Am I brave?

?I looked up in the dictionary how courage is defined and here's what I found:

"courage is the quality of someone who is not frightened or discouraged by difficulties and dangers".

?"courage is the ability to do something, to take a risk, in spite of strong fears or apprehension or danger."

"courage is an attitude toward danger characterized by a strong ability to overcome the fear associated with it".

In each of the definitions, the word danger appears, as well as action in spite of fear and overcoming difficulties. Looking at these definitions and the repeated words, it is hard not to resist the impression that it takes unknown circumstances or situations to be able to demonstrate courage. And perhaps that's why some people don't consider themselves brave, and they simply think: "this is normal after all, I'm not doing anything special".

I have caught myself in a similar pattern of thinking. Few years ago, my former boss told me that among the words he could use to describe me, courage comes first. I admit that surprised me a lot. I immediately caught myself thinking: "but what courageous am I doing?" And I began to reflect - since I am perceived this way (and, as it turned out, not only by my former boss), maybe there is something to think about.

So - what am I doing that has "earned" me the title of brave?

I stay true to myself. Yes I know, a rather trivial phrase. And how does courage supposedly relate to being yourself? And yet - in my opinion - it does. We live in a time of high consumerism and materialism, with increasing pressure to live beautifully and prosperously, always with a smile on our face. Social media reinforces this tendency and has an increasing influence on our lives. For me, being myself means having the courage to live my life, on my own terms and without succumbing to external pressure (just further fueled effectively by social media). To be myself also means, for me, not to play unnecessary roles, not to put on "masks", and to behave in the same way towards everyone, in every life situation - that is, to be consistent. Finally, to be myself means for me to live according to my true values – if honesty is important to me in every aspect of my life, I will not succumb, for example, to peer pressure to do something against myself (and my value).

I say what I think. And it's not that I talk without thinking first or without considering the other person's feelings. But if I have something to say, I will say it with due respect. And I don't beat around the bush, I don't play diplomat (because I'm not one) just politely and openly say what's on my heart. And it doesn't matter to me who I'm talking to - whether it's my colleague, a family member or my boss. On the other hand, I also compliment without much reluctance - I believe that everyone likes to hear something nice about themselves, and I'm of the opinion that if the compliments are genuine then it's worth giving them to others consciously. What does this have to do with courage? In my understanding of courage, and from my 20 years of experience working with people, it does - we are often critical of others (criticism somehow comes easily to us), and we can't say something nice to the other person or we simply do not bother to truly notice and compliment.

I take responsibility for mistakes. This is so simple and it saves a lot of time and energy! When I make a mistake, I don't spin, I don't try to turn the cat on its head, I don't think about who I can hold responsible. I made a mistake - ok, it happens. A simple, "I'm sorry. You're right, I did indeed make a mistake" - cuts off further unnecessary discussion. And instead of endlessly debating whose fault was it, or what circumstances led me to do this or that, one can immediately get on with finding a solution.

I am open to new. Interestingly, this applies mostly to professional situations, less to private ones (some time ago, my husband asked me why, when going to a new restaurant, I always order the same dishes - which I know and like - instead of trying something new ??). But when it comes to professional matters - I've been following a rule for years: it's better to try and regret, than not to try and later think: “what if…”. I was stepping out of my comfort zone many times in my life. Just to name few examples: I moved to Germany for work for 2 years hardly speaking German, I took over responsibility for sales after 15 years in HR, I moved with my family to Lichtenstein right after maternity leave (my baby boy was 5 months old) and took over the global HR role.

I do not avoid difficult or conflict situations. Years ago my close team mate asked me: "do you always have to have an opinion different from the rest of the group?" No, I don't have to, but if I do, even if I am the only person with a different opinion, I will express it (only if I believe this shall bring something positive). I believe that when different views clash, new and surprising ideas can also be born. That, to me, is the beauty of diversity. I always encourage and will continue to encourage others to be bold in expressing their opinions, even if they are at odds with the majority.

All what I have written I believe is within each of us. It is nothing special or great. These are purely human attitudes that can be developed - like muscles, through constant repetition. I haven't always been brave in expressing my opinion, I haven't always been bold in saying what I think while being in opposition to others, I haven't always taken on new professional challenges by throwing myself into deep water. But a drop drills the rock, and many years ago I began to work on certain behaviors and attitudes in myself. And every attempt I made, every action I took, strengthened my confidence and reduced my fear. Because for me, to be brave means, first of all, to take action despite fear. I am still afraid of many things but it does not stop me. Fortunately, my curiosity, ambition and determination are stronger than fear. And that is exactly my courage!