Am I On The Right Path?

Whoah…that’s a lofty question, right? Shouldn’t I know the answer to that? You’d think after all of my years leading teams of people, scaling up organizations and attaining results I should be on the right path. Recent events this year have made me question many things, including my impact on my professional goals.

At 47, I think that’s only natural. But instead of burying those thoughts and persevering through situations, I decided to explore what was coming up for me. What had jolted me so significantly that I began to regret choices I had made? Oh that’s right…I’m going through a divorce.

Yeah, funny how a little thing like a relationship break-up can make you question why you are getting up in the morning, rushing around to hit deliverables and somehow feel like you are contributing to something big in the world. I’ve never been into working for a pay cheque. I typically jump with both feet into a role and company because I want the work I am leading to have as much of my attention. I gravitate to complex and challenging situations. I like conflict and I like to push myself to take on the impossible. Not wise when you are moving out of a 20-year long relationship and when kids are involved. Super, great kids that look to you for balance, love and reassurance. Ok so I blew that. Now what?

Well you’ve probably noticed that I started blogging two years ago and then stopped earlier this year. I was stumped. I started feeling my mind wander. I started to lose my concentration. I definitely wasn’t sleeping much and I was continually worrying about what I was going to do next. Not great for writing material. Then in August I came across a post from one of my favorite bloggers – Jessica Stillman. She was sharing some of the work by writer Alexandra Franzen on how to reflect on the course of your work and life and a way to get yourself back up to full speed again. The leading questions seemed interesting at the time but my cynical-self popped up and squashed any hope of productive reflectivity. I shelved them.

Fast forward to now. I resigned my position as Vice President of Pink Ops at Nurse Next Door two weeks ago. This didn’t come about as easy as writing it two seconds ago. I hummed over this decision for a few months, and probably was already living that state of mind a few months before. I found Franzen’s reflective questions this past weekend and started to work through them. This is what I have learned so far:

What were my goals at the beginning of this year?

·       I am setting out to scale Nurse Next Door’s operations for international expansion.

·       I’m launching a new consumer site with our online team.

·       I am developing elearning curriculum to our 5000 caregivers and care designers on how we deliver a WOW customer experience to our clients.

·       I see LIVE music concerts with some of my favorite bands like Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Coldplay, U2 and Bruno Mars.

·       I travel along the west coast with my daughters to LA, Tofino/Uclulet and Hawaii.

·       I spin 3 days per week.

Are my goals the same – or have things changed?

Things have changed quite a bit. By November 2018

·       I take a gap year (or semi-gap year) from work in 2018.

·       I buy a home for myself and my daughters.

·       I fundraise $12K Cdn for Imagine 1 Day to build schools and then join in a 2 week teaching trip with Lightyear Leadership in Ethiopia. More details here!

·       I speak at four conferences and increase my network to 15,000 followers.

·       I attend a global conference on the environment and/or economy.

·       I write 56 blogs and share on LinkedIn.

·       I take the kids to Hawaii, Italy, Portugal and Ossoyos.

·       I read 25 business books, 2 biographies and 5 fiction books.

·       I travel to India with my besties.

·       I see Coldplay, Foo Fighters, the Lumineers, and see an outdoor concert on a grassy knoll.

·       I spin 3 days a week at Method.

·       I go to The Class at TurF every week.

·       I recite my personal declarations and share gratitudes daily.

·       I complete the Whistler Gran Fondo.

Is there something I’ve been doing lately that’s not feeling “right” anymore? Do I need to keep doing it? What would happen if I stopped?

Working. I actually love to work so taking a full year off is going to be nerve-wracking at first. What if I can’t get another job in a year? What if my skills are outdated? What if employers think I am flakey?

I actually believe that by not working, I will have a vast space of possibilities to explore. I won’t have any daily commitments like meetings, hiring a team member, etc. to juggle. I can wake up, connect with what’s important – my family, my finances, my friendships, or my network, and start to create a new path for my work and life.

What’s something I’m sick of hearing myself say, over and over?

2017 has been a year of fear. Fear of making catastrophic mistakes. Of saying the wrong thing, or saying the right thing but at the wrong time. Of experiencing the slow drip of failure.

That’s not me. I take risks openly and confidently. I put myself out on a thin line and ready to take on critics. I’m going to leverage the most of this year away from work. I will read more, experience more and live and love more to the fullest.

What’s something I definitely want to create, achieve, or experience before the end of 2018?

I want to explore what it would look like to start my own company. This has been a goal I set out for when I am 55 years old. I want to experiment with bringing this goal closer to now.

Who are some people I admire right now and want to learn from?

These people are coming up in no particular order or ranking: Cameron Laker, Barb Agostini, Susan Karda, Susanne Conrad, Steph Corker, Kristian Gaetano, Lorie Corcuera, Pippa Morgan, Paul Cortissoz, Lewisa Anciano, Nancy Laughton, Esther McGregor, Lyndsey Hannigan, Keri Bosch Fraser, Jackie Ross.

This a good list right now. Don’t worry if you don’t see your name on there. I have a year to reach out to you!

Who’s someone who’s been an important part of my life this year?

Next to my daughters, there are two people that have been essential to my life this year:

·       Claudia Vorlaufer – Claudia is the VP of Procurement at Earls Restaurants. We met when I was on the leadership team at Earls. Our friendship grew as the work relationship grew. But not having worked at Earls for the last 2 years, Claudia has been a great listener for me this year. I am most appreciative for the whimsical trip we took to Whistler for a spa, food and wine weekend back in August. Her ability to hear me out and deliver such compassionate advice was greatly needed.

·       Lynda-May O’Brien – Lynda-May is my Mom. Mom has been an incredible force to learn from and be inspired by. Mom lost my step-father Terry 2.5 years ago. She’s been fearless and has generated a new level of confidence I haven’t seen before. Every time I felt winded, she aired me out!

What’s something I see out in the world that breaks my heart? What could I do, say, create or contribute to be “part of the solution”?

I registered to go to Ethiopia in 2018 with the Lightyear Leadership team to facilitate their self-leadership programs. As a registrant I am fundraising $12,000 CDN to go towards our in-country travel and accommodations, as well as building schools with Imagine 1 Day. I have been reading up on Ethiopia so I can know more about their history and how our work with Lightyear Leadership can have the positive impact on their citizens. My intention for going is to contribute to the great work Imagine 1 Day has been leading in Ethiopia, give tools to young people to develop a vision and goals for their life and to widen my global leadership scope.

This year, one of the best decisions I made was…leaving Nurse Next Door. I know that if I stayed I wouldn’t been focused or intentional with my work, my conversations and my output. I know it was a hard decision to make and an even tougher one for the team I am leaving behind. People counted on me and I had committed my efforts and responsibility to them. My new commitment is to learn how to regain workable relationship with key members of this organization.

This year, I feel proud of myself because…I am taking a big risk to believe in myself and my abilities to create a new path for my work and life.

...and it's a wrap!

So if you’re like me in the slightest way, you’ll want to explore these same statements/questions on your own with your journal or blog, with a friend over a glass of cab, or with your work team members so you build an even stronger bond over the year ahead.

I invite you to check back in weekly to learn about my discoveries and experiences during my gap year.

Have a great week!

Brenda