Am I the working mum I wanted to be for my daughter?

Aged 28, 32 years ago I was loving a career, and feeling a huge sense of independence and achievement, I then embarked on the journey of motherhood.

I gave birth to Hannah Power in 1992. I was also blessed with two sons, in 1994 and 1997, Ross and Tj.

Today I thought I would write about being a mother of a daughter, the channel of change for womanhood, from my mum born in 1929, to Hannah in 1992. 65 years apart, with me in the middle.

What has changed?

1.????My mum was a housewife, a dedicated home worker, looking after 4 children, ensuring her husband had as little strain as possible outside of his work. Work and home had strong boundaries, without technology, my father could rest in the evenings and be home for dinner.

2.????I started my career at 19, and My mum was determined that I would be financially independent. She clearly found it very hard not having her own control over money.

3.????My workplace was tough, the first 2 female bosses I had did everything to prove that they were not women! They perceived being a women in the workplace was seen as weaker than men. My toughest bosses throughout my employed life were the women. This was the shoulder pad era, a fashion that reflected that women wanted to look broad shouldered, to be able to carry the load.

4.?????Business was social, and transactional. I loved my colleagues, and the loyalty we had to one another in the office was huge. The Pizza evenings when we worked late together, the celebrations, the lifting one another up across the telesales room when a big order was achieved, the bell ringing.

5.????When I became a boss, I chose to be the loving one, to show people that kindness and love actually works?business. I had to be pretty resilient to be that person. I didn’t fit into the norm. But it worked. My mum didn't ask me about my work, it was alien to her. Our worlds started to divide.

6.????My mum was my mum, never a friend, I was always on my best behaviour, she didn’t really know me, never laughed with me, never shared her pain with me. She was mum. I never got involved in housework, that was mums domain and she wanted it that way. It was her sense of pride.

7.????My mum believe she needed to be perfect. Life had to look perfect for my mum, no matter what was really going on. Her identity as a housewife was to be perfect!

So what about when I became a mum?

1. When I became a mum, I held onto the duties of home, children and balanced it all. I wanted to, I was trying to be the mother I had, at home, home looked after. I tried to do it all.

2. I wanted to be a friend and a mum, to share the journey of life and laugh and cry with my children.

3. Perhaps I shared too much when life was tough, the guilt I felt when I was not everything I wanted to be. I was very open, against the backdrop of my own mum being so closed.

4. My children see me as a fulfilled women, and we relate to one another in business, they mentor me, I mentor them. I see my mum now with sadness, she was not able to achieve her potential. I know she would have been amazing if business had also been her world.

5. I learned to share the housework with the children and Thomas, my husband, as everyone got older. Letting go felt bad, but I couldn't do it all.

6. Our children listened to all the business talk and learned what money and business was.

7. They knew when life was challenging and they knew if I had worries. I chose this path as my mum was just ‘unhappy’ but I never knew why. I wanted to help my kids understand the world and be prepared.

8. We all grew up together, me learning to be a mum and knowing I wasn’t perfect. My children teaching me the way, the path, when I needed to learn from them

9. I am mum and a friend. And I am not perfect.

10. I ask my children where I went wrong, and we discuss it, I never want to go to the grave and know that things were unsaid. I know I am not perfect, but they know I try.

?and what about now and the future?

I see my daughter, a loving independent women, who has the resilience for life, the zest for life, the ability to adapt and ensure that she can flex to the world that we now have. She is 100% herself, she does not need to adapt who she is, it is who she is that the world needs. |

Hannah loves, cares for many, has boundaries, knows what she wants knows what she doesn’t want. Innovates, adapts and wants to contribute to everyone, without loosing herself. She has been through a huge amount in her 31 years, and each day, she inspires me to be a better person because I see that she will never be a victim, blame others or take the easy path, she is a modern women.

This is a great time for women, so long as we allow ourselves to be women, we are loving, we are kind, we are caring, we are listeners, we are funny. We have so much to bring to business when technology and Ai are dehumanising the workplace. We can bond people, show them that they matter, create belonging, create family within the businesses that we serve, to show employees and customers that they matter.

So thank you mum, for allowing me to grow, to helping me see the life you had, the life I wanted and inspiring me to be the mum I am.

I am not perfect, I am me, and my goodness, I am so proud of the daughter I have, I am that channel of change.

So today on IWD, know that you don’t have to look perfect, you are perfect. The world needs women who allow themselves to be vulnerable, loving, kind and imperfect. This is a great time to be a women. Let’s celebrate.

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