Always Dance: Eight Essential Life Lessons Learned Working in a Nightclub

In grade 13 I told my parents that I had found a perfect part time job that I could work at around my considerable commitments to varsity sports practices as well as games and a job that wouldn’t interfere with my schoolwork. Initially they were thrilled! They asked what I would be doing and what company I was working for, and once I told them they were less than pleased. Honestly, they were horrified. I had secured a job at a local bar as the cover girl (for the uninitiated, the cover girl is the person who collects the cover, or door charge to come into the establishment).

Let me add some additional details to lend color to the angst of my parents– the bar was downtown and did not have the best reputation, and I would be working on the weekends to the wee hours of the morning with all sorts of drama that loud music, crowds of people and booze entails. My eighteen year old self didn’t really see the risks and downsides, only that this gig fit the bill. I could continue to play field hockey, compete at swimming and play soccer and never miss a game. I could make some money. And best of all – how glamorous! A lot better than flipping burgers or delivering newspapers I thought to myself at the time not entirely comprehending what I was signing up for in my naiveté. 

My parents had very legitimate concerns. First and foremost that I was being introduced to some unsavory elements of the world (completely true). Second - my overall safety, based on their belief that nothing good happens after midnight (reasonable). Finally practically – how would I make my way home when I was finished my shift long after they were in bed sleeping (problem solved, taxi!)

After a very heated debate where my go to argument was I had always done what they had asked of me, followed their rules and was a “good girl” plus I was eighteen after all - a deal was hatched. I could take the job, but if my straight A’s faltered for a second that would be the end, and if the late nights impacted my ability on the pitch, pool or field I would quit. Negotiation won, I excitedly took the bus to downtown for my first night of work in a world that was completely foreign to a geeky jock high school student.

Now that I look back I think that the cocktail waitresses and bouncers that I encountered upon my arrival that first night were probably looking at me wondering who the heck this kid was, as much as I was wide eyed looking at the strobe lights and smelling the stale beer as the final clean ups and tests were happening before the doors opened.

And so it began…

I did encounter all walks of life. The music was loud. Many of my colleagues had colorful pasts (and often colorful present states!) There was never a dull moment and every night there was a story or drama or crisis. I loved the energy of it all. I however, was completely clueless in the ways of the adult world but especially this nightclub world.

I listened intently to the instructions on my first night:

Lesson One: Perspective (and Experience) is Everything When Considering the Big Picture

“It’s ladies night, so they don’t pay – but the guys do before 11pm. So take this clicker and keep track of all the covers you collect in the register. Then take this clicker <hands me another small metal device that counts off> and keep track of the total number of people in the bar, so first click in the paid people and then add the ladies that are walking in free. After 11 everyone is free”

Um, okay I can do that. Then the manager went on, “You won’t need this until 11pm or later – but when we get close to our maximum capacity I need you to click this clicker <hands me a third metal clicker> to a number that is reasonable based on the actual number, but less than the maximum so we can show it to the fire inspector if he drops in for a visit. Don’t worry about that one until we get full and then just up click it every half hour or so. Got it?”

Okay – so I have two metal clickers between my knees, and one in the register to use later. I’ve got this! But as the line started to form early and arguments ensued over ID and the current state of drunkenness of potential patrons and with the two huge doorman on either side of me I started to mix up the clickers. Then I lost track of which one was which. Damn it! I reasoned that of all the stuff I was asked to do, knowing the total number of people in the bar and keeping a clicker for the fire inspector was key. The one that was supposed to match the till was a distant third in my mind because hey – the money is in the register and I could make correct change so no biggie.

At the end of the first week the manager came over at the end of my shift and laughed and smiled at me and said, “Well kiddo – I know you are honest after this week!” The idea that I would be less than honest was not something I had considered, so I asked what he meant. He replied, “Your register clicker was way over and way under depending on the day – so you certainly aren’t stealing money from the register!” Stealing?! What!

It never occurred to me that many who had come before me looked at the problem very differently. Balancing the register clicker with the amount of money in the register to them the most important because it showed that they weren’t stealing money. Secondarily knowing the total number of people in the bar was the next priority. Their last priority was worrying about the fire inspector clicker. This bar manager having been around the block a few times and knew from experience that precision on balancing the register clicker sometimes equaled a thief. Why? Because if the cover girl’s intent was on pocketing cash, her focus would be on making sure that everything “looked” right.

Your perspective and experience (or lack thereof) will form your view of the big picture. Take a moment to assess where you are looking from every now and again and constantly seek out those who see things differently.

