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Am I practicing what I preach?

Karim Abouelnaga, SHRM-SCP

Founder & CEO at PRACTICE Benefit Corp.

发布日期: 2024年5月5日

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Sunday, May 5th, 2024

Happy Cinco de Mayo to all who are celebrating!?

This could be wishful thinking, but I believe most of us understand the distinction between right and wrong. We recognize the importance of establishing rules and adhering to them, whether formally through the legal system or informally through our values. As an educator, I understand that children communicate through their behavior. As an adult, I often find myself wishing people would simply follow my instructions – except when I prefer they understand my intentions because what I said wasn’t precisely what I meant. Confusing, isn't it?

Similarly, saying one thing and doing something entirely different is perplexing. Gandhi stumbled upon something profound when he said, “be the change you wish to see in the world.” We are accountable for exemplifying the behavior we wish to see in others. Let the rest follow suit. It’s crucial to pause occasionally and evaluate whether we are genuinely practicing what we preach, as actions speak louder than words. Perhaps, as adults, when we witness a child misbehaving, it should serve as a reminder to reflect on our own conduct as well.

Below, I offer some recommended resources to assist us with the question of the week. I’ll post my reflection before the end of the week on YouTube .

Resources to Complement Our Reflection

[Internalize]: For nearly 30 years, Gandhi led the movement that eventually forced Britain to grant independence to India, its most prized colony, in 1947. Today India is the world’s largest democracy, and it has the fifth largest economy in the world, according to the International Monetary Fund. “The message Gandhi stood for was that public service or politics was not just about power, but about something larger.” “The first principle of nonviolent action,” he wrote, “is that of noncooperation with everything humiliating.” He rejected modernity, wore simple clothes to identify with the poor, and advocated for the Dalits, known then as the “untouchables,” the lowest caste in India’s traditional social hierarchy. In 1955, when Martin Luther King Jr. was chosen to lead the Montgomery bus boycott in Alabama, he looked to Mohandas Gandhi for inspiration. Gandhi’s ability to bring about change through love and nonviolence, King said, gave him “the method of social reform I had been seeking.” “Gandhi resisted evil with as much vigor and power as the violent resister,” King said, “but he resisted with love instead of hate.”

[Apply]: Bring to mind someone whose actions have inspired you. What about their actions makes that person such an inspiration?

Read: The Legacy of Gandhi - 5 mins. - By Joe Bubar

[Internalize]: We know that hard work and preparation are crucial to success, but when it comes time to choose between study and play, many of us choose the easy path. As adults, we know that kindness and civility are what allow communities to function, yet when we are late or upset we often act impulsively. We know we should visit elderly parents or stay in touch with friends who have fallen on hard times. We know we should exercise regularly and make time to eat healthy. We know sleep and social connection are engines for contentment and wellbeing. We know these things, but it is so tempting to settle a little deeper into the couch, crack open a fizzy drink, and let Netflix autostream another episode of our favorite show. The hypocrisy paradigm is about making people aware of the fact that they are behaving hypocritically and the only way to change that is for them to stop behaving in a way that is in line with their public statements. People were a lot more likely to follow through when they made public declarations to change their behavior.?

[Apply]: Make a public declaration to kick a bad behavior from your life. It can be as small as taking shorter showers to preserve water or as big as something life altering like leaving an unhealthy work environment.??

Listen: Outsmarting Yourself - 45 mins. - Hidden Brain?

[Internalize]: The Fudge Factor is the ability to misbehave and think of ourselves as good people. That is, cheating just a little bit so that we don't have to pay any price in terms of the image that we view ourselves in. When six cans of Coke were placed in a communal fridge, they disappeared almost immediately. When six one dollar bills were put on a plate in a communal fridge, they never got taken. How bad would you feel about taking a pencil from work home compared to taking $0.10 from a petty cash box? When you take money, you can't help but think you're stealing. When you take a pencil, for example from work, there's all kinds of stories you can tell yourself. You can say this is something everybody does. Or, if I take a pencil home, it's actually good for work because I can work more. It's the same thing with the cans of Coke. You can say to yourself, maybe somebody left it on purpose, or somebody took mine once so it's okay for me to take this. When a bad actor is part of the in-group, cheating for the in-group goes up. When a bad actor is not part of the in-group, cheating for the in-group goes down. That’s because it sets the norms for cheating. When someone from our group cheats it makes it ok to cheat. When someone we don’t want to associate ourselves with cheats, awareness of honesty goes up and people cheat even less.

[Apply]: Reflect on what it would take to eliminate the fudge factor from your life.