Alternative Resilience

Bruce Lee said it perfectly when he described defeat as "a state of mind".

When we focus on making money, finding the perfect relationship or seeking that next bit of pleasure, we are neglecting the internal framework from which we operate as individuals. The source of our core strength and wisdom. Our true essence.

Instead, we are operating from an external framework that has been psychologically 'sold' to us around the idea of 'getting' something better than what we currently have. Getting more from our environment, our clients or even our friends. And this creates a world of 'craving'.

The thing is, we can be craving or we can be happy; we can't be both.

Whether we decide to actively influence it or not, our resilience to this external craving is a major factor in how we experience life. It forms a major part of our personal philosophy - the principles that drive our actions and behaviours.

It is what fundamentally shapes our attitudes and our decision-making abilities.

When we are not personally influencing this, we can be sure that someone or something else is - limiting our chances of shutting out the noise and reclaiming our true resilience. That which helps us craft a more progressive attitude. One which can fuel us to even greater heights.

It all comes down to the creative energy we are able to generate for ourselves.

Mental stamina comes with resilience. And whether in business, sports or even parenting, the more stamina we have, the more disposable energy we create and the more creative we can be. This is how to find enjoyment in all that we want and need to do.

What gets in the way is the Mind - the internal, self-critical dialogue that creates a story of limitation and doubt, leading to unnecessary suffering. The Mind is resilience's nemesis, and the way to transform its influence is to make it your ally. And as with any ally, this is based around trust and empathy.

So, how do we create trust and empathy within ourselves?

We do so by listening. Yes - by listening to ourselves. By affording the space to appreciate and validate our true thoughts [the Mind's expression] rather than judging or dismissing them. The paradox of effective listening is that it's done through effective questioning. By asking ourselves the alternative, and often difficult questions, we are able to truly understand our unique way of thinking.

And the best way we do this is through journaling.

Joan Didion said "I don't know what I think until I write it down," and truer words have rarely been spoken. Find an alternative voice from deep inside your essence. Find as many of them as you can. If you choose not to journal, find a mentor. Read the right books. Develop that conversation as a habit, rather than a chore.

Tony Robbins always emphasises the fact that alternative voices ask different questions, which in turn brings new perspectives. It becomes a conscious choice of curiosity. This is the only way to create the clarity we're craving. This is how we create progress.

And this is where we recognise our true potential.

Remember, we're all here now - we may as well enjoy ourselves a little.