Am I Crazy? Or...is it Perimenopause?

I thought I was going crazy...

My life was falling apart and no one could give me answers.?

At the age of 30, I was CEO of a thriving, award winning, Digital Marketing Agency. By the age of 45, I couldn’t drop my daughter to school without parking up somewhere to cry for 20 minutes after dropping her off.

I was anxious, depressed, aching all over and couldn’t hold a thought in my head. I joked to the world that I was the love child of Dory – the fish in Finding Nemo with memory problems, and Eeyore - the depressed donkey in Winnie the Pooh. But inside, I was struggling. My life was falling apart, and no one could give me any answers.

I thought I was losing my mind.

It started when I turned 40. My periods had got heavier and I was having trouble sleeping. Nothing unusual for a single, working mum going through the pressure of having my business acquired, I thought. I put it down to stress and kept going. But over the next 5 years, the symptoms piled up. Frozen shoulder, aching in my hips and knees, more trouble sleeping, even lower mood. Then came brain fog and extreme mood swings. And as the cherry on the shitty cake, recurring UTIs.

?I had seen GPs, physios, osteopaths, gynaecologists, urologists. None had given me answers. I’d been prescribed anti-anxiety meds, antidepressants and antibiotics. Not to mention, I’d had keyhole surgery on my shoulder. Nothing had worked. I was feeling helpless and hopeless. I did not know who I was anymore.

Then, a friend who is a couple of years older than me, had a suggestion. She had been going through some similar symptoms and after a visit to a specially trained women’s health nurse, had been diagnosed with perimenopause and put on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). She now felt, she told me, ‘Like myself again.’

So, I made one more appointment with my GP. It did not go well.

GP: Do you still have your period, and is it regular?

Me: Yes.

GP: Are you experiencing hot flashes?

Me: No.

GP: Then it’s not menopause.

I called my friend crying the next day. She called bullshit on the GP’s behaviour and referred me to a private menopause clinic some of her friends had visited. I booked an appointment for the following week.

I poured out every symptom I had had over the past 4 years. The pain, the low moods, the anxiety, the sleep issues, the UTIs, everything. For the first time, I felt like someone was listening. More than that, they knew just what was happening to me.

It had only taken nearly 5 years and ￡15k spent on unnecessary tests, appointments and medication. But finally I had my answer. Perimenopause.

What is perimenopause?

Menopause is when a woman’s ovaries stop producing eggs and her hormones levels fall. The clinical definition is when you haven’t had a period for 12 consecutive months. Thanks to champions such as Davina McCall, who has raised public awareness through documentaries and discussions, we know more than we did about this phase in women’s lives.

But what a lot of us are still in the dark about are the years leading up to menopause. This phase is known as perimenopause – meaning around menopause – and it can last around ten years. With the average age of menopause being at 51, that means that many women in their 40s will experience a whole raft of symptoms but thanks to a lack of awareness and training for doctors, they could be left not knowing what the hell is wrong with them.

Perimenopause symptoms

It is thought that there are 100 symptoms of perimenopause, ranging from hot flashes and period changes to aching joints and mood swings. Even my frozen shoulder and UTIs are well-documented symptoms. And yet, with all the medical professionals I had seen, not one had thought to explore perimenopause as an option.

?

Lack of education and training

90% of woman say they were never taught about either menopause or perimenopause in school. I certainly wasn’t. Everything I have learned was through my network of friends or on social media.

A recent survey revealed most GPs had no formal training on menopause?during their GP education. Let’s read that again. Something that over 50% of the population go through, and most GPs haven't had any formal training on it.?

And what little training they had back in medical school is likely to be woefully out of date.?

There isn’t even a page dedicated to perimenopause on the NHS site, it's just mentioned on a page on menopause.

The impact

The impact of perimenopause on women’s lives can be catastrophic.

The compounded effect of poor diagnosis, low awareness and quiet struggling have resulted in women suffering immense damage to our bodies, our careers and our relationships.

Workplace Impact:

A recent survey found that 1 in 2 women report menopause has impacted their job performance [1]

23% have considered quitting their job due to perimenopause symptoms [2]

Marital Strain:

Approximately 73% of women blamed menopause for the breakdown of their marriage, highlighting the significant strain it can place on personal relationships [3]

It can also be deadly.

Suicide rates for women aged 45 to 54 – the most common age for perimenopause and menopause – have risen 6% in 20 years[4]?

My cousin took her own life a couple of years ago. She was 49. I can’t help but wonder, could perimenopause have led to that? And could it have been different had she been given prescribed HRT?

?What changes are needed?

• GPs need formal and regular training in recognising the many, many symptoms beyond changes in periods.
• Women need to be educated on the impact of perimenopause – we need to create a culture where it is spoken about openly and honestly.
• Women should be unafraid to raise it with their healthcare providers.
• Businesses and employees must educate themselves on perimenopause and put support systems in place to support women.

What am I doing about it?

I never want a woman to go through what I did. So, I am doing something about it. I'm launching a podcast: “Am I crazy or…is it perimenopause?”.

The first episode is launching on Tuesday 28th January 2025.

In it, I speak to medical professionals, menopause specialists, business leaders, and – most importantly – other women who are on this journey. My hope is to educate, prepare and support women for this phase in their lives. Both inside and outside the workplace.

If you’re a woman between 35-55 years old, and you think you’re going crazy, have a watch.

If you’re a man who lives with, or works with a woman in this age range,? have a watch.

Then share it with your network to foster understanding and support. Because the only way we get through this is by looking out for each other.

[1] https://hellobonafide.com/pages/state-of-menopause-2024

[2] https://www.cipd.org/globalassets/media/knowledge/knowledge-hub/reports/2023-pdfs/2023-menopause-report-8456.pdf

[3] https://www.balance-menopause.com/menopause-library/emotionally-supporting-each-other-through-the-menopause/#:~:text=According%20to%20a%20survey%20of,increased%20domestic%20abuse%20and%20arguments.

[4] https://www.itv.com/news/2021-11-16/suicide-rates-in-women-of-menopausal-age-rise