Am I ACTUALLY Being Resilient? Here’s Some Thoughts

Judging your own level of resilience can be a very tricky thing to do.

A judgement that is not made easier either by the amount of evidence about ourselves that we have available, potentially proving the case of both sides of the argument.

This is made all the more complicated due to the fact that sometimes our perception of ourselves isn’t always accurate – biases in our thinking mean that we don’t always have the best perspective on our own behaviour!

That’s because the journey through life is a turbulent one. With every jet stream that provides us with the momentum to rise to our highest points, there are air pockets along the way that create different scales of descent.

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I’m not a pilot by the way. That metaphor might have been a plane crash.

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One thing that can definitely help you to establish whether you are a resilient person is a definition of resilience itself.

We have actually made a video to explain that here -?https://www.excel-communications.com/blog/true-impact-resilience

How can we determine our level of resilience though? Here’s some signs to look out for...

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Positive attitude

Would you say that you generally find yourself to be in a good mood?

Does that good mood also continue into more challenging circumstances?

The answer to these questions will tell you a great deal about your resilience, as for some, they may feel like their default is a good mood, however it may only take the smallest setback for it to completely evaporate.

However, in other cases, you may discover that you are able to deal with challenges without it harming your general outlook on life.

Of course though, It’s can be quite natural for our thoughts to err on the side of negative, particularly if we are faced with a challenge or setback! It can be more difficult than you might think sometimes to stay realistic, or even optimistic, when challenges arise, and we may not even realise it at the time.

Adaptability and Flexibility

We all have varied reactions for when our equilibrium is challenged, or when our ideal vision for future self seems to be in doubt.

There are some that seem to be able to adjust to the waves and ride them somewhere better regardless of their size, whereas others get submerged as soon as their calm waters turn choppy.

Additionally, some people love the idea of mixing things up and turning up the velocity of the wave pool on themselves, and not sticking rigidly to the way that things may have always been traditionally done.

They seemingly do this without fear of failure, or at least with comfort that failure will prove more helpful in the future than inaction. To contrast, some people stick to paths they know because they’re unsure of unknowns and how they might deal with them.

It can be a very helpful exercise to determine on which sides of these you fit into best.

Some people naturally fall on the side of happily changing or mixing things up without fear! So if you don’t find it so easy, that’s okay… but the good news is that you can absolutely learn how to get better at adapting!

Reaction to pressure and challenge

How easy do you find it to remain calm and logical in trying circumstances?

Because when you can slowly feel that pressure dial being cranked up, it can become very easy to begin to focus on the things that are less than ideal, rather than how you can continue to move forwards despite them.

Sometimes we worry about the worst case scenario – or think that the worst case is far more likely than it really is. This isn’t always about being super optimistic but actually just a little bit more realistic about probable outcomes rather than every possible outcome (particularly the worst ones). That uncertainty can be a little bit daunting, so we can try and convince ourselves that we know what will happen (even if that’s bad) and let our negative thoughts run away with us.

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Use of a support network

Do you often try to find the solutions to all of life’s challenges alone, or do you have people that you turn for help and advice?

A good exercise to do in helping to determine the who your support network consists of, is to begin to make a list of people that you are in conversation with regularly, and the common topics that are discussed.

Once complete, this will both show you the size of your network, and also the depth of it. Shining light on any network blind spots that exist and therefore could be filled going forwards.

The reason why this will give you a good grasp of your level of resilience is because, contrary to what some may believe, resilience is not a measure of your ability to handle everything alone.

A sign of great resilience is having the self-awareness to seek guidance rather than struggling to navigate yourself.

Thanks?

Natasha, Alex & The Excel Team