Lesson Two: Watch for Early Warning Signals On Your Colleagues

If this trifecta of clickers wasn’t enough, an additional responsibility while sitting at the front door was watching a panel of lights that indicated if any doors opened in the bar. There were lots of back doors and secret doors and doormen stood or patrolled at all of these perimeters to ensure safety. If the light went on, that was okay – but if the light stayed on or flickered on and off that usually indicated a problem.

If there was a fight or someone needed to be thrown out it didn’t always happen through the front door. The doormen with the most visible backup were at the front door. The ones in the basement and the ones that stayed at the back near the alley were often alone. If they got into trouble with a patron it was nearly impossible to “see” the trouble so usually the only indication was the light going on and staying on (if they propped the door open to signal for help) or if it flicked on and off (usually because of a fight or trying to subdue someone)

Always create a system to check in on your colleagues that isn’t overly complicated and allows them easily to indicate when they need help – even when help doesn’t mean jumping into an alley!

Lesson Three: Invest Your Energy with Integrity and Focus

Having now been deemed “reliable and honest” and alerting the front office to opening doors and having my colleagues backs, I was asked if I wanted to work in the coat check to get more hours during Thursday nights in addition to the Fridays and Saturdays I was working. I jumped at the chance. After a few weeks my partner in the oversized closet asked me if I wanted to make even more money. I asked how. He explained – “if we sell the first coat when the bar opens and that person leaves early-ish, we can take the hanger and their number that they hand in, and sell that same number to someone that comes after them and pocket the money”

Whoa, I’m not a thief but I didn’t want to come off as an uptight prude (which I kinda was) so rather than flat out saying no, I said, “seems like a lot of work to steal $2.25 – plus if we get caught we’ll lose our jobs, no way. Don’t you think we could invest our energy in doing the job at hand and make the same or more money in tips?”

He did not agree and a few months later he got fired (as many folks did – see lesson one) for stealing bigger amounts of cash in other nefarious ways. Then I took his shifts on my own, made the hourly wage and tips without stealing.

You don’t have infinite attention, focus on what will get your further and farther. It is usually not the path of least resistance nor a shortcut.

Lesson Four: Own Your Values. Never Compromise

So now I am part of the inner circle. I have proven myself trustworthy and reliable. I start to understand the ways of this world and the pitfalls that surround me, but I still love the energy and truth be told – despite my parents misgivings it was a way cool job to have in high school.

The manager says they’d like to promote me to cocktail waitress. It would mean more hours and way more tips. When did I want to start? By now I was wise enough to know that cocktail waitressing in a dance club was no easy job, there was a lot of risk (people taking off on bills or grabbing you while you sailed by with a tray full of drinks unable to defend yourself) I asked if I could start waitressing at the restaurant first, learn, and then consider cocktailing.

Flat out no – that was the reverse order. First you cocktailed and if you were good and the owners liked you, would you then get invited to work in the early evenings and the weekend in the restaurant. So the offer was a take it or leave it. If I wanted the extra hours I needed to cocktail.

Rather than saying yes despite my numerous misgivings, I stuck with my intuition and said no thank you – I don’t think that it is for me (and I pondered how over the summer I’d get more hours to pay for university)

When you feel absolutely certain in your gut about a decision, do not second guess yourself or compromise – you feel that way for a reason.

Lesson Five: Seize Opportunities 

The chance to get more hours over the summer presented itself shortly thereafter. The surly teenaged boy who sat at the street side hotdog cart, usually huddled over a stool with a hoodie yanked over his eyes quit without notice one weekend in the spring. It was cold. He was tired of sitting outside smelling of hot dogs and making very little money. I saw my chance when the manager lamented about looking for a replacement.

I put up my hand, “I’ll do it!” He was surprised. “Really – you want to cook hotdogs all night? Okay – job is yours!” I started to consider how I could maximize this opportunity. I knew simply being enthusiastic and personable would help. I identified an unmet need in the marketplace and devised a product offering. Vegetarians were a forgotten group twenty years ago – I’d toast buns and offer them a late night meat free way to soak up the alcohol.

I danced and laughed and generally had a good time the first summer out on the main drag downtown. I ended up making pretty good tips and I got the hours I needed. The next summer the owner was opening a new bar and approached me and asked if I would like to take my hot dog cart operation off the street and onto the patio at the new place and to sweeten the deal he’d give me a beer bar to boot.

I said of course and when the new bar opened it was an instant hot spot. I got the longest shifts because I would come at the start of the night and set up and then be one of the last to leave. My tips were almost as rich as the “real” bartenders and all I was doing it taking off bottle tops! The manager quickly realized how lucrative my new operation was and suggested that I never take a night off. If the other staff members realized how much money there was to be had, he’d be forced to rotate others into my world. But he told me that he’d appreciated my initiative the summer before when I helped him – so until someone complained all the money was mine for the making!

