AM I GOOD ENOUGH!!

In a recent exchange of messages, I genuinely complimented a neighbor, “you are a superwoman”.? She immediately asked ,”Really?! Why would you say so?”? Wish she knew the answer and took the compliments gracefully. I thought she was being humble. I said, “As a mother of two little kids, working full time, you also find time for your passion for cooking!” ? After this reminder, I thought she’d now accept the good words, but imagine what she replied : Wait, let me just replicate the conversation as a screenshot here, for authenticity sake : ??

Well now, WHAT IS CONSIDERED ENOUGH?!? Who is setting the standards and what exactly is the measure? What makes many of us feel ‘inadequate’, and how does that impact the way we think about ourselves and show up?!?

‘Am I good enough?’ is a gnawing question we fiddle with at some point or the other!?

When asked in the right spirit, It is a good question to ask oneself when we have much more knowledge to gain in a subject, professional heights to reach, higher goals to achieve.? It helps us to keep grounded, but motivated, have humility to be lifelong learners and develop a vision for ourselves.

The flipside is the low self-image, the constant comparisons with the illusory someone always better than thyself, and ‘I can’t put myself out there because I am not that good…’ syndrome.? I went through that phase for quite a bit of time in my life. It felt like the world was pacing ahead and I was just not able to catch up! Everybody else seemed to be superior in some way or the other. At the back of my mind, I always knew my capabilities, but kept doubting if I were worthy of that.? It was the time I took a career break. I thought I was being left behind in the race of life!!

RACE !! Haven’t we somewhere reduced our lives into a perennial ‘race’? ? From the day the child is born, the ‘supposed to…’ starts.? Constant competition, comparisons, struggles to catch up, watching over your shoulder checking for the others catching up and surpassing you, so plotting to move up and ahead, the push, the pull… Tiring just thinking about it!?

"So what do I do? Stand still? Let the world move ahead and snub me down?" I am asked, especially when I have conversations with parents who are in a frenzy pushing their children to ‘perform’ better.?

No please! That’s not what I mean.?

But, please!! Life is NOT a race. Many instances where you may win the competition, but lose ‘The Game’!!? If we miss the sight of sunrise and the smell of flowers along the way, while eyeing the destination, what you lose is Life.?

Life is a bunch of memories put together. We probably need to slow down to speed up. Developing an attitude of imbibing them, soaking in experiences and cherishing moments of life passing by, will give us a perspective and the real value of what Life is.? Relationships need to be nourished and developed, in every sphere of life, it is not about pushing or racing them. ? Allowing people to dream and follow their dreams and treasuring their achievements for their own sake, and not in comparison to the standards set by someone else, Isn't that possible?

I am good ! I am Good Enough!? I have miles to go, better places to reach, have role models inspiring me, but I am in a good place, wherever I am today. I appreciate people around me, and set higher standards for myself, but I am in a good place; People I made connections with make me what I am, making me rich and accomplished.?

I know I HAVE arrived!?