AM I AMBITIOUS ENOUGH?

One of the top executives I coach recently asked me a deceptively simple question:?Am I ambitious enough?

We paused, reflected, and began to unpack what this meant—revealing layers of complexity. Her question became an exploration of values, desires, and the pressure to conform, which led to this article: a reflection on ambition, how it differs by gender and success, and the fine line between pursuing dreams and living them.

Interestingly, the word “ambition” comes from the Latin?ambitio, meaning “to go around” and seek support or votes—a reminder that ambition has always involved reaching beyond oneself. With this in mind, here are a few points to consider before answering your version of this question.

THE MEANING OF SUCCESS

Ambition and success are often seen as two sides of the same coin, but what does success really mean to you? Too often, we adopt someone else’s version—whether it’s a parent’s dream, societal expectations, or the allure of promotions, salary brackets, a dream home, or luxury vacations. Yet success is deeply personal. For some, it’s about climbing the corporate ladder with its financial rewards; for others, it’s mastering a skill or finding balance between work and life—like the growing trend among Generation Z, including influencers, yoga teachers, and others making a living while traveling the world.

Reflecting on your own definition is the first step to understanding whether your ambition aligns with your values. As Lao Tzu wisely said: “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” Success begins with knowing yourself.

And… Can I Have It All?

The idea of “having it all” has become something of a myth. Success in one area of life often comes at the expense of another. The more we chase the illusion of perfection—career, family, personal fulfillment—the more fragmented we become. This constant inner questioning or pursuit of ‘all’ can lead to self-sabotage, preventing you from focusing on what matters most. Rather than aiming to ‘have it all,’ perhaps the real challenge is choosing what holds the greatest significance for you right now. What are you willing to let go of to achieve what’s most important? When ambition becomes a balancing act, understanding your priorities is key to staying grounded. As?Epictetus?pointed out: “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”

OWNING YOUR AMBITION

Ambition is a personal journey, often entangled in external expectations. To truly own it, it’s essential to understand its deeper meaning beyond career milestones and societal norms. Let’s explore how ambition can be redefined, aligned with your true values, and pursued in a fulfilling and authentic way.

Beyond the Job Title

Ambition isn’t synonymous with a career path. Many mistake their job titles or salaries for a measure of their ambition. True ambition is the drive to pursue what genuinely matters to you. Ambition goes beyond the next promotion or the fancy title—it’s about creating a life aligned with your passions, values, and impact. What if ambition were more boundless? As?Carl Jung?insightfully noted: “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” What if it represented your desire to learn, contribute meaningfully, or find your unique purpose, regardless of your career path? Expanding your definition of ambition helps you understand it as a driving power for personal growth rather than just career success.

Is Ambition a Matter of Gender?

Ambition isn’t simply “he” or “she.” Societal norms often frame it through a gendered lens—men are expected to pursue promotions and financial success, while women are seen as balancing ambition with family or caregiving roles. But is that the full picture? Many women show assertiveness typically linked to masculinity, while some men prioritize emotional intelligence and balance, traits often seen as feminine. In truth, as several studies over the past 30 years, including those by?Alice Eagly, suggest, ambition transcends gender. The real question is: How much of it is shaped by societal expectations, and how much reflects our true selves?

Ambition and Power: partners in crime??

Power and ambition, though closely linked, are not the same. Power often relates to external influence, authority, or control, while ambition is more about an internal drive and personal goals. The pursuit of power can naturally extend from ambition, serving to amplify one’s impact and achieve greater aspirations. Yet, ambition doesn’t always aim for power—many are motivated by growth, mastery, or a deeper sense of purpose rather than dominance.

Ambition and power can both be addictive, leading individuals to chase power for validation or status rather than true fulfillment. Ultimately, understanding how the pursuit of power interacts with your ambition can help you stay grounded, ensuring your goals remain aligned with your values along the way.

Whose Ambition am I pursuing?

How much of your ambition is yours, and how much is shaped by others’ expectations? From family influences to societal norms, we often feel pressured to pursue dreams that aren’t fully ours. If your ambition is a reflection of someone else’s desires, it might leave you unfulfilled—even if you reach the top. Our ambitions are often like a compass, but are you sure the needle is pointing toward your true north? We also compare ourselves to those we admire, projecting their success onto our own lives, only to find ourselves running a race that isn’t truly ours. Even if we cross the finish line, we may feel exhausted and disconnected, wondering why we ran the race in the first place. The key to owning your ambition is aligning it with your true values, not the external noise. As?Brené Brown?explains: “You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”

Touching your dream

Ambition without action is just fantasy. Identifying what you really want—and why—is crucial. Start by writing down your goals as if they’ve already been achieved and review your progress regularly. It’s about taking practical and measurable steps toward your own version of success. As Tony Robbins aptly declares: “If you talk about it, it’s a dream. If you envision, it’s possible. If you plan it, it’s real.” Moreover, flexibility will be essential, as your dream may evolve along the way. By setting a course and taking action, you’ll build momentum and stay aligned with your vision. As you move toward your dream, expect setbacks—they’re part of the journey. When obstacles arise, revisit your why and remember that each step, whether forward or backward, contributes to your growth. The real challenge lies in perseverance and reframing setbacks as opportunities to learn.

