Am I Good Enough?

My Reflection on Self-Doubt and Growth.

It's approximately 10:00 AM, and as I approach the door of the Ridge Cafe, I spot my friend and doctor, Grace Mapunda, gazing at me from afar while sipping her black tea. The first thing that catches my eye is her black shoes with white stripes. These shoes reflect her personality—a hardworking individual with a packed Google calendar and an eagerness to tackle any task at a moment's notice. In short, Dr. Grace is a soldier awaiting orders, always prepared to confront challenges without hesitation.

I reach the counter, order my tea, and then join Dr. Grace at her table. It's been nearly three months since our last meeting, and it's a pleasure to see her again, especially after her busy work on mental health projects with various individuals and organizations. As our conversation unfolds, a tall, smart man with glasses and a youthful appearance joins us. He's a new face to me but acquainted with Dr. Grace from their time in medical school, albeit in different years. This man is Dr. Whitefrank Frank, and indeed, he lives up to his name's "whiteness."

After some introductions, we dive into a discussion centered on publishing books and tapping into external markets, particularly digital audiences and platforms. Despite my role as the only leadership consultant, there's a common thread uniting us all—our passion for writing and sharing knowledge in our respective fields. In essence, we are all authors.

To keep this story brief, this article doesn’t aim to recount our tea-drinking escapades or share anecdotes from our writing careers and medical school days of the two doctors around me. Instead, its purpose is to present an idea that emerged during our discussion about the consulting industry. As we discussed the industry and its challenges, we all agreed on one common struggle we’ve faced at different times—feeling inadequate. We’ve all grappled with the nagging question, "Am I truly smart enough for this?" This self-doubt often creeps in, causing us to question whether our abilities, strengths, or skills are sufficient to earn trust and deliver the results expected by our bosses, managers, or clients. So, I ask again, are you good enough? Whether you’re a consultant, doctor, engineer, teacher, or CEO of a top company, can you meet the expectations set for you?

This question can be answered from various perspectives, but today, let's explore two approaches and how we should tackle it in a way that fosters growth instead of hindering it.

The first approach treats the question as a threat. Have you ever received negative, unconstructive feedback from a client, team, or manager? If so, you likely felt like a failure, believing you couldn't measure up. These feelings erode our inner confidence in our abilities, strengths, and potential for growth. We may even become reluctant to face challenges, thinking the world demands more than we can offer, and we stay in our comfort zones. However, staying in our comfort zones limits personal growth and leads to stagnation. We must break free from these self-imposed constraints to thrive in our businesses and careers.

The second approach views the question as a wake-up call to improve our skills and abilities further. Personally, I've found it challenging to see this question as an opportunity for growth, often perceiving myself as not smart enough despite differing feedback from others and the two doctors at our table. The journey to growth is ongoing, and it's hard to notice progress day by day. Growth comprises a collection of small habits, skills, and knowledge accumulated over time, often referred to as "atomic habits" by James Clear.

While it's challenging to gauge growth daily, as we continue on our journey, we realize how far we've come from our previous selves. In this perspective, the question acts as a catalyst for growth, whether feedback is constructive or not. It adds fuel to our fire, turning us into sparks of growth, benefiting not only ourselves but also those around us. At this moment, whether you're good enough or not is irrelevant. What matters is the steps you're taking to meet the expectations of your clients, team, or manager. Can you deliver the desired results?

In our conversation, Dr. Grace shared her first experience on stage and how challenging it was to speak before a crowd. Did she fail? No! She possessed the skills, confidence, and courage to confront her fears and conquer the stage. What if she had given up, saying, "I'm not good enough"? Would she be where she is today? Probably not.

We all have fears and insecurities, common to all humans. It's natural to worry about something, but allowing worry and fear of failure to consume us impedes our growth and dims our inner light. As you ponder this topic, do you believe you're good enough?