Am I lucky or is privilege real?

At my company I'm proud to say our 2022 focus area is Sustainability. The month of May is focused specifically on diversity. Today my manager challenged everyone on a global call to personally get more involved. Thus, I've decided to share the article below publicly instead of waiting for the fall when I intended to share with my HR team during some training.

Am I lucky or is privilege real?

I’ve asked myself that question in a variety of ways over the years.?I’ve spent some time thinking about my personal situation during the first 40+ years of life.?I took time to write these down to discuss with my wife, adult children, and close friends.?After sharing this I then had discussions with them on the question above.?Below you will find a look at some of the key items I considered and my thoughts after the discussions with those I trust the most.

I’ll start with some family & personal background.

I was born from teen pregnancy of 17-year-old parents.?Tried marriage but it quickly ended in divorce.?

Mom remarried but alcohol was a key part of my mother’s & stepfather’s (dad’s) life.??My dad went through in-patient treatment for alcoholism 3 times and my mother probably should have too.?

One of the obvious problems with alcohol is it is hard to keep a job and be addicted.?This caused my dad to lose many jobs. ?I grew up pretty darn poor and we moved often. ?I usually changed schools every 6 to 18 months. ?

I wasn’t a stupid kid but I certainly didn’t apply myself as my primary focus was on fitting in at my new school and avoiding my dad when he was drunk when he changed from a great guy to a mean and violent man.?

Now that I’ve provide a family background, I want to tell you about others who impacted my life.?Each of the following people had a choice on how they dealt with me and I see their choices as having really helped me in some way.

·????????In 8th grade a math teacher & coach happened to know my dad because his wife and my mom shared a room when they both had a baby.?This teacher reached out to my parents and told them that I wasn’t applying myself.?He said I certainly was ready for the more advanced math classes beginning in 9th grade.?He also knew me from sports.?He knew that if someone told me I couldn’t do something I’d do everything I could to prove that person wrong.?He devised a plan with my dad that he would tell me he was recommending me for remedial math in 9th grade because he didn’t think I was smart enough to do the advanced or even the regular courses.?Although I changed schools after 8th grade, this pissed me off and I worked my butt off to prove him wrong.?Finally, as a senior in HS, I found him and told him I was going to major in mathematics in college and had been granted a math scholarship.?When I told him this he laughed hard. ?He told me what he and my dad agreed to that plan to push me.?When I called my dad he laughed even harder saying they pulled one over on me that really changed my education.

·????????In high school I had another math teacher & football/track coach who pushed me in every class, independent study & sport.?He was the supportive male I never had in my life.?He set up an independent study for me with the focus on taking a test that provided the top scorers a scholarship for college.?With his help, I was able to score near the top, so I received one of these scholarships and this allowed the poor kid to pay for some of the college.?This teacher could make me laugh &/or cry but maybe the most important thing is I always wanted to do well so I didn’t disappoint him.

·????????I had a high school principal who was the father of a friend who should have suspended me for a couple stupid teenage things I did during my high school years but didn’t.?But he always gave me the benefit of the doubt and believed that deep down I was a “good kid” and would be alright.

·????????My dad lost job due to alcohol during my junior year.?A friend’s parents agreed to have me stay at their house for the reminder of the school year and eventually agreed to let me stay for my senior year too.?This was a brave and maybe foolhardy move because my friend was a female in my class and she had a sister a year older.?(What parents in their right mind would allow a 16-year-old boy to move into a house with their 16 & 17-year-old daughters?)?My mom promised them that she would pay them a certain amount each month.?I don’t think that they received that money more than a couple times during my entire stay.?Staying with them allowed me to continue to get the support from the math teacher & others at the small school instead of entering a large metropolitan school where nobody would have known me.

·????????Before my grandmother died, I promised her I was going to go to and graduate from college.?Because of my close relationship with her I never even considered that I would do anything after high school than go to college.

·????????I went into college thinking I knew everything and was able to CLEP out of most of my math classes. I started my freshman year with a senior level math class.?I received A’s on the first half of the weekly tests.?Then the professor handed one test back to me face down.?She looked at me and said, “See me in my office at 7:00 tomorrow morning.”?I turned it over and for the first time in my education I saw a F on that exam.?When I saw her the next morning instead of ignoring my problem, I remember what she said very well…. “I’ve seen hot shots like you that always have had things come easy and you never learned to study.?If you want some help, I’m willing to meet you every day at 7:00 the rest of the semester to make sure you learn how to study, pass this class and the others that will soon slap you across the face.”?I took her up on this and her efforts certainly helped me learn to study and get through any college class.

·????????My girlfriend was still in high school and we decided that as soon as she graduated we would inform everyone we were engaged and getting married.??Soon after we started telling people we were getting married we found out (at 21 & 18) that we were about to have a baby.?I quit college & worked full time (still without insurance but could better pay for the costs of having a baby).

