Always Searching for the Connections That Matter

CARL VINSON was deploying early the next morning for a seven-month deployment.? I decided to make a run to the Navy Exchange to buy a few personal things that I needed as I finished my pack-out. It was getting late, and there were few customers.? I was quick to notice a young Sailor and an older woman a few aisles over.? The young man had on his working uniform and a CARL VINSON ballcap. ?They were shopping and talking.? Every so often, I would catch one or both looking at me, and/or pointing in my general direction. I decided to hang for a few minutes as the woman became a little more animated and seemingly interested in talking with me. ?It was a dynamic that I felt worth exploring.

I ‘shopped’ my way over to their location and struck up a conversation. “Hey Shipmate, how are you?? Everything ok?? We have an early start tomorrow morning, you know. ?Are you ready to change the world?” “Yes sir!? I am ready to go.? I am doing some last-minute shopping, just like you”, he responded.? Moving his hand to the woman’s back, he said, “Sir, this is my mom.? She drove all the way up from Mobile, Alabama to see us leave in the morning.? I told her that you were my Captain, and she kept telling me she wanted to meet you.”? I shook her hand, but I wanted to hug her.? “Hello ma’am.? It is a pleasure to meet you. You have a great son…we are lucky to have him on our team. How many hours does it take to drive from Mobile to Bremerton?”? “Hello Captain, it is nice to meet you as well.? It took me three long days, but it was worth it to see my son and that big ship. ?I had no idea how big it is.” ?We talked for a few minutes.? It was apparent to me, and probably to his mom, that he was ready to have this conversation be over, so he could get on with whatever it was that he needed to get done. ?She did not care, and neither did I.? She was delightful.? My paygrade or title was not important to her.? ??She was more focused on the fact that I was able to help her son survive, maybe flourish while deployed. “Shipmate”, I said, “Your mom drove all the way up from Alabama to see you off.? Very few moms would do this.? She deserves whatever time she wants to spend talking.? I think that the very least we can do is listen to her and see what is on her mind.”? We talked for about twenty minutes.? I gave her my business card with my email address and encouraged her to drop me a note whenever it suited her – intentionally in front of her son. She and I exchanged several emails during the deployment….once, when she asked me if I would check on him, as she had not heard from him in a while.? I visited the young man’s work center the very next day and asked him how his mom was doing.? I intimated that it would be a great idea if he wrote her a note that evening just to let her now what he was doing, and why it was so important….and not to forget to tell her that “he loved her”.

I could sense that there was a point that she was wanting to make, so I asked her how I might be of service to her. ?“Captain, my son says he likes the CARL VINSON, and is happy to be in the Navy.? He tells me that his job is important.”?? “Ma’am, every job is important, and I am happy that he feels that way.? We need him.? But I can tell that there is something more on your mind.” ?“Captain”, she said, her eyes focused on mine, a tone in her voice that only a mom can muster, and a firm grip from her hand to my right forearm that had my attention, “I love my son more than anything.? I have just one thing I want to tell you.? ‘You take care of my son!’”? Slam! ?Bam!? Immediately the connection was personal. ?I understood her expectations of me, and I knew that her son understood my expectations of him. “Yes ma’am”, I responded. ?“I assure you that we will do everything possible. ?I want to thank you for your concern.? I can never love him as much as his you do, but I want to assure you that I do love him.? I also want to thank you for reminding me what is most important in my job? - taking care of my people who give me their all.? Thank you so much for driving up to see us off. ?I wish you safe travels home. ?Shipmate, you have a great mom, and I am sure that she will hear that from you before you say goodnight to her.”? She quietly and quickly turned and left, content with our interaction, all the while her son tugging at her sleeve – he understood the connection we had developed, and that he had a role in keeping his mom fully and honestly informed. It reminded me of my role as a leader and a Shipmate. ?

I had a responsibility to this young Sailor. ?Moreover, I had a responsibility to a mother (many mothers….spouses…dads) who had loaned her son to the US Navy.? This moment stuck with me for the deployment, and is with me to this day.