one point it was suggested, with not a shred of evidence for this, that I may have “abused” my children. Many, many decent and loving fathers suffer the same, as they find themselves trapped in a legal process that, as certainly appeared to be the case overall in the article Charlotte Proudman wrote, only ever believes that women can be the victims.

We’ll almost certainly never know the whole truth in the Johnny vs Amber story, but at least the outcome of the trial has offered an opportunity for a fairer hearing for men in future…I hope! I wonder whether Charlotte would be interested to work to change the law to ensure that.

I should perhaps make it clear that I don’t think Mr Depp is Mr Innocent and I acknowledge too, as has been said elsewhere, that Amber Heard has probably detrimentally affected the momentum of the Me Too movement and the valuable and sincere efforts of that movement and associated campaigns, to eradicate the sexist and abusive treatment of women, particularly in Hollywood and in the entertainment industry at large. That is a sad and unfortunate outcome.

But: the result of this trial is I think justified. At least for today, I can for the first time in a long time also wear a half smile…and I feel a celebratory bit of cake wouldn’t go amiss.