Can I be Happy and Ambitious?

Ambition and happiness often seem at odds, as constantly chasing the next goal can leave little room for contentment. But can you pursue your ambitions while still finding joy in the present? That’s the real challenge. True ambition means savoring both the journey and the destination. Finding a balance between striving for more and appreciating what you already have is key to enjoying life without losing your drive. As?Maya Angelou?simply put it: “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”

THE SHADOW OF REGRET

Regret is the shadow that follows unfulfilled ambition. It takes courage to step out on your own and pursue what you want, rather than what’s expected. And with courage comes risk—and the potential for regret. If you’re always looking toward the horizon, constantly chasing the next goal, you may miss the present moment. One day, you might look back and wonder why you didn’t enjoy the journey more. Success without presence leads to regret. So, try and balance your ambition to achieve with your mindfulness to live.

Regret often ties us to the past, weighing us down with thoughts of what could have been. But regret holds no value. Instead, by taking only the positive lessons from the past, you free up your energy to focus on the future. Let go of what no longer serves you, and embrace the present and what lies ahead. As?S?ren Kierkegaard?reflected: “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

WHEN IS IT ENOUGH?

That is the big question. Indeed, we often tie our worth to our accomplishments, believing that more achievements or recognition will finally make us feel “enough.” Yet, external success doesn’t always bring inner contentment. We often assume that reaching a new level of success will provide lasting fulfillment. But the truth is, external achievements rarely offer lasting peace. True contentment comes when you recognize that your value isn’t measured by what you achieve, but by who you already are. As?Ralph Waldo Emerson?reminds us: “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Being “enough” isn’t about reaching a certain level of ambition or success—it’s about knowing when to stop measuring yourself against unrealistic standards. If you can pursue your goals while staying true to yourself, you’ve already won. You are enough, just as you are, with or without the next big achievement.

WHEN IS IT TOO MUCH?

It’s impossible to reflect on ambition without considering the opposite perspective: “Haven’t we already been too ambitious?” With the depletion of natural resources, the relentless drive for profit, and work-focused lifestyles, it’s worth asking if ambition, as we know it, has already reached its limits. Emerging trends like slow food, which advocates for mindful, nutrient-rich eating, have expanded into concepts like slow living—encouraging a more intentional, fulfilling pace of life. There’s also slow fashion, emphasizing sustainability in clothing, and slow cities, prioritizing community and local culture.

So, why not extend this philosophy to our careers? A slow career isn’t about climbing the ladder quickly but about pursuing a path that resonates with your values and sense of purpose—and staying open to new directions if your aspirations change. The goal isn’t speed but lasting fulfillment, both personally and professionally.

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WINNING ON YOUR OWN TERMS

You win when you learn, you win when you care—and when others care for you. Ambition isn’t always about having more. It means staying true to yourself and making mindful choices about what truly matters to you, whether in your career, relationships, or lifestyle.

Avoid the regrets that come from living someone else’s dream. Whether you choose to slow down and build deeper connections, seek fulfillment through a purposeful career, or balance ambition with mindfulness, only you can define what “enough” truly means.

So, are you ambitious enough?

Article written by Sylvia de Téglassy on 14/10/2024

Authors Quoted?(order of appearance):

• Lao Tzu?: Founding figure of Taoism, Lao Tzu is best known for his work “Tao Te Ching”, which explores philosophy, ethics, and wisdom. Source: Tao Te Ching, 4th century BCE.
• Epictetus?: Greek Stoic philosopher, his teachings focus on the importance of personal freedom and internal mastery over external circumstances. Source: Discourses, circa 108 AD.
• Carl Jung?: Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, renowned for his theories on the unconscious mind, archetypes, and individuation. Source: Various works, early to mid-20th century.
• Alice Eagly?:??American social psychologist known for her research on gender roles, leadership, and how gender stereotypes affect leadership styles and ambition. Co-authored Role Congruity Theory of Prejudice Toward Female Leaders with Steven Karau, published in 2002 in Psychological Review.
• Brené Brown?: American researcher, professor, and author known for her work on vulnerability, courage, empathy, and shame. Source: Daring Greatly, 2012.
• Tony Robbins: American motivational speaker, life coach, and author, widely recognized for his work on personal development and success strategies. Source: Various works, including Awaken the Giant Within, 1991.
• Maya Angelou?: American poet, memoirist, and civil rights activist, best known for her autobiographical work I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Source: Various speeches and interviews.
• S?ren Kierkegaard?: Danish philosopher and theologian, often considered the father of existentialism. Source: Journals and Fear and Trembling, mid-19th century.
• Ralph Waldo Emerson?: American essayist, philosopher, and poet, Emerson led the transcendentalist movement and is known for his essays on self-reliance and individualism. Source: Self-Reliance, 1841.

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