Always Keepin' It Real...

My approach to therapy is based on the idea that the relationship between the therapist and client is the single most important element in the healing process. It's not the fancy tools, the techniques, the journalling, the homework; it's in the trust, the non-judgmental holding, it's in hearing and reflecting, it's in healthy boundaries, it's in unconditional positive regard - it's in the REALNESS of the therapeutic relationship.?

??I find that the most significant healing that occurs in therapy is as a result of the relationship, and for many of my clients, our therapeutic relationship is often the first safe, boundaried, respectful, and unconditionally caring relationship they've ever had.

Part of this is because of my willingness as a therapist to be, above all else, HUMAN. ??

When I am able to appropriately share my human-ness with my clients, by authentically emoting (yes, I cry!) as they share their tender stories, it validates their emotional experiences. When I can deeply relate to how fearless one has to be to engage in therapy and how difficult it can be because I'm also doing my own work, it helps build trust. When I am able to express deep empathy or even sympathy for a common painful experience (hello, pandemic!), it helps them feel connected and not so alone.? When they experience me making mistakes, then circling back to repair without getting stuck in shame, they feel less fearful to do this in their own lives.?

The most important things any good therapist brings to their counseling practice are their humanity, flaws, lived experiences, quirks, emotional authenticity, and deep personal understanding of how hard it is sometimes to be human, and the first-hand experience of the beauty that lies in healing.

Human first, counselor second.