Seize opportunities. In the short term you might second guess yourself– but each action leads to another step towards something bigger.

Lesson Six: Take Direction (but know why and ask questions when appropriate)

As time went on, I started to understand some of the reasons why my parents were concerned about this nightclub job. There were a lot of potential pitfalls. In retrospect it was an amazing learning opportunity for me. One night I walked by the manager who grabbed my arm and yelled in my ear to go upstairs to the DJ booth and ask the light technician to shine a light into the stairwell. Realizing something was the matter I nodded and said, “okay.” The manager yanked my arm hard and pulled me towards him and screamed, “never ask me why – just do IT!”

Shaken, I ran upstairs and did as I was told. The lights illuminated the corner stairwell and 15 minutes later the police arrived and arrested someone who I later found out was dealing drugs in that previously dark corner. At staff drinks at the end of the night still ruminating on being yelled at I marched over to the manager and said, “I just want you to know that I didn’t ask you why – I said okay.”

He had completely forgotten the incident in the drama of the night and told me he was sorry – that he was under an immense amount of stress and he had dealt with people all night questioning everything he needed to get done and he had taken it out on me. He asked me if I realized what had gone on, and I explained that I had seen the police and got a glimpse of the corner when it was lit up and figured there was someone dealing drugs.

Asking for clarification is important, and understanding how what you do impacts others is important – but sometimes it is best in the moment to act based on direction when you have a competent leader and seek understanding later.

Lesson Seven: Lead (Even When You Are Not in Charge)

Most weekend nights in university I wasn’t out partying with my friends, I was bopping around on the patio behind the bar and hot dog cart laughing and serving patrons. It was fun. Because there was an exit at the back of the patio directly beside me inevitably there would be people who thought they could escape the line and make a quick entrance via the patio.

I always had a doorman at the gate and technically it was his job to secure this exit, but most often I got paired with a guy who wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. People would come to the back and start weaving yarns about how important they were or how critical it was for them to get in ASAP. People are creative beings and the breadth of stories was constantly amusing. However the most common reason requested for back door entrances was the person’s tight relationship with the manager, and their belief based on this mutual deep friendship that he’d want us to let them in and if we didn't we'd get in trouble.

At first the doorman would get all concerned that perhaps in fact this was true – and how would it look if we denied the best friend of the manager and he’d go off leaving me with a full bar AND a door to watch. For a few weeks this would happen nightly and I realized how precarious of a position this left me in. I took charge. To the next person that declared their “since-birth-bestie-relationship” with the manager I asked “what’s his last name?”

Stumped every single person. Hmmmm….maybe not besties after all pal – why don’t you go wait in the line with everyone else out front?

Even when you are not in charge you can lead. The way you do it is by leveraging what you can add of value.

Lesson Eight: See the Good (and Struggles) in Others with Empathy

Finally after many nights and weekends you can get jaded. You end up seeing many of the same people night after night, making the same bad life choices again and again and it’s easy to judge them harshly in the light of being sober and working. We would have one of our busiest nights midweek once a month when the welfare checks were mailed.

The line ups would start early and we always had all hands on deck to deal with fights and managing the crowds. You might think that it would be a crappy night for tips because of the people being served, but you’d be wrong. “Welfare Tuesday” was one of the most lucrative nights of the month. Despite living on social assistance these patrons were high rollers much to the annoyance of some of my colleagues. One in particular would often thank someone after getting a big tip for, “and early partial tax refund” which was particularly cruel (suggesting that it was his money in the first place and the customer was merely giving it back to him)

For awhile I too thought it was ludicrous that anyone with so little would tip someone else so generously. How do they live the rest of the month if they spend $100+ on one night I thought to myself. What short term thinking! As time went on and I talked to, listen and observed on this night I realized that the money that they got from the government was not enough no matter how much they budgeted and scrimped to make it through the month, so they did take a long term view and decided that one big night would provide them memories and something to talk about for the next 20 odd days to get them through mentally. It was never really about the money.

Consider that others are fighting a battle you know nothing about and have empathy for them no matter what your situation and theirs.

In each of these lessons there is much to apply to life outside a nightclub. Every experience is an opportunity to grow, don’t wait for the “big” job or lesson. Each job or opportunity is a step on a ladder leading somewhere. If you trip on a bottom rung because you are too busy looking ahead with anticipation you’ll stumble and fall and never reach that higher vantage. When you start to ascend always take time to look down and remember where you came from and look for others that you can assist in their climb. It is a real shame to wait until your mid to late 20’s to learn some fundamental lessons outside school and family. There is a whole big wide world out there – and the sooner you explore things different than your primary surroundings and what you already know, the faster you’ll understand your place and value in the grand scheme and know where you can have impact and create joy.