·????????We had the baby c-section and were told what we owed the hospital.?They asked if we would pay cash or if we were going to pay by check.?That was the best joke in years as we had about 1/100 the cost in our checking account.?We eventually set up a payment plan with the hospital.

·????????We left the hospital in a Chevy Vega with more rust than paint.?It had bald tires and was missing the muffler.?It was in such bad condition that we needed to drive on certain roads because it couldn’t make it up some of the hills in the town we lived in at the time.?The baby seat we had was very old & unsafe and probably wasn’t able to be buckled to the standards at the time.?But the nurses helped us into the car and wished us well.

·????????As previously stated, I promised my grandmother that I’d graduate from college.?Even though she wasn’t with us I wanted to fulfil that promise.?So, after having the baby & paying her off, I needed to find a way to get back to school this meant finding jobs that allowed me to support the family but also be flexible enough to go to school.?One of my brother-in-law’s helped me get a job driving a city bus from around 6:00 to 9:00 AM & on Saturdays.?This allowed me to go to school until I needed to drive for the other job starting at 3:00 PM.?Without that help from my brother-in-law I wouldn’t have been able to get back to college.?

·????????Once back in college, I was taking a couple computer classes but with my work schedule the computer lab wasn’t open when I wasn’t working or in class and I couldn’t have everything wait for a weekend.?This meant I was going to have to drop out of college again.?I explained this to one of my professors and she said that “If I didn’t tell anyone..” she would allow me to use her old Commodore 64 until I could buy one of my own AND use her log in so I could do work over the telephone lines (imagine that in the mid-80’s).?The access she gave me showed she trusted me not to look at or change grades because the access she gave me was for the system but also for all grading. If she didn’t trust me and give me access, I don’t know if I would have been able to continue college & graduate.

·????????After college I was working at plant in Chicago and it was going to close but that hasn’t yet been announced.?My HR boss wanted me to move to a plant in rural Minnesota.?The plant manager of that MN plant said he didn’t like or want me, but my HR boss pushed and ended up forcing me on him instead of being laid off in Chicago.

·????????A few years later I was working in Chicago again in a corporate position and I was asked to go to Colorado and help a new acquisition with some difficulties they were having hiring in engineering & maintenance. ?I went there and did phone interviews with several candidates.?I found a half dozen good people and took their resumes to the engineering manager to narrow the field and schedule face to face interviews.?He became very upset with me because told me he could tell they are all Hispanic, black, or female.?He told me to get him “Real people, people that look like him.”?I said “No, these are the best available.” and this led to the plant manager to tell me to either support his manager as my customer or get out of the plant.?Well, security ended up physically throwing me out of the plant.?Within a couple months that plant manager and engineer were fired, and I was asked to relocate there to be the HR manager where I really enhanced my labor relations skills.

·????????Again a few years later I was working in the Detroit area and realize that my eldest daughter has issues at school with kids who are celebrating the death of a celebrity black man who my daughter personally knew years prior.?I tell my company that I can’t continue to live there because, even though my oldest daughter has what I consider to be good core values, my youngest daughter will grow up with people who’s parents might condone this racism and my wife & I can’t risk that.?The HR VP doesn’t even ask any questions.?She quickly finds a new location and relocates me.

These are clear examples where people have either helped me directly or pushed me to help myself.?There are hundreds, if not thousands, of other points like this in my life and even more when you add those of my wife that helped us as a couple.

10 years ago, I would have argued with anybody who said I had any privilege.?I would have told them I was disadvantaged and I worked hard and occasionally was in the right place at the right time.?I might even say that I was lucky at times, but I would never say I benefited from privilege.?

Over the last decade my perspective has changed.?Today, I’m almost certain that if any one or two of the above didn’t turn out the way they did I wouldn’t be where I am today.?And I’m 100% positive that if I had been a black boy or young black man, I wouldn’t have had all the same support outside the family.?In most instances, I also think that if I changed black to Native American or Hispanic, I would have missed out on the same support.?Finally, I’m positive that if I had been female, disabled or LGBTQ, I wouldn’t have had all the same support & opportunities either.

So, I think that even though I was a poor kid who worked hard I certainly benefitted from privilege, I benefited because I am white, male, straight & able bodied.?

Now the question is how can I help those who have not received the privilege I have received??

You may disagree, but I feel that the first thing I need to do is share how I feel I benefited from privilege with others.?Maybe this will help them consider if they had any benefits of privilege, regardless if it was from race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, education, financial resources, country of birth, religion, or something else.?Then they can start considering what they can do.

I’m still working on the next steps and probably will be for the rest of my life.

Wayne Luedke-2022